We plan to take a road trip next week for a week. My 81 yo mother is on oxygen 24/7 and is somewhat unsteady and uses a walker. We will take a transfer chair in case she needs it. She needs assistance with many things. I will be giving her a bath. We both need to get away but I'm starting to wonder if it's a good idea because by the end of the trip I'll be exhausted and ready for a vacation. Lately she's really been getting on my nerves and i don't want to take out my frustrations on her. Any feedback would be great.
Still, you might be able to enjoy yourself if there's others willing to share the caregiving responsibilities, including keeping grandma in high spirits.
Another option is to tell her you're taking her on a vacation, but that later on you'll be flying solo for about a week or two in order to recharge. She's definitely not going to be happy, but then again she just might understand the need to commune with oneself every now and then.
The word servant hit a nerve because she is very demanding and expects me to drop everything for her. When I get upset and react to her unrealistic expectations, she makes me the problem. Oh well, most of us can probably relate to that!
Smitty
Traveling with someone with impairments is challenging. In the nine years he had dementia I took my husband on many trips -- cruises, Amtrak, the Grand Canyon, Glacier Park, nearby states, guided bus tours. (His neurologist highly approved of this and encouraged it.) I don't regret a single trip. But I also didn't consider any of them a vacation!
As long as you are clear about this is something you are doing for your mother then at least the risk of disappointment is reduced. I had the advantage of a cooperative and non-demanding traveler. But dementia adds its own challenge. Toileting was more an issue for us (he needed assistance, and we were always grateful for unisex bathrooms, but they are not always available) than it will be for you and your mother.
On our final cruise (5 months before he died) I did take our daughter along. It was a very difficult trip, with Hubby having increased mobility problems and declining cognition. I'm glad we had that one last trip, but I don't think I could have survived it without the cheerful help of Daughter.
If you can do this as a "servant" and as a gift to your mother, I think it can be a very rewarding and worthwhile experience. More power to you!
(And how smart you are to have already scheduled a vacation for yourself!)
By the way, I suggest taking lots of pictures of all aspects of the trip. Looking at them later can extend the pleasure of the trip for your mother. And without her demanding comments you can enjoy the trip in a new way!