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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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You should be truthful with your mother about what is known, yes, if that's what you mean. It is her information, after all, and her life that's affected.
But if you'd like to say more about the situation you're faced with, perhaps we can suggest how to put it so that she benefits from the knowledge and isn't frightened by it.
Yes. Honesty is best. I would do this with your Doctor. My brother was aware of his probable early Lewy's Dementia diagnosis. He said that while he was not happy with the fact of it, he was happy to have the information if this is what he would have to deal with, and relieved to know the ways in which his b rain perceived the world differently.
Yes, though if she is not aware of it, she also may not remember after you've told her. The world can get very confusing to her, so a calm explanation will help her realize what is happening. Everyone is different with this, so be prepared that she may not believe you.
My mother asks me if she acts like she has dementia. The fact she ASKS makes me know she has more lucid moments.
I say "Well, we all have memory issues, mom, I know it's frustrating. Maybe you should bring this up with the dr."
She never does, and we just deal with her fairly gently....yes, she has some level of cognitive dissonance, but what's the point of telling her she has it and it's noticeable? She forgets as soon as you say something.
Yet she makes fun of those people she knows who do obviously suffer from a higher level of dementia, like the fact she can do a puzzle makes her 'better' than them. That's the only part of her memory lapses I can't handle.
My Luz ask me "what is wrong with me" and I told her. She seemed to understand at that time. Who knows what she knew months later. I do know that later she would come to me for hugs and such. I like to think that it helped both of us to take care of her. She was never difficult with me. Still she did things that did not work like they should, like pouring a cu of coffee. But we worked around all of them . Some times we would cry together or just hug and I would tell her it was okay and I would take care of it. And I did.
You haven't provided any information. How do you know she has dementia? Has a neurologist determined that? Do you suspect that? Has she undergone a comprehensive evaluation; an MMSE test? Bloodwork to rule out anytreatable conditions? an MRI or CAT scan? If that's all been done and dementia is determined, why didn't the dr. tell her? I think it's immoral for a dr. to put the onus on the family. If she hasn't been seen by a neurologist, that's your first step.
Would you tell her if she had cancer? Heart disease? MS? I'm sure you would. Rather, I'm sure the doctor would. Once diagnosed. a treatment regimen would begin. But those diseases don't have the stigma that dementia has. And because of that, and the fact that most dementias have no treatment or cure, some doctors don't have the guts to tell the patient, afraid of the reaction by the patient and/or family.
I'm sorry this obligation has been placed on you but yes, you should tell her. Many people live a fruitful life in the early stages. Encourage her and support her to live as normal life as she can.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
But if you'd like to say more about the situation you're faced with, perhaps we can suggest how to put it so that she benefits from the knowledge and isn't frightened by it.
I say "Well, we all have memory issues, mom, I know it's frustrating. Maybe you should bring this up with the dr."
She never does, and we just deal with her fairly gently....yes, she has some level of cognitive dissonance, but what's the point of telling her she has it and it's noticeable? She forgets as soon as you say something.
Yet she makes fun of those people she knows who do obviously suffer from a higher level of dementia, like the fact she can do a puzzle makes her 'better' than them. That's the only part of her memory lapses I can't handle.
I like to think that it helped both of us to take care of her. She was never difficult with me. Still she did things that did not work like they should, like pouring a cu of coffee. But we worked around all of them . Some times we would cry together or just hug and I would tell her it was okay and I would take care of it. And I did.
I wish you the best.
Would you tell her if she had cancer? Heart disease? MS? I'm sure you would. Rather, I'm sure the doctor would. Once diagnosed. a treatment regimen would begin. But those diseases don't have the stigma that dementia has. And because of that, and the fact that most dementias have no treatment or cure, some doctors don't have the guts to tell the patient, afraid of the reaction by the patient and/or family.
I'm sorry this obligation has been placed on you but yes, you should tell her. Many people live a fruitful life in the early stages. Encourage her and support her to live as normal life as she can.