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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
He wants to be safe. He wants to know you will be there when he needs you. When he says "I need help" try any of these responses. "I love you, you are safe" "I understand you are afraid of what is happening. I get scared sometimes myself" "I need help too, can you help me...." and give him a task to do. fold towels, sort socks, dry dishes...
I agree with Grandma1954 that you just need to reassure him that he's ok and safe, and that you're right there by his side. You know that he will only continue to get worse, so if he's already getting on your nerves, I hope that you have hired some outside help to come in a few days a week to give you a much needed break. Don't forget that you are important in this equation as well, and that you need to take care of yourself. Even if it's just for a few hours a couple days a week, you will be amazed how just getting away from the situation can rejuvenate your soul. My husband(who had vascular dementia)when first coming home from the hospital after almost dying from aspiration pneumonia, and was completely bedridden, would call my name constantly. We live in a one story small house, and I would always tell him when I was leaving the room and for what, but he would still call my name. It too drove me crazy, until someone in my caregivers support group, shared that he was probably just scared, and wanted to know that I was there and wasn't going to leave him. Once I understood that, it no longer drove me crazy, and over time he stopped calling my name so much. And I've shared this on this forum before, but since my husbands death in Sept. 2020, I have heard him call my name several times, and now when I hear it, it brings me comfort and peace. Interesting how something that once drove me crazy, now brings me comfort. Please make sure that you're taking time to do things that you enjoy, as that will help you in the long run on this journey you're on with your husband. God bless you.
From your profile, I feel bad. Your husband seems so young to have so many problems. But it is what it is, right?
I can see why him wanting help and not being able to tell you what he needs is annoying. My mom is similar to that. At least on the not being able to explain what she means front. I just try to be OK with the lack of info and assume that when/if she thinks of what she needs/wants, she'll tell me.
I guess you just have to expect him to say this and try not to let it get on your nerves. He may not mean it literally but doesn't know what else to say or how to explain. If there's nothing obvious that needs doing, then don't worry about it.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
He wants to know you will be there when he needs you.
When he says "I need help" try any of these responses.
"I love you, you are safe"
"I understand you are afraid of what is happening. I get scared sometimes myself"
"I need help too, can you help me...." and give him a task to do. fold towels, sort socks, dry dishes...
You know that he will only continue to get worse, so if he's already getting on your nerves, I hope that you have hired some outside help to come in a few days a week to give you a much needed break.
Don't forget that you are important in this equation as well, and that you need to take care of yourself. Even if it's just for a few hours a couple days a week, you will be amazed how just getting away from the situation can rejuvenate your soul.
My husband(who had vascular dementia)when first coming home from the hospital after almost dying from aspiration pneumonia, and was completely bedridden, would call my name constantly. We live in a one story small house, and I would always tell him when I was leaving the room and for what, but he would still call my name.
It too drove me crazy, until someone in my caregivers support group, shared that he was probably just scared, and wanted to know that I was there and wasn't going to leave him.
Once I understood that, it no longer drove me crazy, and over time he stopped calling my name so much.
And I've shared this on this forum before, but since my husbands death in Sept. 2020, I have heard him call my name several times, and now when I hear it, it brings me comfort and peace. Interesting how something that once drove me crazy, now brings me comfort.
Please make sure that you're taking time to do things that you enjoy, as that will help you in the long run on this journey you're on with your husband. God bless you.
I can see why him wanting help and not being able to tell you what he needs is annoying. My mom is similar to that. At least on the not being able to explain what she means front. I just try to be OK with the lack of info and assume that when/if she thinks of what she needs/wants, she'll tell me.
I guess you just have to expect him to say this and try not to let it get on your nerves. He may not mean it literally but doesn't know what else to say or how to explain. If there's nothing obvious that needs doing, then don't worry about it.