My partner of 18 years has been in memory care approximately 9 months. His only daughter who we don’t know well took over as surrogate trustee. I am POA and health care living will. She does not want to pay for her dad’s memory care here in Florida. Wants to take him to texas where she is and wants me to sign over my health care to her as she is alternate.
i will never do this moving him would be devastating for both of us. He is settled and comfortable with his surroundings. She wants to move him by June 1st should I pay the money and get guardianship?
I don't know what you mean by Surrogate Trustee actually. I was, when my brother fell ill with Lewy's Dementia, made the Trustee of his Trust. Pure and simple. So I am not knowing much about surrogacy in this definition other than it seems like this would be the successor trustee appointed by a court to act when the Trustor is unable????
You say that YOU are POA.
She here is what we have (other than the need for a GOOD ATTORNEY FOR YOU RIGHT NOW).
You are WIFE and POA. That means that all money that is NOT IN THE TRUST is yours to manage. You need to act at once to get that money into a POA account where you manage ALL THOSE FUNDS.
You also, as the WIFE are the next of kind and are given the MPOA. This means you can place him and decide where to place him.
Now, when he needs more funds those wanting payment for his care will be on the DOORSTEP of that Trustee, and will be wanting any funds that are not in an IRREVOCABLE Trust.
Welcome to the world of BLENDED FAMILY. As Dr. Laura says, it's usually more like a bad salad.
You need an attorney to protect your and your husband's rights and assets. As POA that comes out of Hubby's funds.
I wish you the best of luck. Whatever is drawn into the trust belong to the trust and the surrogate trustee will manage. Whatever is NOT listed as property of the trust (stocks? CD? Annuities? Checking accounts? Savings accounts, etc) is for YOU TO MANAGE, not the surrogate trustee.
GOOD LUCK. Remember when you need EXPERT advice you go to an expert. That's not us. THat's an attorney. You are going to need a good chart. A olumn ne for "This is my power". "This is the Trust's business". Your husband's body, his care, is directed by you. She directs whatever he placed in a Trust (the home, whatever? ) You will note things that belong to the trust because they will clearly say "in Trust".
You know how they always say "this isn't rocket science?" Well, THIS IS. Get an attorney at once.
Know that the daughter would have to be notified by the court that the guardianship is being filed for and she might make a better case for it than you. There is always that chance. Sometimes when it is contentious between family members, the court appoints a guardian that is neither person. You won’t be able to do anything before June 1 but hold firm until you get legal guidance.
Does your pt have the funds to pay for his memory care w/o her involvement, without the trust funds?
Is the trust an irrevocable trust? Does your POA give you any direction on trusts? You need to read it along with a qualified certified, well experienced elder care attorney who also deals with trusts.
Please don’t wait to get an attorney.
And of course, ha ha, it all depends upon the CHILD!
I am partners with someone going on 36 years now. Had two marriages behind me. I MUCH prefer this. But we HAVE worked out all the accounts, paperwork and etc.
After 35 years seems that his kids are kind of like mine and mine kind of like his, but then they are all pretty good kids and we try to be pretty good parents, so that along with steel trap paperwork done by excellent attorneys works quite well. For US at least. And because we both did raise two kids each we have sort of kept it divided out so that our kids get our assets. Eventually. If they can outlive us! ha ha. I will say that I have no trouble with knowing and recognizing my own age (I DO have mirrors), but to have a daughter 62 and a SIL 70 in a few days seems.....................strange. Then, look what happened to Jeff Daniels. One second I am watching him as a young married professor in Terms of Endearment and the next he is looking old enough to ask out! How does this all happen?
I am hoping my partner stays strong enough to make my decisions for me when I can no longer. If not, my daughter is the second. And of course a Trust and whomever is the TRUSTEE of said Trust says NOTHING about who the beneficiary is.
I missed that this isn't a married couple; so thanks for that ZZ. She is still the POA. In CA we have a choice for domestic partners. So my partner and that are that. Doesn't much change my opinion. Our kids go on with their lives and their families. They are grownups. Hopefully we have a good strong relationship to get us through our elder years. But that's a big ask.
I will say, in an instance like this, if the partner of two decades goes to war with a child, the partner ALREADY having the POA, the partner will likely win guardianship, but I will also say it's quite sad there isn't a good relationship between these two after all this time. Blended families are a mess when the ingredients don't meld.
I am so sorry that you are having to fight this battle while losing your partner.
Be sure and ask the attorney about handling the trust for his care and keep. Even if it has to be a third party person, his trust should be paying his bills, even if it is an irrevocable trust.
children of an extended family member who visited for the summer when they were young. I’ve never seen anything like the greed I witnessed from blended family members. This made me immediately put my affairs in order & have notarized. 3 copies later with 1 at my attorneys ofc, 1 in a safe deposit & 1 with me.