My husband is in his 50's and both his parents have Alzheimer and dementia. A family meeting was set up with the kids and his moms brothers and sisters. It started off to be where my husband had control of his parents (he is the oldest), but after we left the meeting and went back to our home time 4 hours away. The siblings of his mom got together again and her youngest brother took over the parents made up legal papers that we did not know about and got my husbands daughter to be the caregiver without any knowledge to us. So the question is as my husband being the oldest sibling does he not have the rights over his parents then the mothers siblings? And if so, what can we do about it?
Talk to an attorney about your options. Btw, being the oldest child does not make any difference as far as the law is concerned.
Who has their powers of attorney? At the meeting was anything put in writing? Did his parents sign any paperwork?
Shame on his family for pulling the rug out from under him.
Yet your brother has asked you to step in and "help out:" only in the caregiving capacity and does not incude you in any other aspect of your parent's lives.
Not even, in the choice of clothing or food tht is purchased with their finances.
This is after, you have spent your while life doing nothing but giving, giving, giving and trying to endlessly please your oriental father who will alwys favor his number one son who by the way, did nothing for his dad until close to "the end".
the "gallant" one though all these years he has done nothing for his parents. By the way I have two educational degrees 25 years in a professional job and he has a HS diploma. But, he does have a strong, dominant, bullying smoothtalking personality. He does sell cars.
With my father who thinks it is personal property and at age 82(when my grandmother died, we did not even know where her will was) has decided not to tell anyone, (I know I am the default caregiver as I am the only sibling living close) so nobody knows.
In the case of the 86 year old, I am the default caregiver for 7 years, because I lived with her son and lived in the building. In their case, the oldest Sib changed the trust, so that if anyone disagrees with the trust or will they will forfeit their share.
Isn't fair since youngest Sib remodeled kitchens and bathrooms, cut grass for thirty years, flooded basements, Dr. appointments, etc. and took care of both parents father had RA and died of prostate cancer, the last being the mother an 86 year old with dementia/Alzheimer's.
Of course HE(oldest Sib) DIDN'T LET IT BE KNOWN, that he got his mother to initial the clause and therefore changed the will pre-emptively with no notice or POA, at the time and of course when the time came, did nothing for the care or diagnosis care of his mother(our 86 ear old).
There is no lawyer willing to help us, of course money would help, and you wonder why there isn't something on the law books to prevent this...after all Greed is hardly something new, he also was slow on getting a diagnosis, too...
Why is he trying to prevent you from visiting or calling? Have their been incidents that have upset Dad?
A little more background information would help.
If you have POA you can go back over ride & revoke all the crap they just pulled.