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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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She has fallen in the past and has neuropathy. She is particularly afraid of showers, prefers baths. Currently living in a assisted living home. She has become weak and is seems to be giving up.
My FIL lives with us, and those magical words were: you must get stronger or else we won't be able to manage you at home, so Will end up in a Nursing home! He is currently working very hard, with at Home Health PT! ☺
In addition to the good suggestions in each of the 3 preceding posts, I would suggest focusing on the issues you mentioned:
1. She's fallen and probably has fear of doing so again. Make sure she has a good wheelchair, walker or rollator, and is always accompanied by someone who can provide reassurance (as much as is reasonable) to her.
When you visit, take her for rides or walks (if you feel you can do it safely), but make it a very special occasion. If the AL has a garden, taken her there on nice days. If there's another special place, take her there. Perhaps take time for a chat about family, friends; have a discussion about positive things, show photos....make it an occasion for her to look forward to, so she begins to WANT to get out and around.
2. She has neuropathy; is she diabetic? If not, is there a B vitamin deficiency that's causing the neuropathy? Despite being diagnosed with it by a good, reliable neurologist, I discovered accidentally that it was cured with a B-50 supplement and more emphasis on foods with B vitamins.
Is she taking Neurontin or any other med for the neuropathy? How serious or debilitating is it - is it painful for her to walk? Have her doctors addressed the issue and is there any relief for it?
3. She's afraid of showers; prefers baths. So make arrangements for her to either just have baths, safely supported by a slide-over bath chair, or just go with the no rinse products, perhaps alternating between baths and no-rinse cleansing.
4. When did the apathy begin? After moving to AL, after falling? Try to go back to when she felt better, analyze what happened and focus on those events, trying to compensate, address, or turn them into something positive.
5. What did she enjoying doing before she began to lose interest in life? Resurrect those activities if you can. And take her to music sessions, and especially art sessions. If there aren't any, create your own. If you need suggestions on either, just post again.
When my father was in a chemically induced coma, in a state of severe "debilitation", I brought a hymnal his church uses and sang songs for him (I used to sing in a college chorus) and also brought a portable CD player and played his favorite CDs while I was there, then leaving one on for him as I left so that my departure wouldn't seem so abrupt.
I watched the monitor reflecting brain activity; the nurse commented that his brain activity was reflecting that "he was responding" to my music and singing.
Do the rehab with her. Sometimes just walking down the hall is therapy. Or sitting in a chair. Folding towels. Combing her own hair. It depends on her physical status. Don't call it rehab, don't ask. Assume that she will do it and help her up and as others said, once she gets started, it will be easier. Get her dressed. Check to see if she does better with you there or with you out of the room Also make sure the therapist is checking her vitals. That she is eating. That she's hydrated. In other words she might not be well. Out parents do get tired. They are old. Sometimes they just don't want to do it anymore. If she seems depressed try having a nice visit with her and then ask her to walk with you. Give her a hug.
As we age mobility becomes more and more difficult. And if the person wasn't one for hiking, going to the gym, riding a bike in their younger years then that person won't want to be motivated to do any type of rehab.
Is the physical therapy being done at her Assisted Living place? My Dad is in Independent/Assisted Living and he likes the fact he doesn't have to get all bundled up, stroll out to a car and get to a rehab center.... the rehab center comes to him... and he enjoys the attention.
Oh, another thing I noticed with Dad, if the therapist is a cute young thing, Dad would do his exercises even more trying to impress her :) Same with my late Mom, her therapist years ago was a very nice young fellow and she would follow every word he said, and 20 years later she was still doing those very same exercises at home every day :)
Elders have a fear of falling in the shower... I solved that by getting my Dad a shower chair, thus Dad is much more cooperative when it comes to bathing.... he does have caregiving help when showering. Another thing, elders sometimes get claustrophobic in a shower [I have that issue myself] so I keep the doors open a bit which helps.
Ah, the magic words to motivate someone. Don't we all want those? (I wouldn't mind a set of words to motivate myself, sometimes.)
What kind of rehab services are available right in the ALF? Do they have a rehab room and either someone on staff or visiting therapists who use that room? Perhaps their words would be more magical than yours.
My daughter works in an ALF. Her job is to walk with residents who have signed up for it. On nice days they walk outside. She has a stationery bike in her office and some can do that instead of/in addition to walking. Does your mom's place have any kind of service like that?
Are there walk-in tubs in your mom's ALF, and a service available to assist with that?
Just reread your post again. What can you do to reward her for participating in rehab? If you can think of something she enjoys, and make it a habit, it might be an encouragement to get through rehab to get her reward.
My mom just started her rehab last week after a fall in mid-February. Up til now she was bedridden while waiting for her bones to heal, which they now have. While I was there visiting her over Easter weekend we talked about starting phys therapy and she seemed to have kind of a defeatist attitude about it. I assured her that she could build up her muscles and walk again, but she kept saying, I don't know if I can. I said I was sure she could but it would take some hard work. She said, "...welI I don't know...maybe I've lived long enough, don't you think?" I said "...not at all" and I reminded her that she was in pretty darn good shape before the fall, and with a month or two of rehab she could well be back up and around, enjoying life again. So last time I talked to her - the other day - she had started in rehab, was very tired, but I think the challenge and focusing on a goal uplifted her spirits a little. She is no longer just lying in bed all day, she has a schedule for phys therapy and it gives her something to work toward. Sometimes the hardest part of getting someone, including ourselves, to do something challenging is just getting them (us) to start. Once we start and realize it's not so bad after all, it gets to be routine, and gradually gets easier. Sometimes we can even enjoy it!! So do all you can to help your elderly person to just TRY rehab and I bet she will take it from there. One good motivator I didn't think about, but that stacyb mentioned, is tell the elder person that they will have to do their PT if they want to get back to where they lived before the fall and back to a normal life. That would be a great motivator I think - no one wants to be stuck in a hospital or nursing home if they can get back on their feet. Best of luck to you, BigSister!!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
1. She's fallen and probably has fear of doing so again. Make sure she has a good wheelchair, walker or rollator, and is always accompanied by someone who can provide reassurance (as much as is reasonable) to her.
When you visit, take her for rides or walks (if you feel you can do it safely), but make it a very special occasion. If the AL has a garden, taken her there on nice days. If there's another special place, take her there. Perhaps take time for a chat about family, friends; have a discussion about positive things, show photos....make it an occasion for her to look forward to, so she begins to WANT to get out and around.
2. She has neuropathy; is she diabetic? If not, is there a B vitamin deficiency that's causing the neuropathy? Despite being diagnosed with it by a good, reliable neurologist, I discovered accidentally that it was cured with a B-50 supplement and more emphasis on foods with B vitamins.
Is she taking Neurontin or any other med for the neuropathy? How serious or debilitating is it - is it painful for her to walk? Have her doctors addressed the issue and is there any relief for it?
3. She's afraid of showers; prefers baths. So make arrangements for her to either just have baths, safely supported by a slide-over bath chair, or just go with the no rinse products, perhaps alternating between baths and no-rinse cleansing.
4. When did the apathy begin? After moving to AL, after falling? Try to go back to when she felt better, analyze what happened and focus on those events, trying to compensate, address, or turn them into something positive.
5. What did she enjoying doing before she began to lose interest in life? Resurrect those activities if you can. And take her to music sessions, and especially art sessions. If there aren't any, create your own. If you need suggestions on either, just post again.
When my father was in a chemically induced coma, in a state of severe "debilitation", I brought a hymnal his church uses and sang songs for him (I used to sing in a college chorus) and also brought a portable CD player and played his favorite CDs while I was there, then leaving one on for him as I left so that my departure wouldn't seem so abrupt.
I watched the monitor reflecting brain activity; the nurse commented that his brain activity was reflecting that "he was responding" to my music and singing.
Is the physical therapy being done at her Assisted Living place? My Dad is in Independent/Assisted Living and he likes the fact he doesn't have to get all bundled up, stroll out to a car and get to a rehab center.... the rehab center comes to him... and he enjoys the attention.
Oh, another thing I noticed with Dad, if the therapist is a cute young thing, Dad would do his exercises even more trying to impress her :) Same with my late Mom, her therapist years ago was a very nice young fellow and she would follow every word he said, and 20 years later she was still doing those very same exercises at home every day :)
Elders have a fear of falling in the shower... I solved that by getting my Dad a shower chair, thus Dad is much more cooperative when it comes to bathing.... he does have caregiving help when showering. Another thing, elders sometimes get claustrophobic in a shower [I have that issue myself] so I keep the doors open a bit which helps.
What kind of rehab services are available right in the ALF? Do they have a rehab room and either someone on staff or visiting therapists who use that room? Perhaps their words would be more magical than yours.
My daughter works in an ALF. Her job is to walk with residents who have signed up for it. On nice days they walk outside. She has a stationery bike in her office and some can do that instead of/in addition to walking. Does your mom's place have any kind of service like that?
Are there walk-in tubs in your mom's ALF, and a service available to assist with that?