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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
My husband doesn't care. I told him today and he just went to work, didn't say he loves me or a hug. I was there for him when he was sick. Right now I'm so alone and scared.
I am so sorry and sad to hear this. You must be feeling lonely and overwhelmed right now. Do you have a good attorney you can consult? While you may be just fine health-wise in the long run, you should think about making alternate plans for your Mom's care as well as getting all your own "ducks in a row." That way you will not be stressing out while you deal with your own health issues. My husband is the sole person to take care of his Mom and he is currently being evaluated for dementia. I am confident that our attorney can guide us so as to benefit his Mom as well as my husband's possible future health issues and how they impact OUR life and finances. I will be thinking about you and wish you all the best.
So sorry to hear this news. I would defiantly see a specialist ASAP. Better chance of a cure if treated early on. I am sending hugs and prayers your way. God bless you!
You are in no shape to care for your mother anymore. Your husband needs to help you take care of yourself. He cannot take care of himself, you AND your mother. He didn't marry your mother; he married you.
It's time you faced reality that your mother's needs are only going to increase and, now that you have been diagnosed with a very serious disease, so are yours.
While you still have the energy, call in the professionals to help your mother. Call her council on aging or department for the aged or whatever agency deals with senior citizens. Explain that you must step away because you are seriously ill and you can no longer care for your mother.
If you have the ability/resources/knowledge of how to make it happen, get your mom into AL or LTC. You need to focus on yourself. Sadly, your story is common - patient outliving caregiver. I've seen it so many times.
I am so sorry you've received such a scary diagnosis and that your husband didn't offer you emotional support or words of encouragement. That really stinks......he may be too frightened to deal with this right now, so let's hope that was the reason for his behavior and it wasn't lack of caring or concern. Take all of this one day at a time, one step at a time, and don't be afraid to speak your mind to the doctor or get a second opinion. See about putting your mom in respite care, or getting her placed in long term care now as you focus on yourself for a change. If hubby doesn't wind up being supportive and loving with you, see about getting HIM placed elsewhere also. Please take care of YOU!
thank you all .the doctor wants to do another ct scan in 6 months , i told her i don't want I want to see lung doctor now ,waiting to hear from her ,this is my sencit one ,first had two spots an this one has 6 spots .the person who read it remend to do in 6 months. will see.
I don't know a thing about lung cancer, but it would seem WAITING 6 months is NOT a good plan. I'd be seeing a doctor and starting a treatment plan now.
Speak to your doctor about your concerns - he may well be able to advise you of any local support available and if you would be entitled to help re your mums care at this time. Any friends that could help out at all - it’s a rough time coping with such a diagnosis, many have cancer and survive - I’m one of them. And yes, I was caring for my mum at the time. Think you may have to be blunt with your husband and say you need his support and love shown at this vulnerable and scary time - not grunts of going to work. Sure it may pay the bills but does nothing for your emotional state. You need him as your rock just as you were his when he was sick. Men don’t always know what to do if there’s not a practical solution - like work to get money for bills. You need to tell him what you need however obvious it may seem
Jmcleod, I' so so sorry you are going through this trial. If you are not getting the support you need and deserve at home, please contact a church near you, even if you're not an attender or share their beliefs. Let them know your predicament. My small church rallied to help a woman from our community with colon cancer. I drove her newspaper delivery route so she still had income, people brought meals, took care of her son, drove her to her medical appointments, stayed with her during her chemo treatments, and loved on her. Keep contacting churches until you get the help you need. Healing and peace to you!
jmcleod- praying for you. I am so sorry you are going through this. I am glad you came here. There are so many wonderful people here that can be of great support to you. I know it can be so scary and make us feel so alone. But, you are not alone. Look up. Your comforter is there.
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Better chance of a cure if treated early on. I am sending hugs and prayers your way. God bless you!
It's time you faced reality that your mother's needs are only going to increase and, now that you have been diagnosed with a very serious disease, so are yours.
While you still have the energy, call in the professionals to help your mother. Call her council on aging or department for the aged or whatever agency deals with senior citizens. Explain that you must step away because you are seriously ill and you can no longer care for your mother.
Take all of this one day at a time, one step at a time, and don't be afraid to speak your mind to the doctor or get a second opinion. See about putting your mom in respite care, or getting her placed in long term care now as you focus on yourself for a change. If hubby doesn't wind up being supportive and loving with you, see about getting HIM placed elsewhere also.
Please take care of YOU!
Any friends that could help out at all - it’s a rough time coping with such a diagnosis, many have cancer and survive - I’m one of them. And yes, I was caring for my mum at the time.
Think you may have to be blunt with your husband and say you need his support and love shown at this vulnerable and scary time - not grunts of going to work. Sure it may pay the bills but does nothing for your emotional state. You need him as your rock just as you were his when he was sick. Men don’t always know what to do if there’s not a practical solution - like work to get money for bills. You need to tell him what you need however obvious it may seem
will be thinking of you - keep n touch
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”
2 Timothy 1:7
It may be time to place mom and dispose of your husband so that you can focus on getting you better.
Great big hug and prayers sent to you!