I am not sure how to best deal with the saying goodbye thing.
One time I said I am going to my Alzheimer's parent. They became a bit distressed and said ok lets go then and tried to follow me out the door. A number of times. Was quite stressful.
So I have started to say I am going to the bathroom, then I go to the bathroom and then sneak off. But this I feel bad about doing. I hope that they don't remember I was meant to be coming back, but I don't know whether or not for sure. I'm worried that they might be upset that I don't go back. But their upset for me saying I'm going could be worse. So I am just not quite sure what to do.
What's the best way to approach this issue?
Say goodbye in your own mind by giving parent a hug or a kiss or a pat on the shoulder, whatever comes naturally, and then slip out of the room. If your parent notices your going, you can say that you're going to the bathroom (this is fine! and you ARE so it's even true!), or you can say "don't worry, I'll be back [on Sunday/tomorrow/very soon]" and keep going.
The crucial thing is to appear to take it for granted that your parent is staying there, at home, which is what it is now, and you are going but you will very soon be back. If you're not stressed or sad, s/he is less likely to be.
The wife of my husband’s roommate once helped me greatly by telling me that when you come to see your loved one, you are entering the dementia world for a bit, then when you leave you go back to the “real” world. The patient is in a different world and you are just visiting.
Also this stage of my husband where he wanted to always go with me only lasted a few months. Now his disease has progressed a bit more and he really doesn’t want to come with me anymore. Sad, but a relief in a way.
The whole process is sad, but all you can do is your best! My best wishes to you.
You could try saying what others have posted, such as having an appointment or going to work.
Best wishes to you.
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