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Can a dementia patient forget a loved one overnight? My mom has always been able to recognize me immediately. Today, for the first time, I am not sure she knew who I was, though she was kind and talkative. Can their ability to recognize others change that suddenly?

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Yes, most likely she had been declining overtime. Dementia affects the memory, thinking and behavior. Symptoms eventually grow severe enough to interfere with short-term and long-term memory. Support groups and other services are available, you are not alone. https://www.alz.org/help-support/community/support-groups - Alzheimer’s Association virtual support groups + online community/message boa
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If you think that she still remembers you, at least most of the time, it might help you both if you make a habit of saying your name, calling her Mom, even referring to yourself as daughter, each time you first see her. That will help keep her memory fresh, and probably be less difficult for you.
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Msblcb Jul 2022
I think you are right. I visit every day. This is the first time she seemed hesitant about who I was. I will take your great advice. I am learning not to assume anything and to expect the unexpected.
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When I visited my mother this week, she didn’t know my name.

It was the first time that had happened, and even though I knew it would come, it jarred me.

Dementia is SHATTERING. 😩
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Msblcb Jul 2022
It is absolutely jarring. By the time I left, after visiting her, I could give her a big hug and kiss on the cheek. It breaks my heart!
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Msblcb, the problem might be a case of Urinary Tract Infection {UTI]. Such an infection in an older person can cause all type of problems. Your Mom can have a test done at her primary doctor's office or at an Urgent Care. This can be treated.
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Yes, such a thing is possible. The thing about dementia/Alzheimer's disease is that the decline is not linear. The changes aren't the same from hour to hour, never mind day to day. Today your mom could be back in time to when she was 25, a point in time before you were born perhaps, which may be why she's not recognizing you. Tonight or tomorrow she could be at 50 years old, and remember you quite well as her daughter. Then revert back again to 20 or 25 years old, expecting to see those people she knew in her life at THAT TIME. If you keep in mind how your mom's brain is functioning now, it'll be easier to understand why she's acting as she is. Doesn't make the scenario easy, I know, but makes it more understandable.

Good luck to you
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Msblcb Jul 2022
Thank you! I cannot tell you, sufficiently, just how your comments have helped.
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Yes, it is like someone came and pulled the shade all the way down, overnight. My step-mother held very well for several years, then poof, she was totally gone.

We moved her from AL to MC 2 months ago, she is safe and well cared for.
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There were declines that my Husband had that were literally overnight. And I can pinpoint each one.
My Husbands "official" diagnosis was Alzheimer's but I think he also had Vascular Dementia.
With that type of dementia there can be a mini stroke that can cause an "over night" change and depending on what part of the brain was effected by that damage will effect what is "lost". It could be the ability to recognize you, it could be how to use a utensil or how to button a shirt.
So simple answer is yes it is possible.
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Katefalc Jul 2022
My husbands was the same Alzheimer’s/ vascular or “ mixed dementia” he turned 73 on May 6 and died this June 27… 😭
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My mom changed almost overnight. This disease is awful. Even today, although she lives with me, she doesn’t know my name but refers to me by her brother’s name. I respond to it because I know she’s trying to remember my name but just can’t. Every once in a while she will call me by my real name and I’m in shock to hear my name being called. This disease is awful.
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deblarue Jul 2022
Right! after being called by my aunt's name or who ever else so many times, I'm actually surprised when my mom actually does say my name
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At some point many people with dementia get muddled about relationships, as they go through stages of decline. My mother eventually forgot who I was. She recognized me as someone she knew and trusted, but didn't recognize me as her daughter. Sometimes the memories come and go; there are good days and bad days. Accept her for where she is day by day, and try to channel your love for her. Dementia is often called the "long goodbye." You may find that you experience grief at her loss of capabilities. Seek support groups and grief counseling if it will help you deal with being a caregiver for a loved one with this terrible disease.
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Yesterday, my mother greeted me with a paragraph of Word Salad. 😢

2 minutes later, she asked, “Is there a toilet in there?”, pointing to her bathroom. 😩

Both were for the first time.

I walked out of there, praying out loud for The Lord to JUST TAKE HER, ALREADY. 🙏
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Maggiemay1971 Jul 2022
Are you living in my body? Honestly if we didn't laugh, we would cry. My mom did the same thing on Sunday. First hour, as you say, talked up a blue streak about people and places I have never heard of. Then we had a 45 minute potty break - just to pee. Then she told me the aid had to take her eye out to clean behind it the other day. Granted - she does has a prosthetic eye, but she insisted it wasn't "THAT one - they had to take the eye out that she sees out of". 😩
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I remember asking my mom's doctor this same question -- "How could this happen so suddenly?" He said that decline in the elderly often follows a pattern of drop>plateau>drop>plateau rather than a steady downward slope, and I have absolutely found this to be true in our case.

Having said that, within each "plateau" my mom will have good and bad days/weeks depending on how well she's been sleeping, her anxiety level, and who knows what other factors. Some days she's not even sure who SHE is; other days she's having philosophical discussions about Roe v. Wade. The "bad" periods can be upsetting but I've learned (ok... am still learning!) to just roll with whatever the day brings.

Do definitely check for signs of a UTI, as that can cause severe and sudden (and temporary) changes in cognition.

My heart goes out to you... the first time my mom didn't know who I was, I felt absolutely shattered. The grief literally brought me to my knees. Sending lots of comfort and strength to you!
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We rock along real well for awhile and then my mom says something odd that makes me think she's not sure who I am. It's a little jarring the first time it happens, but so far it has come back for her. I suspect that's what you will find too. One of these days I'm sure it won't come back, but at least these little moments prepare us for that eventuality.

The other day we were driving to a doctor's appointment and it was as though my mother was trying to make small talk with a stranger. She said "So are both your parents still alive?" Now THAT threw me for a loop! I poked her and she jumped, so I said "One of them is". She suddenly realized what she had asked and we had a good laugh.

I recently had to remind her of her own name. That's unsettling too, maybe more than her forgetting me. It felt a bit like her identity was drifting away from her.
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UTI?
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Thank you for posting this today. During the past two weeks, I've notice a precipitous decline in my mom. She has just lost all enthusiasm, her appetite is way off, and she is forgetting simple things such as how to end a phone call, which button on the remote is for volume or changing channels. She is still able to toilet herself during the day, but it takes at least 20 minutes to urinate. She forgets names of family members and I can never tell if she is telling me about something that actually happened or that she "thinks" happened.
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Yes, this disease takes you on quite the roller coaster ride. One day I showed up at my DH's MC center while he was eating lunch in the dining room. He seemed unusually surprised to see me as if I were a long-lost friend he hadn't seen in years. Then, with a big grin, he said, "So, tell my friends here, when was the last time we had sex?" I think he was trying to place me in his timeline. He also seemed very surprised when I kissed him good-bye. Next day everything was back to "normal." Occasionally he talks about me in the 3rd person. When he does that, I go along with it and tell him his wife sounds wonderful. ;-) The more you can laugh about, the better it will be for your own mental health. Hang in there.
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I would say about a month. My wife broke her hand and by the time it was healed she had full blown dementia. I was slow to recognize it. But it seemed like less than a couple of weeks it was on a doctors visit they tested her and it all made sense.
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Yes. Just llike that. My mother has lewy bodies dementia. She forgets my name, calls me mister or hey lady. Yes, My mother is not who she was. I remember her forgetting things little by little till one day, she can't talk, feed or use toilet without any assistance to total assistance. I could only tell you. You'll need to understand that her brain is shrinking, you'll need to be her best friend and always tell her. You love her.
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Yes, some day it will happen, and that day will be "overnight".
Doesn't mean that she might not remember you again tomorrow. Sometimes these things come and go and sometimes they are permanent.
Often the elder is aware that this is someone they SHOULD know and they will confabulate, pretending that they do know you.
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Louise4 Jul 2022
This is so very true. My MIL is in in advanced stages of dementia. When a visitor comes over she will chat, make up stories like it happened yesterday. When they leave, she will tell how nice it was to see them again. Then when they leave, she asks me who they are and why we're they were here.
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The only time that has happened with my mom, I realized afterwards that I had walked into her room in MC and just said hello. I didn’t say”Hi Mama” like I usually do. That day, she talked to me like I was a nice stranger who had come to visit and told me I looked a lot like her daughter. Since then, when I walk in, I always say “Hi Mama” as a prompt. I know the day may come when she doesn’t know me at all, but for now, she’s remembered me since that one episode. It’s unnerving for sure. when it happens.
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Yes, it can happen that suddenly and randomly. On any given day, my mom can recognize me at 8am, and then at 12pm, she's calling me by my aunt's name. Then at 3pm, she know's who I am again, then an hour later, she doesn't! It's happening more frequently and more quickly as her dementia continues to get worse.
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After 3 years of not knowing me, one day I walked in and she said..here is my daughter..isn't she pretty? She has a handsome son, too. We talked like the old days, many years in the past...when I left I went home and cried. It meant so much to me she really knew me. That was on a Wednesday, my day off, when I could stay a long time. My next visit, after work on Friday, I was a stranger again...went home and cried again....she left us the following Monday....so thanakful for her final 'gift'...
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After 3 years of not knowing me, one day I walked in and she said..here is my daughter..isn't she pretty? She has a handsome son, too. We talked like the old days, many years in the past...when I left I went home and cried. It meant so much to me she really knew me. That was on a Wednesday, my day off, when I could stay a long time. My next visit, after work on Friday, I was a stranger again...went home and cried again....she left us the following Monday....so thankful for her final 'gift'...
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lealonnie1 Jul 2022
Your mother had what's known as a time of 'terminal lucidity' shortly before she passed, which is quite common. Like you said, her parting gift to you. My condolences on your loss.
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This can definitely seem like a sudden change, but in reality, in the past she may have thought she knew you but wasn’t completely sure in her mind. At this point now, she is starting to forget you or who you are I should say. This is very painful for both you and her, But this will continue to advance now and it will happen quickly in some cases which was the case for me with my husband. This is a very difficult road we travel And I wish you the best. Hugs
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LisaMG7 Jul 2022
I'm surprised being a nurse that you didn't tell her to bring her mom to get a blood test to check for sodium levels and thyroid and also to check for a UTI which is a extremely common reason for an elderly person to suddenly have their memory get worse suddenly.
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Yes, it can happen. However, I suggest that you take her for a trip to the doctor to have her checked out.

My mother 2 weeks ago, woke up one morning and said she couldn't walk. Just the previous day, she could lift her legs and move them. She could still pedal on her own on the exercycle, but it was more work than normal. I thought we had progressed to another level of dementia so I decided to wait it out. One week later, no progress. She was resigned.

My Mom has severe arthritis and hasn't had xrays for awhile so I emailed the doctor and he ordered xrays.

I don't know how they did it, but they also did a urinalysis.

Verdict: UTI

Within 1 day of Cipro, she could stand on her own. Within 3 days, we are nearly back to where she was before she said she couldn't walk.

About 9 months ago, my Mom had bloodwork done and it showed low levels of thyroid. After going on a very low level of thyroid medication, in about a week, her ability to speak and her overall memory improved.

I would go to the doctor and tell him what is going on and see if he offers any help. It could just be a progression or it could be amiss that medicine can help.
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LisaMG7 Jul 2022
Yep! That's what I'm talking about, what chopped liver said.
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There can be the reasons besides dementia such as stroke, sudden vision or hearing changes, UTI or other acute illness. Unlike dementia these are fixable, especially if diagnosed and treated ASAP. They can also trigger acceleration of dementia. Last week was the first time Mom (95) didn't know my name, although she has been mixing up the rest of the family for 2 years. At least she called me by my younger daughter's name! ( She's half my age, I'll take the complement.)
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Any sudden decline can be a sign of something else. I wouldn’t accept a sudden change as “normal, oh well, I can’t do anything about it”.

Sometimes one truly can’t do anything about it. But sometimes sudden decline is caused by a treatable problem. Please get it checked out.
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I've often heard that putting family pictures around the patient can be comforting when they come in from the abyss.
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Msblcb Jul 2022
I know that pictures work. I created 8 x 10 black and white pictures of many of her relatives and framed them. We hung them on the walls of her room. There must be 15 of them. I used a p-touch and labeled each with how the person was related and their name. She has really loved it. I find her looking at the pictures when I go to visit her. Really great suggestion.
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Msblcb: Although my late mother was never diagnosed with dementia, she went from being a very lucid person to a woman who asked "Why haven't you called me?" That was three minutes after having chatted with her on the telephone.
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Yes it can happen that fast. I had been with my dad for 3 hours in the lounge at the nh. He wanted to go to bed so they took him to his room. I went into tell him something and he forgot who I was. Then two days before he passed we had a family reunion for him at the nh my husband went to get him and he didn’t remember him and then he didn’t remember me. Eventually it did come back to him. He did remember all his nieces and nephews and he hadn’t seen them for a few years. It’s very upsetting but you just have to know in your heart that they know who you are and they still love you and you love them.
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When trimming mom's toenails one day she asked me how many people I do that for. Just you, I said. She asked my name. Nanette, I said. She said now that's funny. I have a daughter with that name too.

It seems we go along day to day and she likely doesn't know who I am, but she doesn't let on. I get a glimpse of her dementia though at these odd times like pedicures.
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