He’s recently discovered online porn, and since we don’t have a sex life anymore due to his physical problems, I’ve pretended not to know about his online activities, but I’ve been keeping an eye on them. Lately I noticed he’s been looking at the category called “teen porn” which thoroughly disgusts me. I’ve read that supposedly these young women are over 18, but still this is disturbing. Am I overreacting or should I cut off his access to porn altogether? He hasn’t been diagnosed with dementia.
If he's exhibiting signs of dementia, get him to the doctor for a full medical and cognitive exam.
In the meantime, perhaps you might go back to pretending not to know about this and maybe just actually DON'T look. I assume this is out of character for him and if so, realize that this may no longer be "him" but a sign something is wrong with his brain.
So sorry you are dealing with this difficult situation. Best of luck.
However, child porn will get him a STIFF SENTENCE in the slammer if his computer gets taken and he is convicted. If this crosses state lines we are talking federal and FBI stuff here. They could be at your door any second
SO
What I fail to understand is your not speaking with him about this AT ONCE?
The sites your DH are watching can be 'gateway' sites. In the gate, ready to be herded to money making sites. Teen (or other) may be lures for easy blackmail making money.
From what I've read, just like much online content, *suggestions* will be made: 'You may like this?'.
Heck I once looked at mocassin slippers on sale & was bombarded for years for adds for them (until I got an ad blocker).
I looked at wooly slippers, got herded to wooly socks, then fur socks & before I knew it was looking at possum fur socks in New Zealand! (Just $40 or so a pair, just a click away)
I'd be VERY carefully looking at the bank statements, looking at any unusual spending on joint accounts.
Try an open an honest discussioon on online spending, the dangers of getting carried away, taken advantage of etc.
Are there other alarm bells? To behaviour or mood?
Memory problems are not the only sign of changes of concern.
I WOULD block the "teen porn" that is just looking for a knock on the door from the police.
Now the big question also is...Is his visiting these sites costing you money? (Is he paying for any of the sites?) If so then it is YOUR money as well as his that he is spending and depending on the amount of money that he is spending you might want to put a stop to it.
(Buy a few videos/DVD if he really needs them. Video/DVD would be a 1 time expense)
Important thing is that must discuss.
You don’t want him interacting with anyone through said sites though.
Here is a list of symptoms of FT Dementia
Behavior and/or dramatic personality changes, such as swearing, stealing, increased interest in sex, or a deterioration in personal hygiene habits
Socially inappropriate, impulsive, or repetitive behaviors
Impaired judgment
Apathy
Lack of empathy
Decreased self awareness
Loss of interest in normal daily activities
Emotional withdrawal from others
Loss of energy and motivation
Inability to use or understand language; this may include difficulty naming objects, expressing words, or understanding the meanings of words
Hesitation when speaking
Less frequent speech
Distractibility
Trouble planning and organizing
Frequent mood changes
FTD is difficult to diagnose and often goes undiagnosed.
Here is a link to the whole article:
https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/dementia/frontotemporal-dementia
We had a family man in town get arrested by the FBI for buying child porn on his computer. They had a sting going on and caught the man selling the porn out west. They were able to trace the buyers and found this man here on the east coast. Better find a way of shutting those sights down.
P.S., his credit card will show a fictitious name.
The other way is of course through plain old social media. They’ll take your money like any scam.
The risk of just looking through pornhub is low as long as he understands these to be dirty pictures for free.