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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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This is common for many elders, and even more so for people with dementia. It's a good idea to see a doctor so see if a medication adjustment is warranted. Carol
I agree with Carol about seeing the doctor. Sometimes elderly people wake up because they have pain, or need to use the bathroom, but often they are confused and no matter what wakes them up, the confusion becomes the problem. When my father began waking up at night we found a baby monitor was a great way to hear him (and thus avoid falls). It helped to quietly go in and greet him pleasantly, and help him to the bathroom. Then, whatever confused thoughts he was having(I need to pack my bag to go on vacation, my friend is here to pick me up, etc) could be addressed. I always told him it was night time, and he needed his rest,but tried hard to be kind about it. They can come up with some doozies at 3AM! My Dad had trouble walking, but amazingly in the middle of the night he would forget all about that and try to go across the room. The monitor helped me keep him safe.
Isn't that something. One night my mom, after having her stroke, forgot she'd had it and got up to go to the bathroom. She fell of course and had to knock the door against the wall to wake someone up in the house. She'd bumbed her head and was on the floor for a while before my sister went into her room.
The next day I stayed the night and had a long talk with both my mom and my sister but I think that scared my mom so terribly bad that she's never forgotten.
Although sometimes at night when I'm in there she will say she's gonna get up and stand for a while. I just say wait until morning mom when it's a little lighter outside and you can see better. She always says "OK".
I am a paid caregiver. The elderly couple I work with have recently gone to 24-hour, in-home care. Nights are IMPOSSIBLE. No matter what time they go to bed (generally 10:00pm) they are up at 11:30, 2:00, 3:30, 5:00... and with a bit of luck they'll stay silent until 7am after that. Here's the kicker; during the day they use the toilet VERY infrequently (neither has dementia, both are ambulatory although with walkers). WHY do they have to poop and pee all night? I am ready to recommend that they have a care-giving service which provides graveyard care in which the caregiver does not expect to sleep. The man is 90, with prostate cancer, and recently suffered a very mild stroke. The woman is 88, has some heart issues, and arthritis.
My Mom has dementia and her doc prescribed her Ambien and it has been a blessing. She goes to bed at around 7 pm and sleeps until 6 or 7 am..We still have a baby monitor to keep tabs on her. We even purchased one that has a camera, so if we do hear something in the night we can see what she is doing in her room and sometimes we don't have to go downstairs. The monitor with the camera has also been helpful when she and Dad are really going at it. I can kind of stay out of it until I see that things are getting to a point where things are going to start flying. Then I step in and calm things down.
My mom-in-law has lived with us for 4 years. She naps alot during the day as soon as she wakes up she thinks its another day. She wakes and sometimes will eat breakfast anytime during the night. It's 3am and she is dressed and at some point during the night was sitting with her bag waiting for the senior bus to pick her up. What do i do to keep her safe?
Ruth1957, Your comments are rude and abusive to the elderly. Legally you should be reported. Many elderly wake at night since as they age their circulation decreases and waking, using the bathroom is natural. Also, many elderly find the daytime heat too much, therefore they rest in the day and do a few things at night. I cared for my mother till she passed away at age 96. She was a joy!!!
formercaregiver: huh? Rude? Abusive? Saying my elderly clients got up so often in the night it was an impossible situation should be legally reported? To whom, I wonder.
I think Ruth's idea that these situations need an alert caregiver who doesn't expect to sleep for the night shift is sensible.
Those of us who have been around a while know what a compassionate, upbeat caregiver Ruth is. I'd love to have her for my husband.
In these forums we feel free to let our hair down and say things we might not say in front of our clients or loved ones, knowing that other caregivers "get it."
Years ago, while hospitalized for months after a car crash, I was literally up all night because my wounds would "act up" when there was no distraction. Exhausted, I'd fall asleep when the sun peeked over the horizon. At 5:30 am the nurses would wake me up for my vitals; at 6:00, doctor(s) doing their rounds; at 7:00 some phlebotomist. When breakfast came, I was too tired to chew. In a nutshell, my bio clock was off and I had no rhythm.
Ruth, you're an angel. If I were in your shoes I'd have lost it already after the 2nd day. And the words out of my mouth couldn't be translated in any language. I'm not, therefore, going to pick on anyone in this forum. ... Because it takes a hero to be a caregiver.
WOW! formercaregiver - my freaking goodness! I am up with the same woman about whom I wrote in 2010 which is when this comment was posted by me. i adore her and will be with her until she dies. Abusive? Reported? Oh my gosh. Obviously you do not know me. At that time, this couple was playing a game which took a toll on all of the caregivers. Getting up at night is 100% acceptable. Getting up 5 or 6 times, drinking copious amounts of water when it's refused during the day, and insisting upon staying up to talk about whether or not my husband likes his job, was abusive to ME. I am their very much-loved caregiver. Well, I was actually the caregiver on duty when the Colonel passed away very peacefully in February 2011. His last words to me were "I love you. You smell good". So, please, PLEASE do not judge another so harshly when you seriously do not know them. I rarely speak out in my own defense, but to be called abusive when I am an eternally patient and devoted caregiver with an un-tarnished reputation just rubs me the wrong way. Please, also, check the date of the comment and then the current status of the caregiver, before indicating that "LEGALLY" someone should be reported for their abuse. I must get off here - blood boiling. Abusive. Wow. Just, wow.
Ruth, I got a huge laugh out of formercaregiver's post. I loved "Legally you should be reported." Hello, Attorney General's Office? I'd like to report a professional caregiver who complained on a public forum that it is hard to get up multiple times a time with her unnamed client.
jeannegibbs and Eddie - thank you for your sweet comments. I apologize for the rant. I actually did not see your comments before I wrote that. You may accuse me of anything - ANYTHING - except abuse. Excuse me, please, for wanting to toss the computer there for a second. I'm okay now.
Hi all! New here. trying to get some info for my 83 yr. old dad with dementia who wakes up all night and sleeps all day! (party all night, sleep all day!) I'm hearing some who use Ambien and am thinking of asking the doctor if that might be good for him. Thank you for this site! It is so welcome as me and my family are just starting this journey of caring for our ailing elderly parents. :)
I have a bit of trouble with the thought of using Ambien in someone with dementia. I have panic disorder that pokes its ugly head up sometimes. When I was having oral surgery, my endodontist gave me two Ambien to take before coming for the procedure. The result -- I was awake, but my memory was totally wiped out for the entire procedure. Time was not anything relevant. The procedure ended as soon as it began in my mind. If my endodontist gave me Ambien to calm me and wipe out my memory for an event, I wonder about prescribing it for someone with dementia. Would every night be a confusion? I don't know, but I have personal concerns.
Something I have found that works with my mother when she is having a night of ups and downs from the bed. I tuck her in, tell her I love her, and give her a kiss on the forehead. She doesn't get up again. Why, I don't know, but maybe it is because she needs to feel secure and cared for. Strangely enough, it also helps me sleep better.
My dad sleeps alot and is cranky when he does not wake up on his own. I wait till he is awake to help him bathe and eat. Breakfast might be at 4 PM, and supper can be as late as 2 or 3 AM. Should I try to wake him up to feed him earlier, or is it best to let him sleep and wake up naturally?
Lilacalani, personally I think following your dad's natural inclinations is fine. It also is not necessary for him to have three meals, unless he is hungry three times. The concern I'd have is for your health. How are you on this schedule? I'd be great -- I have delayed sleep phase disorder and I'd love that schedule. But for many people preparing and serving supper at 3 AM would not be pleasant. So I think you need to work out a routine that honors your father's needs as far as possible while also respecting your own inner cycles.
My mom (age73) wakes up 3 to 6 times at night; she always complains she can't sleep. The doctor (psychiatrist) prescribed her Rivotril 2mg for her insomnia but she has to take only 1/4(of 2mg) of it once daily before bedtime. For her second month of taking the medicine, the doctor increases it to 1/2 (of 2mg) because she still wakes up several times during the night to use the bathroom, she said she hardly sleep. On the first few days of her taking the medicine, she almost falls, luckily she was able to control her (sudden) fall and hold on to the wall while walking. After several days her body adjusted to the medicine she no longer has that tendency to fall. I would be very much grateful if someone can share their personal knowledge of this medicine. I’m really grateful for this website it's informative, I’m glad I’ve discovered it. Thank you.
I don't know about that medicine, but it sounds like the doctor is prescribing it responsibly -- starting at a very low dose and watching the results, increasing by a small amount if needed, etc.
Sleep deprivation can be a serious problem. No one can be at their best getting up 6 times in the night, so treating this is important, in my opinion.
Does she have the urge to go to the bathroom frequently during the day, too? There are medications that address the frequent urge.
My Mom is in an assisted living and latley she wakes up in the middle of the night,thinking it is morning and she showers and gets dressed for the day and sometimes goes down to the dining room. The aids bring her back to her room and she goes back to sleep, could this be dementia starting and sometimes she is having trouble making complete thoughts
Being confused about time of day can be a symptom of dementia. So can having trouble with completing a thought. But I don't think these two symptoms are enough to come to any conclusions. She is in a safe place. I'd keep alert for other symptoms of change, and if there are more dementia-like symptoms perhaps an evaluation would be warranted.
My husband was pretty oriented as to time and place through most of 9 and a half years of dementia, but would sometimes be confused at night. He might get up and go to the bathroom at 3 am and then start dressing and expecting breakfast. Like the aides I'd get him back to bed. He was also confused when he became bedridden at the end. Whenever I'd mention the time (he asked a lot) I would add a clarification. "It is 2:30 in the afternoon. There is bright sunshine today." "It is 5:30 in the evening. Do you want to watch the news?"
Be grateful that your mom is already in a place where she is being looked after. If she does have dementia there may come a point where she needs even more monitoring and a different care setting would be needed. But that may never happen. For now, just be observant. Hugs to you!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Carol
The next day I stayed the night and had a long talk with both my mom and my sister but I think that scared my mom so terribly bad that she's never forgotten.
Although sometimes at night when I'm in there she will say she's gonna get up and stand for a while. I just say wait until morning mom when it's a little lighter outside and you can see better. She always says "OK".
I think Ruth's idea that these situations need an alert caregiver who doesn't expect to sleep for the night shift is sensible.
Those of us who have been around a while know what a compassionate, upbeat caregiver Ruth is. I'd love to have her for my husband.
In these forums we feel free to let our hair down and say things we might not say in front of our clients or loved ones, knowing that other caregivers "get it."
Ruth, you're an angel. If I were in your shoes I'd have lost it already after the 2nd day. And the words out of my mouth couldn't be translated in any language. I'm not, therefore, going to pick on anyone in this forum. ... Because it takes a hero to be a caregiver.
I wonder what the penalty is for that? :D
Something I have found that works with my mother when she is having a night of ups and downs from the bed. I tuck her in, tell her I love her, and give her a kiss on the forehead. She doesn't get up again. Why, I don't know, but maybe it is because she needs to feel secure and cared for. Strangely enough, it also helps me sleep better.
Sleep deprivation can be a serious problem. No one can be at their best getting up 6 times in the night, so treating this is important, in my opinion.
Does she have the urge to go to the bathroom frequently during the day, too? There are medications that address the frequent urge.
My husband was pretty oriented as to time and place through most of 9 and a half years of dementia, but would sometimes be confused at night. He might get up and go to the bathroom at 3 am and then start dressing and expecting breakfast. Like the aides I'd get him back to bed. He was also confused when he became bedridden at the end. Whenever I'd mention the time (he asked a lot) I would add a clarification. "It is 2:30 in the afternoon. There is bright sunshine today." "It is 5:30 in the evening. Do you want to watch the news?"
Be grateful that your mom is already in a place where she is being looked after. If she does have dementia there may come a point where she needs even more monitoring and a different care setting would be needed. But that may never happen. For now, just be observant. Hugs to you!