My dad's caregiver who also lives at his house (she's not 24/7 however) wants to have friends or her partner over whenever she likes.
The only issue I have is that he has not yet had the vaccine (nor has she) and he is a high-risk population.
I don't live in the state so it wasn't until the other caregiver made me aware of this that I sent an email to let her know she can't have guests over.
Now she is very upset and sending me long messages in protest.
Do you think it's unreasonable to ask her to not have guests until he is vaccinated and his doctor gives clearance?
I remember your original post about it because I commented on it.
In the original post you were upset because the live-in caregiver goes out or sees people when the other caregiver is on duty with your father. You also did not mention her having company or her partner over when it is her work time.
She lives in the house which means it is her home. In your original post you expected her to be prohibited from seeing her partner and other people even if she is careful about Covid safety precautions.
Nearly everyone who commented on your original post agreed that she has to be vaccinated against Covid, and that you really have no right to order an adult to see no one and go nowhere.
I believe it was also explained well enough to you that we no longer have slavery or indentured servitude so you can't expect or command that your "loved one's" care be the sole purpose why a caregiver lives.
You should count yourself lucky that the caregiver stays and is only sending you emails in protest. If I was working for someone who made such demands of me I would leave that job without warning or explanation. The caregiver only owes for the services they are paid for. They do not owe you or your father anything else.
"My father's caregiver lives outside the house with a boyfriend who does not follow social distancing and other CDC guidelines. I have been in touch with the boyfriend and he said he would follow them but he does not appear to be. The caregiver is great and I don't want to bring in yet another new person right now during this crisis, especially as my father has dementia and an unfamiliar face would not be good.
Not sure what to do as I am worried the caregiver's boyfriend's irresponsibility could bring in the virus."
OP cannot dictate lives which I guess others think she can. Amazing.
If this caregiver is really pushing to have others over to visit no matter who they are, then you need to decrease her hours so she can have the "needed" time off to be available for them or... she needs to quit this job. She has to decide how important it is to be "with them" and her job as caregiver. Sounds like she wants to kill 2 birds with one stone and this is NOT acceptable.
When others are around, she will not have her attention on your needs? Now... another option is this.... I don't recommend it -----try it and see how she is. She is there to be there for you (and being paid for this) while wanting to give/get attention from others? You might do this but lower her wages. She probably won't like that but.... less attention to you, less wages.
Would you really be okay with the idea that you are completely isolated in your own home because your employer says, no visitors?
This OP actually contacted this caregivers previous housemate, when she did not live in her dads house and she reprimanded and tried to dictate what this person was doing in their own home. This is craziness.
I want to point out that all of this action is being taken because of hearsay of the other caregiver.
Please clarify if "whenever she likes" would be ANY time she feels like it or any time she is off the clock?
ANY time I would have an issue with, since that would include working hours. THAT I would stand my ground and say NO to.
Any time when she isn't working, well, you are in a tough spot. As a tenant, she has rights too. Would she go visit the BF and other friends on her time off? She isn't restricted from going out, right? She could get exposed almost anywhere.
The chances for exposure might be higher if many people are parading into your dad's home, but understand that this care-giver can arrange all her friend and BF visiting elsewhere and still bring the virus in. She could pick it up anywhere she goes outside the home, not just from friends or family. She's not restricted to the house, right? Your other care-giver could bring it in anytime too, having picked it up from her family, a friend, another care-giver job she has, shopping, etc. You can't restrict their activity when they're not in your home (or not on the clock), so...
For me, there are too many questions to be answered.
Does she have her own "area", like an in-law suite, or does she get a BR to herself and the run of the house, bathrooms, kitchen, etc? In-law suite I would have less issue with visitors - that would be like your other care-giver, who goes home to another building.
If it is all "shared" space, would she keep visitors to a minimum and stay in her room as much as possible? Or is she having multiple people over, for tea or beer parties?
Would she be having guests whenever she pleases or during down time?
Would she be having multiple people and/or parties in dad's place? THAT should be a big NO, and likely should have been in ANY tenant agreement signed - can't say if it's legal or not, but if you're renting a room, you shouldn't be allowed to have big parties in the house proper, space you are NOT renting!
I would honestly recommend having your "agreements" reviewed by an appropriate attorney, unless one did this prior to the arrangement being signed. Without knowing the details or the laws in your state (or the fed laws), we can't advise other than to suggest having a good review of the agreements. It does sound a bit like maybe violating Fed rules on employment and compensation (over a very low $ amount, you ARE the employer, so you'd be required to deduct and pay Fed/State taxes, FICA, SS, have a Workman's Comp policy, and perhaps provide medical insurance? LEGAL ADVISE you need to seek! THIS could be a bigger issue, should you push this care-giver/tenant too far.
As for having visitors, again, those who work in facilities go home to family, out shopping, everyday activities that can't be avoided. Same as for your secondary care-giver. How does one know what these people or their family/friends are doing during their "off" time? You're not local, so you can't check. The other care-giver isn't there all day, so who knows what goes on in the house during the hours no one else is around? On some level we do need to be trusting, but also maintain some kind of restrictions, like only one visitor, during off-hours, keeping away from dad whenever possible, wearing masks, washing hands, etc. You can ask, but will they comply? How would you know?
The job is to care for an elderly, at-risk person, and that requires a level of responsibility both on and off work. This person is at-will and can be terminated, with or without cause. She's also free to get another job (i.e., it's not slavery). I'm not sure why there are people on here that think it's totally OK to endanger someone's life because, Freedom.
I'd expect a live in caregiver or nanny, who received room and board as part of their employment, to move out promptly when terminated. There might be a contract clause that pays a specific move out amount based on length of service.
I would think that a separate tenant agreement would be an undesirable alternative. Even without special covid rules, tenants have rights that make getting them out a time consuming process. Where do you put the new caregiver while waiting for your (separate contract) tenant's notice period and appeal process to play out?
to non-payment of rent and there are certain things the renter has to do in order to qualify for the protection.
My family had live-in help for my paraplegic mother when I was growing up. The care giver's family could certainly visit and they spent a certain amount of time in our home. We might have limited visits if there had been a pandemic going on, but we did not have to deal with that problem. It seems the risk to an older person if he or she contracted COVID, legitimizes sunbrooke's concern about visitors.
Think for a moment about caregivers in facilities. Their employers are not limiting or restricting this way. Those facilities Would not have any employees if that were the case. And the state labor board would be in there in no time with a laundry list of employee complaints and legal charges.
This is a dilemma. The caretaker is not a machine you can put away until it's time to work again. It would be generous of you to allow even vaccinated guests, but it might be a reasonable solution.
I would love to hear how others deal with this problem of caretakers and other people in and out of the house during COVID.
Remember the COVID vaccine is experimental and administrators should inform you of the risk before giving you one. If you have any issues with the first one, do not get the second one.
Family Needed all of your points about the vaccine are very valid.
But, since she is also a Tenant there, you could allow her to have her boyfriend over as long as they stay in her bedroom.
Make it clear that her boyfriend is only allowed to be at the house when she is off the clock.
You could request that she waits for your Dad to get his shot.
Covid adds another confusing factor to the situation.