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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Hi SharShar - I'll put it this way ....I think it's UNFAIR for a parent to actually think otherwise. To feel so entitled as to think that they shouldn't have planned for their senior years, and if one of their children is so thoughtful and selfless in taking them into their home and take care of them, then absolutely, it is Beyond Fair to pay them. There's consideration of rent/care/food, etc.
You don't owe your mother anything. Take her in only if you want to, otherwise, resentment builds from feeling obligated. Parents have children because we want them....its our privilege and or job to care for them and raise them to be productive citizens of society. As parents, it's also our job to plan for old age, to save $$$, etc. So of course it's ok and standard to charge rent to your mom. If 4 people live in your home, mom would pay 1/4 of the monthly bills. You can also add on more for caregiving.
ALL household expenses should be divided. If there are 3 adults then ALL the expenses get divided by 3. If it is a husband, wife and 3 kids and mom moves in then the expenses get divided by 6 and m om pays 1/6 or all expenses. AND if mom is in need of a caregiver and you take on that role then you get paid for the care that you give. All this should be worked out and agreed upon BEFORE mom moves in. And there should be a WRITTEN agreement for both the expenses and for caregiving.
Oh, by ALL household expenses I am also talking about Insurance, property taxes, mortgage, water, sewer, garbage, newspaper, cable. And if you go on vacation mom pays for Respite stay in a local facility or pays for an increase of caregivers for the time you are gone.
My Mom lives in the house next to us, which she sold to us at FMV. We charge her only what it costs to own and maintain the house (prop taxes, insurance, utilities, etc) so we don't profit off of her. She gets a rent invoice from me every month that line items what her rent pays for. If we were renting to a stranger we'd be getting twice to 3x the amount in rent.
I also grocery shop for her and make at least 60% of her meals so I have a separate monthly withdrawal for her share of groceries. Her SS barely covers any of this but she doesn't have many other expenses or needs anymore at 95.
I am basically her on-call caregiver (and now chauffer) who allows her to live semi-independently and comfortably in her home.
This plus, the cost of living nowadays, is necessary and more than fair.
I spent none of my own money on my mother until she was on Medicaid. She did live with me for 20 months but she had a house, for sale, that needed to be maintained. Her SS went for that. Her small pension of $200 a month, went to what she needed thru the month. I never felt guilty for using her money on her. Thats what its there for.
Even the poorest of parents usually have a small income, why should they bank that money and accumulate wealth while their caregivers are burdened with extra costs?
What about tax? That's a different issue from 'fair' (and yes of course it's fair - why should it be free). I think that sharing out-of-pocket costs (food, power, etc) isn’t hypothetical ‘income’, for tax purposes, but I’m not sure about the charge for care. I hope someone with more knowledge of USA tax will chime in here. Also about Medicare – you may need to document this some way that it doesn’t look as though M is ‘gifting’ you the money, just in case she needs Medicaid in the future.
When you turn 50, you quit paid work & the grown child of your choosing must take you in. Provide your housing, cook for you (only meals you like) drive you everywhere & keep you entertained. Of course pay for everything! The parent spent their time & money on that child for 20 or so years. An investment - this allows them to live for free and have their grown children as servants later. This is how it is.
PS This is what my friend's Mother told him - all his life.
These long held views caused him much guilt & grief.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Wishing you the best of luck with all of this.
AND if mom is in need of a caregiver and you take on that role then you get paid for the care that you give.
All this should be worked out and agreed upon BEFORE mom moves in. And there should be a WRITTEN agreement for both the expenses and for caregiving.
Oh, by ALL household expenses I am also talking about Insurance, property taxes, mortgage, water, sewer, garbage, newspaper, cable. And if you go on vacation mom pays for Respite stay in a local facility or pays for an increase of caregivers for the time you are gone.
I also grocery shop for her and make at least 60% of her meals so I have a separate monthly withdrawal for her share of groceries. Her SS barely covers any of this but she doesn't have many other expenses or needs anymore at 95.
I am basically her on-call caregiver (and now chauffer) who allows her to live semi-independently and comfortably in her home.
This plus, the cost of living nowadays, is necessary and more than fair.
I spent none of my own money on my mother until she was on Medicaid. She did live with me for 20 months but she had a house, for sale, that needed to be maintained. Her SS went for that. Her small pension of $200 a month, went to what she needed thru the month. I never felt guilty for using her money on her. Thats what its there for.
PS This is what my friend's Mother told him - all his life.
These long held views caused him much guilt & grief.
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