My lady is 80. We have been together for 11 years since my wife passed. We met online. My "type" is smart, a bit unconventional, adventurous, and fun.
She is still, most, of those things but her dementia is increasingly taking her away. Misplacing things and quite short memory function.
She can do household and garden things but spends a lot of time doing puzzles. I think that engages the brain and is a good thing, but it is sedentary and encourages no interaction with others.
So, my question is: Is there any activity that YOU have found that engages dementia people into a more outwardly, active participation?
Any suggestions appreciated.
Larry
I wish you luck finding what works, but basically let her now do what she ENJOYS and what brings peace and comfort. You don't need to "find things to do". Normally people tend to disengage, draw in a bit, and be content with sitting with one loved person, discussing their world and the changes in it and their feelings about it, gossiping, cutting roses for the table. That would be my bro. Things slow down. No need to try to "find things". Just relax. Let her be your guide.
Sorry about this, don't forget to take care of you!
Is your lady’s forgetfulness diagnosed by a doctor as dementia? Have you sought advice from your lady’s doctor as to her forgetfulness? If not, now is the time for you to take her to her doctor for evaluation.
Best wishes.
If possible, exercise is key. Good walking shoes as well as music that your loved one enjoys playing the background.
TV should be kept to a minimum. Not too much technology stimulation.
A structured routine is a must, good nutrition and going to bed the same time every night.
The color "lavender" calms them as in a comforter that color along with good lighting. No step in shoes or area throw rugs.
Night lights come in handy too.
It sounds like you are already doing a lot of positive things. Mother used to go to a one morning a week day respite for 4 hours and have speech, occupational and physical therapies. Continental breakfast and a hot lunch were provided. An RN was on duty and I always had them take her blood pressure.
An Up Walker Lite is a big help. Around $500 or so, you can ask the primary care physician for a script, some insurances "may" reimburse you. Just took Mom out for some fresh air and to see the leaves changing, she's sleeping now--Lewy Body Dementia. Vitamin D (some sunshine) and exercise are always a good mix.
I hope I was of some help to you...
Lots of information and you can also call them.
I did on-line webinars with her for 1-1/2 years, many years ago.
It could help you to know which part(s) of the brain are affected as then you will know what areas are compromised - and those that are not.
*** Someone here asked 'why' get a medical evaluation - this is why.
Having more information than less is helpful to you to know how to interact with her. A partner / spouse cannot be educated ENOUGH in these areas.
Consider:
1) acknowledge her; offer reflective listening "Oh, I hear you saying xxx or I hear you saying you feel ... so you want to do xxx") - this gives her space to talk more, express herself more.
2a) Make eye contact
2b) Smile. She may or may not mirror your behavior (as my client did with advanced dementia - I smiled, she smiled).
3) Be/come (more) aware of the senses:
Tactile for one:
Light gentle touches (hands, face, arms - whatever seems right in the moment - and this may / may not change from what you are used to.). Perhaps a foot massage - or a massage from a professional (I am certified). Do research on the value of massage - perhaps for down the road, perhaps for you to learn how to give a 'more' professional massage - (just an idea).
What I've noticed working with a client for 2-1/2 years with advanced dementia who spoke jibberish ... when I said "I love you (her name)" she would smile like a young school girl). They GET IT - even if parts of their brain do not register in a response or type of response we are familiar getting.
4) And, as said here, take care of YOURSELF.
This is very difficult, sad, even a grief filled experience - in slow motion. It hurts. Get the support you need. My heart goes out to you.
Gena / Touch Matters
Activities to Keep person with Alzheimer’s busy
1)Fold a large stack of kitchen towels. There was no "wrong way" to fold them,
2)He can sort and pair a large basket of colorful socks.
3)He can pair nuts and bolts, sort playing cards by suit or numbers.
4) He can put together Lego or Duplo blocks to make something (very simple and no "wrong way" to do it).
5)Looking at photo book of “coffee table” books with large pictures and a little bit of text. Watching DVDs (mostly Disney, Pixar, etc or sports) happy endings and nothing negative/stressful/scary in them. They can read the closed captions of the entire movie out loud to herself. Even if he can’t follow he can be"be in the moment" from the action or songs. It can keep him occupied.
6) fill coin envelopes for the bank
Nancy Hendley’s “At-Home Activities” videos on YouTube.
Link https://www.caringkindnyc.org/activity-videos
Someone asked about the step-in shoes. Basically you don't want shoes with no backs. For example, elderly people need shoes that they are grounded in since with dementia their gait and balance are usually off.
I buy my mother SAS Tripad/Comfort MaryJane Soft Step (jean material) with adhesive closures. Basically, when mother returned home form the hospital she had Edema in both of her ankles--so none of her old shoes fit her properly.
This type of shoe you can adjust the strap. Also, some health insurances will cover this if the person has diabetes or other type of symptoms that this shoe is recommended for.
At first, I had mother fitted at a shoe store and then the next time around I purchased the same exact pair online. The first pair lasted about 4 years or so--good quality, expensive but good quality.
Good fitting is important as well as good slippers when they get up at night to go to the bathroom.
I have an idea that may help you, but it depends on the dementia patients ability. I will toss these ideas, and if they help, great. If not, that’s okay.
I was an elementary teacher before I left that career. I went to visit my mother who lived out of state. I brought items from home. First, I brought a simple, basic coloring book that had large, but simple images to be colored in. I found a Mickey Mouse coloring book, in 2014, but there are far more choices now.
Coloring in between bold lines is a soothing relaxation tool. Joining in yourself and inviting other dementia patients would increase the fun level greatly.
One other idea is to bring a deck of “I Spy” game cards that you can control the level of difficulty by how many card sets you place on the table. I initially made the mistake of using too many cards, but I learned to scale back. Many others in her memory care facility sat at the table with us and this increased the fun factor! Social community through enrichment activities is so very powerful.
Here’s more. I would use 8-10 pairs of same cards. No more. You can share the card objects with them to start. A card with a dog, a cat, a duck, for example, just to prepare them for the game. Let them share the name of the object, which is doubly reinforcing for them. Place the cards out face down, in rows and block formation. The cards are mixed up.
The first person picks up and flips one card, and then their choice of a second card. Have them tell you the object outloud, another auditory sense to reinforce this. If they make a match, show excitement with clapping, or a laugh. Anything positive! If they don’t make a match, reinforce “great try!” And then go on to the next person. Whomever makes a match, keeps the match to their side.
This was a wonderful game for my mother, and the ladies who played with us. So many senses are used which build memory experiences and socialize with others.
I hope this helps! Buy larger, simple card sets which are big, and easy to identify.
AZDesertgirl
One more idea. How about using a couple of red Solo hard plastic cups, face down on the table. Put a soft candy, or a cute, safe item under the cup. I would limit to three cups total. A small object like a shell, a bell, a Barrette maybe. Small, but durable. Hard plastic with no sharp edges, or a cotton ball. Whatever you can find around the house.
Put one item under one of three cups. If three is too hard of difficulty, go with two. Monitor and adjust is a teacher motto which applies here.
Each person can be in charge of which cup and with object to hide, taking control of the game.
You could check with the Park District near you (if you have one) and they may have programs like walking or even swimming that you could both take part in.
I would take my Husband to stores Sam's Club, Costco the carts were large and higher than most and the aisles are wide so it was easy for him to walk. (He was over 6 foot so taller carts made it easier for him)
Walking the store for 30 - 60 minutes was good.
Walking the neighborhood was also done. (with me or a caregiver)
It began to get dangerous to take him in the car. Realized that when I had to get down on the ground to turn his feet while the caregiver got him to sit on the seat. My Husband just couldn't figure out how to sit in the car!)
With dementia Gait becomes a problem so do not worry so much about "physical activity"
You can do things at home that might get her more active.
Toss bean bags into a bucket.
Try getting one of the peddle things that get placed on the floor and you peddle like a bike.
there is no remote control..
you just pedal.. very smooth.
my friend suggested it, so she let me borrow it.
sometimes the ELKS CLUB
or other facilities or churches will hold BINGO NIGHT.
that should be fun, and around other people.
no, you don’t need to use beer… it’s basically setting up some red solo cups. Take a ping pong ball, and try to toss it into a cup from so many feet away.
take her to a book store or library. Library go to gardening section, and maybe check out a couple of books.
do you have a garden center or botanical gardens nearby?
if she isn’t walking so well, get her a gait belt to help hold her up just in case she stumbles.
a small zoo nearby?
there are a lot of good suggestions that have been posted. I’m going to look at the SAS shoes. Hope they have them for men…
they used to be under $5.00 . The more colorful the better.
I got this for my mom and the other residents in the 6 pack.
one time she got frustrated with me. Instead of tossing it, she THREW it at me. Apparently she didn’t want to play anymore.
aquarium, museum, take a ceramics class with her, or just get playdoh .
QUBII stationary pedal while you sit and watch TV.
my friend got hers on HSN I believe or QVC. It’s the best one she got.. it was the BASIC ONE.. no bells n whistles. No remote control.. you are peddling it.. it’s sturdy and smooth.