Follow
Share

My sister has episodes of not recognizing her husband. Recently her daughter had stayed with them and my sister suspected that her daughter was someone she did not know. My sister remembers these episodes but still does not believe that it was her daughter staying with her.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

24 Answers

Most
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
I recall a visiting relative with Alz who knew who we were--just a generation off. Called me by my mom's same, called my daughter by my name and kept looking for Dad.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Sorrynotsorry: it's a phase that will only last less than a year. Try not to let it stress you out. Many of us have been through these bizarre hallucinations suffered by our loved ones. Be aware, it it is Lewy Body dementia hallucinations, anti-psychotics are a major no-no. They can kill Lewy Body dementia sufferers. The bad news is that your loved one is entering the severe stage of dementia.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Sorrynotsorry: And does the husband come around with a huge smile on his face? LOL! I couldn't resist that one. On the serious side, medications will manifest into BAD hallucinogenic thoughts, actions, smells, etc. My late mother swore #1 A man hoped out of his bed to assist her in her Nursing Home bed, #2 said man, after he helped her "was going back to his hotel room," #3 "there's a person sleeping on the floor in my room" and other insane thoughts from the drugs she had been given. Phew! Nearly sent me around the bend to the crazy house myself, after I turned and looked (because she wouldn't believe me) and said "mother, I don't see anyone lying on the floor in your room!" And sorrynotsorry, what another great pen name! Sometimes I would feel like your pen name when caring for my mother, I'm ashamed to say.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
Their
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
My mother in law swears there are several people living with them. A group of young boys that leave the bathroom filthy, people that hold parties at her house and leave dirty dishes around and don't empty the trash , a dark haired woman that steals her stuff and " has sex " with her husband all nightlong in the upstairs bedroom. Also a group of people that come in specifically to steal batteries from there landline phone. She still recognizes us but has no recollection of what she just did, nor that she's worn the same outfit for days.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Thanks for the info- I learn things here all the time. My father (probably 95 at the time) was years into dementia with severe memory issues. One morning I stopped into the SNF to see him and it was as if nothing was wrong at all. He was bringing up lots of the details of my kids and was totally on the ball- I was shocked. But after that visit he was back into dementia again. The mind does strange things.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
neme804: Yes, a dementia patient's thoughts are distorted, if you will. Say they may recognize a relative one day, but then the next day they may not recollect even having seen the loved one, let alone recalling their name.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
Marsalis: The "lady visitor" could be what is known as the "mirror sign". It is fairly common for persons living with dementia, starting in the moderate stage, to not recognize theirselves in the mirror and socialize with the image in the mirror as if it were a real visitor. Same behavior when out shopping. Large full length mirrors are the most likely, while small hand held mirrors usually don't produce this behavior. As long as the communication is benevolent, it is beneficial to the person living with dementia. Once it becomes distressful, or causes fear or anxiety, simply remove the mirrors from the home environment.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
My husband deals with Lewy Body or CapGrass syndrome type dementia he sees me, his wife, as several different girls all day long. I can just leave the room and I come back as a different "girl". It's VERY hard on the caregiver because you literally never know who he sees you as. He does this with our home also thinking we have more than one home. Always wanting to go to the other home. So heartbreaking.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
Thanks! I haven't discouraged her visits. The lady is nice so I don't see any harm. Also mom once said that her sneakers were smiling at her. As long as their smiling...
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Maraslis dont think me crazy or ur loved one but ive heard tails of people talking to freinds an relitives thst have passed real or not just like a childs special friend in there mind they r real as long as it dosent present any kind of danger or thret they will b ok i see dad talking to someone thats not there an he believes there is so i just go along with it who know were there mind is as losg as there safe im sure they will b fine
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
My mother has episodes where she tells me that a woman has come to visit with her that day. We know she hasn't had a stranger visit. My husband is some and we have cameras around the property so we can tell from our bed room if she's left her apartment and wandered around the yard. Mom can't describe the woman's appearance at all. She just says that she's nice and will come to visit often. Does anyone else have experience with this? I told mom not to go anywhere with her lady.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
The information I'm seeing here helps me better understand what my cousin may be experiencing. She doesn't use names of anyone anymore, though, I've been told by the Memory Care staff that until recently, she talked about her cousin a lot, which is me. Just said my cousin. They said she talked about me a lot, so I knew she still knew who I was. I think I'm in her mind, because besides her parents, I was the main person she relied on over the last 15 years. Others would tell me that she always spoke about me. So, I think it's just ingrained.

I don't know if she still knows my name though. When I call, I just start talking and she seems to recognize my voice, tells me she loves me, etc. Maybe, I need to keep reminding her of my name. I'd hadn't thought of that. I'm not sure if it matters though.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
My dad thinks all tv shows r rerun so i hust change the chanal or turn it off much easyet than to try to explain this site has helped me very much i had no idea what a crazy illness this parkinsons an sundowners r u all have helped thankd cdtrog
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
In the near severe and severe stage, it is fairly common for a person living with dementia to vocalize " Capras syndrome", also known as "identical imposter", and "misidentification syndrome". Sadly, it is sometimrs difficult for the person living with dementia to accurately place "exactly who you are". When they ask,"who are you", or "what is your name", simply tell them your name, who you are, and explain your relationship to them. It sometimes causes more stress to the loved ones and visitors, than it does to the person living with dementia.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
What an interesting thing to learn. I had no idea that could happen. Sometimes my mom says is that she has seen things before even though I know she hasn't. For instance, she has lost interest in tv because to her it is all repeats. Once I took her it to lunch at a new restaurant and she said she was there before and in fact the people sitting across from us were there too. I just acknowledge it, I don't correct her. It is so real to her that there is no correcting her. Interesting. And what we learn from people sharing on this site is valuable when dealing with our loved ones.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report
Mrranch2 - Now I get it when mom will be walking with me, get a little ahead, and turn around back to me and ask "Where'd she go?"
i smile and point to myself and say 'right here' and it seems to register- I thought it was an out of sight thing, but now i see it is more than that.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report
MrRanch2...all I can say is holy CR@P...I can not imagine what you and many others go through. What you have described is scary. And I think you for the vivid description. My husband has Alzheimer's and possibly Vascular dementia and he never talked about it so I never though about what it was like inside his head. I wondered but..now I know.
Anyway to respond to question at hand.
I am sure that your sister is aware that someone was there but she may not believe it was her daughter. In your sisters mind her daughter may have been you or possibly her sibling if she has one. It depends on where she is in her head. (If that makes sense) My husband would follow people in the store and I am sure he thought the people he was following was me at various stages in my life. At one point he would follow a woman in her 20's with long hair..that cold have been me in my 20's...another time he would follow a heavier set woman in her 40's..again maybe me in my 40's...I knew I was in trouble when he started following a gray haired man... ;)
We were at a check out counter one day and he kept looking around and he said he needed to find his wife I told him we would go look for her by the cars. We left the store and we walked up to the car and he got in without a problem. So while he did not recognize me he knew the car and knew he was safe.
Just reassure your sister. If she thinks you are her mother or daughter or thinks her daughter is a younger sibling do not argue. It is difficult but at that moment it is her reality. Just as you can not discount your reality she can not hers.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report
Neme, episodes? My mom has AD. Every single day there are people that she has relationships with that she does not recognize or have any idea who they are. Sometimes those not recognized are her daughters or her husband or her doctor. It can be anybody and does not happen consistently. So, I guess mom has daily episodes. But not really episodes, it is part of this wretched disease. I wish she did remember when these things happen, but I know that is asking for the impossible. She is not going to get better, she is going to get much worse. Tge disease is not curable nor can it be slowed, only meds can treat some symptoms.

Neme, I found much help from different organizations that educate people about Dementia of all types. Alzheimers Association, AARP, many, many others. Awareness is increasing due to the efforts of many groups. I suggest that you find a group and take some classes, attend support groups anything that you can. This would be the best gift you could give your sister and her family. Learn about what they deal with on a daily basis. Offer help where you can. Be supportive of your sister's family.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
Alzheimer's, at least, comes and goes. One minute my husband knows where he is. An hour later, he is totally confused. He doesn't remember being confused, but sometimes he holds on to an idea that popped up then.

It's easy to believe that someone with Alz is faking or trying to mislead you. If that's what they were like before, then maybe they are. But for the most part, no one wants to fake such frightening symptoms!
Helpful Answer (8)
Report
Mrranch2 thank you so much for sharing how you see reality and how your mind works. It is truly enlightening.

Angel
Helpful Answer (8)
Report
I appreciate that perspective MrRanch2. Your account of what happened is so amazing. I looked up your type of Frontotemporal to see its characteristics. It appears to be less common than other types. Thank you for sharing.

I think things like that are so helpful to a group who are trying to understand and grasping for any information we can get.
Helpful Answer (10)
Report
I have frontotemporal and Lewy Body dementia. Ive had a lot of episodes of not knowing who someone is, or where I am, but I remember the episodes and have some awareness of what is going on.

For example, not long ago my wife and I went to pick up our granddaughter for a visit. We met our son at a truck stop. My wife got out to talk to our son and our granddaughter got in the back seat. Visually, it was not her--intellectually I knew it was her, so I made a game out of it (teasing--"Who's getting in this car", "Who are you", etc), all the while waiting for my vision to catch up with my sense of reality. A moment or two later I heard my son say something to me--he was leaning through the driver door. I heard the voice of a man in his mid-thirties, but my mind said he was a teenager. I responded to the verbal, knowing it was him, and waited for my sense of reality to catch up. A short time later I was mentally well coordinated, both visually and auditorially. Then, not long afterward, on the way home my wife, who was driving, said something. I looked at her and, though I knew it was her, the face I saw was that of a friend of ours. I responded, we talked a bit, and she became herself again.

Not recognizing someone, thing or place is common in dementia. What I find interesting is I am aware of what is happening as it happens, as though the two halves of my brain are each interpreting something differently at the same time while the real me watches.
Like jeannegibbs, I'm not real sure what youre asking. Don't know if this helps--but it's me right now.
Helpful Answer (31)
Report
I don't understand your question.

It appears that yes, your sister remembers parts of an episode of dementia. She didn't think at the time that the woman visiting her was her daughter, and she still does not believe it was her daughter.

So what is your question? Do you think that your sister is not being honest about what she remembers, or what?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

Recent Questions


Popular Questions


Related Questions

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter