My oldest sister was appointed POA by my mom who barely survived a stroke and has been in a nursing home for 5 years. My mom did the paperwork before the stroke. She has been taking a rather hefty monthly salary ($1000 per month) and has also been driving my mom's (then, fairly new) car for 5 years (saving herself hundreds of $$ in car payments each month), justifying that she deserves it for all she is doing to help care for my mom and deal with the bills. My other sisters and I are worried that this has gone on too long. We want the POA to stop paying herself, but she just thinks that all we care about is the money. We care just as much about my mom as the POA, but feel that this large monthly salary has gone on long enough (actually too long), especially since my mom is fairly stable and in a nursing home. We were all together (4 of us) just a month ago, and tried to talk about this, but the oldest sister is not being transparent with the finances, and decided to have a lawyer write us a letter when we started asking questions rather than answer us herself. Clearly it was an attempt to pacify us. We just want her to stop taking money out of my mom's estate. Two sisters live near to my mom, and two are further away. I'm one of the further away ones. Any suggestions?
I did pay Mother's POA $500 for 2 months, because it was a lot of work. But that is all.
Revoke that POA and name someone else. I would think that your sister should be charged with embezzlement.
Would you or another sister wish to help lessen the load and take over being medical and financial POA? Bet your POA sister would enjoy the break of doing this for five years.
Jessie and Chicago are right - check the document, If it does not specify that a salary of a certain amount is to be paid to the POA, then, basically, and I hate too say this, the POA is stealing from your mother's estate. You need to see a lawyer - maybe legal aide if you can't afford one - and have this stop. Now as well as the $1000 a month your sis has become secretive about the estate and more controlling about visits to your mum. It all which smells very fishy to me! can the sis's get together and pool resources to have a few sessions with a lawyer? Is there any danger of your mum running out of money so she cannot support herself? This is not good.
If I was that sister who has the POA, I would quickly hand it over to the rest of the siblings... let them see first hand that being POA isn't as simple as it sounds. I assume one would need to drive Mom to the doctor, dentist, etc. and if like in my case I use my parent's car because my Mom is at a point where it is too difficult for her to climb up into my vehicle. Plus attend monthly meetings at the nursing home to have an overview of your Mother's care. Plus make sure there is enough money to pay for the nursing home, and any misc items that your Mother needs, etc.
The problem with actually asking my mom if she would be okay with all this, is that she had a fairly severe stroke and does not always answer in what may seem to be a logical way. I have asked her questions, and gotten a smile with a yes nod, when I would have expected the answer to be a no. My guess is that the POA sister began paying herself shortly after we sisters discussed it, not because my mom had given permission.
As for taking on the responsibilities of the POA. Me and my other 3 sisters have certainly jumped in whenever we can, and certainly whenever asked. We travel and visit whenever possible. The POA sister lives closest and tends to like to do things herself. I don't believe monthly meetings are attended but I do not know everything.
Compensation for decision-makers, gift-giving, and any beneficiary changes must be outlined in the POA document. One common question people have about POAs is whether or not someone is allowed to be paid for being making decisions for an injured loved one. Fricker says that any compensation must be outlined in the document ahead of time to be legal. She advises older adults who are considering appointing someone to have POA to think about including a provision that allows that person to be paid for their services. "Offering to pay a chosen POA is a way to incentivize them to take the extra time and care necessary to literally be in charge of another human being," she says.
Your sister should return to her mother's estate any money she has not spent directly on your mother's care i.e. drawn for her own expenses/use. Some people think of it as spending their inheritance in advance. There is no legal way to do that as POA.
Remember in the process to take no prisoners in the pursuit of your goal.
Having said all that -- I did start to compensate myself about 8 months ago now. That was about 3 years into taking more and more on for my mother. I researched average hourly wages for daily management, and it's quite a large range, so I stay near the bottom end of the spectrum. I keep timesheets with all of my tasks spelled out (it's also a bit of a journal, a log of everything that's going on).
This job requires a lot of good judgment, which is not always easy. I bet we were all pretty much thrown into this role without little to no instruction. I've learned SO much from the people on this site--don't think I could do what I need to do without you all!
So, just saying...
And I suspect if mom had a stroke 5 yrs ago, she may no longer be able to draw up a new poa. So her old poa is it, or, a judge would appoint a guardian (who could be someone totally unrelated--especially if all.the kids are fighting).
The lesson I take away from your post, is everyone needs to understand the laws of their own state, and clearly state their wishes in their poa, medical directive, etc. If the attorney is glossing over the details, find a new attorney.
In our office we encourage agents to draw compensation and we point out that an agent's compensation is considerably less than it would cost for a guardian appointed by the court, but we draft the appropriate employment agreement and make certain the arrangement complies with Pennsylvania law in every other respect, and that other family members are aware.
But it all depends upon the law in your state for each state has it's own law on POA's. In our state, Pennsylvania, if there is some evidence the agent is abusing their power, then there are two alternatives. The first is to call the county agency on aging and report elder abuse. The second is to petition the court for the appointment of a guardian to take over the affairs of the principal. You should consult with an attorney in your state and your area before you do any of these because there is no guarantee who the court will appoint as guardian. Also, in some states the beneficiaries of the estate may bring a citation for an accounting of the agent, and it depends upon state law.
The take home message is that you need to consult with an attorney familiar with the laws of your state, because every state's law is different.
Here is one case, which involves a POA receiving compensation, which has Q & A from SSA in 2009, and it was resolved that the POA was not doing wrong:
https://secure.ssa.gov/poms.nsf/lnx/1507210026