What level of attention or care should I expect my mother to receive when she has been taken to the doctor, then returned to her facility?
My mom had a recent fall. Her facility transported her to the doctor for a follow up and I accompanied her too. On return to the nursing facility we were not addressed nor was she attended to. I asked for some help and received none. I stayed because I felt uncomfortable leaving her unattended without some conversation with staff first. When I finally asked to speak to an aide directly I expressed my concerns. She explained that an emergency was occurring and that is why we were ignored. We were all in one room, residents and staff. I saw no emergency. I saw employee’s standing in a circle discussing something. No one was doing anything or helping a resident.
I seated my mom, asked where her lunch was, retrieved it and necessary items and the driver got her a drink!
The circle group continued talking. I told them I needed to speak with one of them and it took some time before that happened.
I think at some point someone could have said “we will be with you in a moment, we have an emergency”. I am pretty happy with this facility but this all seemed very unprofessional to me.
When a resident leaves a facility and returns shouldn’t someone take notice or take charge? Or at least say “please wait we will be with you shortly”. This is a memory care facility in a skilled nursing facility.
If you never got along with the care facility or unnecessarily questioned their care plan and expected things to be your way or nothing, then I can understand a reaction like you had.
However, in my case, whenever my Mom went anywhere that was non-pleasure, I was expected to talk to the Head Nurse prior to returning so that I could give her instructions or any changes, especially medication ones, that were a result of the visit.
If everything is done correctly, anything done in plain view of others, should never look like an emergency. A non-routine demeanor get patients worried and anxious.
Prior to bringing back my mother from the hospital, I was texting with the head nurse to give her status of our discharge and any procedures that I wanted happen upon my arrival. Hence, when I arrived, everything was ready for my mother and the transition was smooth and went as expected.
In another assisted living that emphasizes “more care”, my mom returned from 2 weeks of illness and two weeks of hospital stay and there was zero interaction with her for hours on her return. I had made the point of making an appointment time for her return and announced her return when we arrived. I stayed and finally asked for communication. This place I reported to the State ombudsman. He was appalled that the facility had no re-intake policy. I moved my mother asap.
Management and administration should be 'very' professional. If they are not, that is a red flag to you.
Line staff - often they are often exhausted, overworked, untrained or not trained enough / properly. Of course, common courtesy should be a given / required of all staff regardless of their position.
Perhaps your expectations are not in line with facility 'rules and regulations.'
It is certainly possible that there was an emergency that was not disclosed or as apparent as one (you) would think. I likely would be questioning the response too. I would talk to the administrator.
Gena / Touch Matters
I agree that it is common sense to 1) acknowledge the exchange, and 2) assist your mom with the transition. If staff was legitimately busy, the polite and professional thing to do would be to acknowledge your mom and promise to be with you ASAP.
A day at the doctor can be a very stressful and disruptive outing for anyone. Hence, in my view reintegration is worthy of help with the transition "home".
I think that you should expect no special treatment of any kind when returning from an MD appt. Not unless the MD has told you that he is writing special orders he would like delivered to the facility for entry into her orders and care plans, and honestly he should be doing that himself, not using you as a go-between.
I praise them all the time and the staff on a normal basis is very interactive.
This day there was an agency nurse and three different than the usual aides.
The “diet concern” was just to ask for adaptive silverware for my mom. The laundry concern was because they pick up laundry daily, yet my moms was over looked for over a week. It was wet, soiled and overflowing. This happened three times before I took it to the head nurse. So I was patient and tried first to deal with staff. I’m always nice and diplomatic more than I need to be I’m sure.
But I understand your point, don’t make waves at the risk of having your loved one mistreated or booted out.
Always approach with a question. "I just brought my Mom back, is there anything I or someone else needs to do? I complained about Moms laundry. For some reason one of her nightgown was always disappearing. (Yes I checked the roomates closet.) I took pictures of all her clothes when she entered the facility. Would see the Laundress in the hall and ask her if she would be on the lookout. Always got returned.
I really don't think you did anything wrong. If these aides were in a common area their jobs are caring for the residents not standing around talking together. When aides have spare time, they are suppose to interact with residents. Sitting and talking with then or taking them outside. They could of been on break or lunch but I would think breaks and lunch would be staggered so there was always an aide available. Also, taken in an area they are not seen by family members. Likeca break room orba smoke outside.
Later they said there was an emergency.
As far as any past concerns, the “diet concern” was just to ask for adaptive silverware for my mom. The laundry concern was because they pick up laundry daily, yet my moms was over looked for over a week. It was wet, soiled and overflowing. This happened three times before I took it to the head nurse. So I was patient and tried first to deal with staff. I’m always nice and diplomatic more than I need to be I’m sure.
I appreciate your response and I do want to be careful not to complain without reason.
The regular staff is pretty great. I tell that to them and their supervisors often. The day in question there was an agency nurse and three staff from another department.
I think I just got mad at what seemed like people not doing their job or at least saying “sorry we cannot help you right now”.
Thanks for the reply, I just need to let it go.
My expectations of care are definitely high, maybe too high. I just want to know someone is in charge before I walk away, that someone is engaged on some level at least. This would require the staff to communicate which they did not do on this day until I pressed the issue.
I have checked with the administrator. He said there was no emergency. He’s going to watch the video of my interaction with staff that day.
I have expressed concerns 4 times in 7 months. Once because my mother wasn’t doing well, once for diet concerns, once for laundry concerns and now this. I don’t think that is excessive. I have never gone to the administrator before but that’s who was available this time. If I complained every time I wanted to, now that would be excessive.
I realize that the staff are just trying to do a difficult job and they’re tired.
Anything?
IS there anything good?
I can tell you that you are developing an adversarial relationship with this facility.
You in fact MAY be happier somewhere else, and that is what they will soon tell you.
You developing unrealistic expectations and adversarial relationship will hard the person you love most here, and are trying to protect.
Diet and laundry concerns are not crucial, are common in care. Goodness, those mushy canned green beans! That overcooked pasta! Those greasy corndogs! The mix up's in David's clothing ending in Dee's drawer. But that's life in the imperfect world of LTC. This is tough work. This work is mental heavy lifting.
How you react and what your complaints and praises are is up to you. We aren't there. We aren't seeing it. And with a loved one in care we often want someone to be mad at, because grief is just too, too tough. But I would suggest trying to rethink this.
That's my humble opinion.
At my Moms AL we signed her out than in. Place was small so she was seen coming and going. I don't see why an emergency would need all the aides on the floor. If someone dies, the Nurse pronounces the person then contacts the funeral home of choice then the family. The only way an aide would be involved is cleaning up the resident.
I never had to take my Mom out of her nursing home because she used a facility doctor. But I would assume if I did, I would have needed to sign her out and in again at the Nurses station. Either a nurse would take over from there or you would be told to take her back to the room or to the common area. At which time if it had been me, I would have told an aide she was back. Just a thought, I never would have given discharge papers or doctors notes to an aide. They would have been given to a nurse.
What did you need help with when you came back to the facility with your mom?
If there was an emergency going on, then they would have to address that as it was occurring.
Did your mom need immediate assistance with something?
Maybe since you were there with your mom they assumed that you would be helping her. Perhaps, if you weren’t there they would have attended to your mom a bit sooner.
Who knows what was going on? Just because you didn’t see an emergency doesn’t mean that something hadn’t occurred in someone’s room.
Talk about this further with the staff in your mom’s facility. They are the ones that have the answers to the questions that you are asking.
This is all related to how she fell in the first place. I left her and told staff I was leaving. Then she fell within 15 minutes.
At this time she needed acknowledgment, lunch as it was lunch time, a drink, silverware, a chair alarm and feeding. All residents were seated in the dining room, there aren’t very many of them.
Its all well, I stayed and fed her and found the necessary items.
A resident is usually returned to their living when the hospital feels they are fit TO return. I do not know who had the discharge papers? Was that you or the ambulance?
You were told there was an emergency. You saw staff in discussion. There may in fact have even been a DEATH. You were not privy to that information nor should have been. All were aware you were with your mother.
You would have the discharge papers. You should tell staff that you will wait until someone can discuss discharge papers with them.
I would discuss this with the administration of the facilty (SNF?) your mom is in. I am certain that you are feeling taxed just now with a hospitalization and return to facility. I hope your questions will be readily answered.