My father is gone. Mom is 90 as mentioned above. I don't see brother or sister or talk. See my mom 2-3 times a year if that. I am 68 retired, don't have a lot but live comfortably. Want to go to Alaska. Mom is in good health just doesn't know any of us.
You don’t say how imminent her ending might be - my mom (same age as yours) has been telling me she’s going any day, certainly in the next couple weeks, for ten years now. She also knew someone who cut short an expensive trip, paid a fortune to fly home, when that person’s mother passed away unexpectedly. My mother thought that was stupid as they couldn’t do anything for her as she was dead. But my mom is more practical than sentimental. She would rather someone came to see her when she was still alive. Make your choice for you and for her and be at peace with it.
I despise everything about funerals and funeral customs. I think they’re nonsense.
The last family funeral I attended was for someone whom I dearly loved who had wanted no funeral or at least something very VERY simple, with a closed casket.
The opposite occurred. It was Hollywood. I was appalled. BE YOU.
Make your plans. It could work either way. You don't make them and she doesn't pass, You make them and she passes. See her before your trip and tell her goodbye then. Like said, Funerals are for the living. I grieved for my Mom long before her funeral, she suffered from Dementia.
Get travel insurance just in case and go on the trip. Funerals are for the living and a funeral can wait until you get back.
When I face these kinds of decisions, I think of what I would tell my own children. I would tell my children to go on the trip and have fun. I would not ask them to put their lives on hold for an unknown number of years.
I will tell you in 2019, my husband and I went on an Alaskan cruise for our 25th anniversary; my mom, who lived with us was declining due to CHF. She (willingly) went into respite while we were away. When I was fretting about possibly cancelling our trip because of her health, she looked at me like I had 12 heads and said "don't be ridiculous! Go on your cruise!". So we went and had a wonderful time, and mom was well looked after in the respite facility. The only thing I did was take out some extra travel insurance, in case she took a turn for the worse and we had to cancel last minute.
Honestly, unless your mom in the active dying phase, I think you should go. There are no certainties in life. You never really know if the last time you see your loved on is going to be the absolute last time you ever see them. My husband has had relatives die suddenly, with no real warning. You can't live - or not live, as were the case - your life based on "what ifs". That's not fair of anyone to expect of any of us. Go, enjoy the trip. If you feel the guilt might get to you, make plans to see mom soon after you get back.
My father died while I was on vacation. I was overseas and got an email that he'd suddenly become ill 2 days after I left and was terminal. By the time I reached someone at home, he had died. No way I could have gotten home in time, and no way my father would have wanted me to try. My consolation was that he had visited me a couple of months before we left (we lived some distance apart) and photos were taken. Those photos took on new meaning when I look at them now and I have NO REGRETS about taking the vacation -- death comes when it comes -- live your life.