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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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I, and many others here, started off caregiving to try and keep someone out of a nursing home. As time went by, we cut back working to part time because the demands grow worse as a caregiver. Then maybe you are forced to move in to save money and time. Then you had to stop working totally to be home 24/7. I was paid for 37 hours of work a month, even though I was required to be home all the time.
Most people need to work to support themselves, and caregiving will force you out of a job sooner or later. If you think caregiving for free is what you want to do, great! If I need to be paid to take care of someone because I am not wealthy , there is nothing wrong with that either.
I strongly believe that family caregiver should be paid. It helps dignify an often thankless task. It is a fair and legal way for the care recipient to spend down assets/income in case Medicaid is needed in the future. It helps even out the division of the estate if some siblings help and others do not. And it gives the care recipient the dignity of paying their own way.
How much? List all the things you do. Do you manage medicines? Prepare meals? Provide transportation? Does your father need 24/7 supervision? Do you help with showers, dressing, hygiene? Make a list as complete as you can, then see what it would cost to pay the going rate in your location? iwentanon says the rate in her area is $15/hour. Holy cow! That is a real bargain compared to here! You don't have to get an exact amount, but try to find out a ballpark estimate.
Should you charge that much? Perhaps, if your father can truly afford it. Many people would charge less to their parents, because their parents can't afford the local going rate.
Whatever you charge, draw up an agreement specifying what you are providing and what you are charging. Pay income tax on the income. It might be worthwhile having an attorney who specializes in Elder Law help you with this, especially if there are other family members who might try to dispute this and/or if Medicaid may be needed someday.
If you are not doing the caregiving in love, no amount of money is worth the sacrifices you will be making. If you are doing this because you love your father and you feel this is what will be in his best interests, then you should be compensated as well as your father can afford it.
geedeeooo, I don't know that there is a good tutorial for using these forums. Most of us learn by trial and error. Those who have used other forums probably pick it up faster, but we all go through a learning curve.
To search for a topic, go to the "search site" box at the top right of the page (with a magnifying glass next to it.) Type in the topic you are interested in and click the magnifier. In this case you might type "compensation for caring for parents." or "parents paying for care" or anything similar. You will get a list of posts that seem to match that topic. You can select only articles (by experts), only questions, only discussions, or look at the entire list. As you scan through it you will probably see that many of the items aren't exactly what you wanted. That's OK. Just like on the ones that seem most interesting.
If you don't get as many items as you would expect, try rewording your search. Keep the topic you type short but with enough words to narrow it down to your interest. "Caregiving" is way too broad! "caregiving bipolar parent" is better.
Since it is very common for similar questions to be asked over and over, seeing previous questions and answers may be helpful and may also help you decide how to present your own questions.
It is OK to ask the same questions others have asked. The population on these boards is always changing and you may get different perspectives now. Your situation may be slightly different and you can explain that in your question. Maybe after you read some of the earlier questions and answers you won't need to ask the same question again but it will move you down the road a bit and you'll want to ask another related question.
Searching is good and helpful. Don't feel you are using the forums incorrectly if you don't always do a search before you post. Do it if it seems beneficial. That's what this site is all about -- helping each other.
Taking care of my father didn't cost me hardly anything at all. He paid for his medication and that was it. He was my father. He took care of me for 18 years and never charged me a cent! Why should I charge him? He fought in 2 wars for the freedom I enjoy. He needed me in his last years and it was an HONOR to care for him!
Charles, you are exactly what we all aspire to, and why we all feel guilty. Somehow, it isn't this easy for others. May I ask, are you married? Children? Is your father a dear man who loves you and in his eyes, you know it every moment? Your father cared for you 18 years, that means you are very young. Is he a lot older or perhaps a younger-old? I want to surmise that your father still puts you first in his heart, as you do him. You are blessed among caregivers. Can you appreciate that your answer is a very black-and-white answer that has caused others, whose complex existence you cannot know, to tear their hair out tonight? It SHOULD be that simple, but it isn't. I feel guilty because I cannot do what you do. I have no children. However, I do have a lot of mental illness in my family. Did you ever have multiple suicides in your family? My father is a WWII Nuclear Occupation vet, a very cool and happy man for whom I pay over $40K/year to keep my marriage happy. Were I to move in with him, or move him with me, it would kill my marriage (my husband is 82 with his own problems). Can you get that the blessing you have with caring for your father, is a rare blessing. I cared for my mother in law in the manner you described from her age 90 to 100. Now my Dad needs that kind of care. How do you think I feel when my husband does too? How about people in their 40s still raising kids? How about people in their 50s who lost their 401Ks, live 2000 miles away. Please have some sensitivity. You are definitely a good son, we all envy you. Please understand that others are bleeding worse than you.
The going rate is 15.00 an hour. If your father owns his own home, and only collects SSecurity, cash and counseling program in IL, programs elsewhere will have the same name or so, the depart of aging should be able to direct you.
One of the biggest crimes in addition to abuses of the elderly are the abuses to the FAMILY CAREGIVER who is doing the job, but not getting paid, because of sibling rivalry.
We have entered the 2 and 1/2 yr. mark of having made a report of financial exploitation and neglect (catholic charities elder abuse) of siblings and despite some circumstances of siblings putting her in AL (when she needed more) against her will.
She continues to do well, has gained her weight back, is in a stable environment, enjoys most of her life that she had prior to her diagnosis.
AND we still are unpaid family caregivers and have lost our savings, after 7 years of taking care of we are NOW asking to get paid from the estate, they (siblings) made her sell her two flat house and we (she 86/ALZ and us) are now in an apartment for 1 and 1/2 years. They do give her an allowance (the court), but we need to pay our bills, too!
Why do family caregivers always get a bad rap? Like were sucking down beers and spending the SS check! GET REAL and all mothers sit and eat bon-bons, too! Remember that fallacy?
What Jeanne wrote about asking the questions we've seen on the group before is true. If we didn't answer questions that were asked before, we wouldn't answer anything. There is very little that has not been discussed before. When I see the same question I know that a person needs to be heard. I know that I did (and still do).
An acquaintance of mine lives at home and has around the clock care givers. It costs her $11,000 per month, in AZ. She isn't hard to take care of, she just needs someone with her "in case." There are no children.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Most people need to work to support themselves, and caregiving will force you out of a job sooner or later. If you think caregiving for free is what you want to do, great! If I need to be paid to take care of someone because I am not wealthy , there is nothing wrong with that either.
How much? List all the things you do. Do you manage medicines? Prepare meals? Provide transportation? Does your father need 24/7 supervision? Do you help with showers, dressing, hygiene? Make a list as complete as you can, then see what it would cost to pay the going rate in your location? iwentanon says the rate in her area is $15/hour. Holy cow! That is a real bargain compared to here! You don't have to get an exact amount, but try to find out a ballpark estimate.
Should you charge that much? Perhaps, if your father can truly afford it. Many people would charge less to their parents, because their parents can't afford the local going rate.
Whatever you charge, draw up an agreement specifying what you are providing and what you are charging. Pay income tax on the income. It might be worthwhile having an attorney who specializes in Elder Law help you with this, especially if there are other family members who might try to dispute this and/or if Medicaid may be needed someday.
If you are not doing the caregiving in love, no amount of money is worth the sacrifices you will be making. If you are doing this because you love your father and you feel this is what will be in his best interests, then you should be compensated as well as your father can afford it.
To search for a topic, go to the "search site" box at the top right of the page (with a magnifying glass next to it.) Type in the topic you are interested in and click the magnifier. In this case you might type "compensation for caring for parents." or "parents paying for care" or anything similar. You will get a list of posts that seem to match that topic. You can select only articles (by experts), only questions, only discussions, or look at the entire list. As you scan through it you will probably see that many of the items aren't exactly what you wanted. That's OK. Just like on the ones that seem most interesting.
If you don't get as many items as you would expect, try rewording your search. Keep the topic you type short but with enough words to narrow it down to your interest. "Caregiving" is way too broad! "caregiving bipolar parent" is better.
Since it is very common for similar questions to be asked over and over, seeing previous questions and answers may be helpful and may also help you decide how to present your own questions.
It is OK to ask the same questions others have asked. The population on these boards is always changing and you may get different perspectives now. Your situation may be slightly different and you can explain that in your question. Maybe after you read some of the earlier questions and answers you won't need to ask the same question again but it will move you down the road a bit and you'll want to ask another related question.
Searching is good and helpful. Don't feel you are using the forums incorrectly if you don't always do a search before you post. Do it if it seems beneficial. That's what this site is all about -- helping each other.
If your father owns his own home, and only collects SSecurity, cash and counseling program in IL, programs elsewhere will have the same name or so, the depart of aging should be able to direct you.
One of the biggest crimes in addition to abuses of the elderly
are the abuses to the FAMILY CAREGIVER
who is doing the job, but not getting paid,
because of sibling rivalry.
We have entered the 2 and 1/2 yr. mark
of having made a report of financial exploitation
and neglect (catholic charities elder abuse)
of siblings and despite some circumstances
of siblings putting her in AL (when she needed more)
against her will.
She continues to do well,
has gained her weight back,
is in a stable environment,
enjoys most of her life that she had prior
to her diagnosis.
AND we still are unpaid family caregivers and have lost our savings,
after 7 years of taking care of we are NOW asking to get paid from the estate,
they (siblings) made her sell her two flat house and we (she 86/ALZ and us)
are now in an apartment for 1 and 1/2 years. They do give her an allowance (the court), but we need to pay our bills, too!
Why do family caregivers always get a bad rap?
Like were sucking down beers and spending the SS check!
GET REAL and all mothers sit and eat bon-bons, too!
Remember that fallacy?
See All Answers