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Sister has questionable POA that my mother said she didn't sign but nursing center won 't let her sign over POA to me and revoke it from my sister so I can get her in my family home with me and in home care from agency, family, and friends
I enjoy reading these and many other questions which were initiated some years ago. But it still helps others. I have just learned to look at the date of when the OP originally posts.
digitalbanker, meallen and all, for some reason I read through this entire thread - now at least two years old when her mom was 88. ML's profile now says her mom is 90. For those of you posting within the past year, your comments lead me to believe that you did not read through the entire thread. In short, it seemed to me that ML's concerns were not due to any medical, financial or legal funny business. There are dozens of very patient, wise and loving posts to ML on this initial thread, each saying the same thing over and over and over again. Perhaps she eventually learned from them and realized that the solution was within herself. My hope for her is that she is now spending her time comforting her mother and on a path to acceptance.
I can't see a reasonable reason for you not to be allowed to see your mother. Having POA doesn't mean it allows your sister to become an unreasonable dictator. Contact the guardianship board or similar institution for advice.
Digital Banker, I hardly know how to navigate my way around this site past, like you, I thought, clicking on the questions and comments that come to my inbox, so not really sure what happened or where you're at with it, just know that with my dad, his beneficiary of my mom on his, what he called insurance, but they just called "death benefit", was not changed when she unexpectedly passed away, so then when he did, had to deal with that first before could get released, involving sending them her death certificate, which they had disappeared, had asked the funeral home to hold them when they got them till I could get back in there to get them but guess they couldn't actually keep them from dad when he went to get them, but then didn't remember and had no idea where or what happened to them, but also needed it to deal with his car, which possibly didn't really have to be dealt with, since we pretty much just scrapped it, but since it was in his will, just needed to clean it up, but was a back and forth thing between the car people and the funeral home over that death certificate till, funny, when I told the funeral home that the car people said they should have a copy in their files, she finally got up off her chair, went to the file room, and whaddaya know.....
Where were you when the POA was signed over to your sister? My guess is that you were busy while your sister handled everything in the beginning and now you are "Monday Morning Quarterbacking" the situation and want to undo everything that is already in place for you to bring her home with you instead. Is your Mother ill cared for where she is? I guess I am not understanding what your sister is doing wrong? What is wrong with supervised visits? You will always have someone to help you with your mother that way. My main advice is stop court actions. That is not what is good for your mother and ridiculously expensive. Is there an inheritance to be had? Trust me, in home care of parents is taxing and expensive and stressful. Stop pitting yourself against your sister and work with her to care for your mother and maybe you can eventually have unsupervised visits again if you stop acting this way.
The date on a POA is what counts. If your mother is of sound mind and signs a new POA yours would take the lead. This is not something that needs an attorney. Check with your state's Medicaid office. There is usually a state form. Sometimes either notarized or witnessed by two or more individuals that cannot be the named POA. If not in her sound mind, you need a doctor to give written note to the effect, say the home's psychiatrist.
CNA not helping you disrespect and violate the persons pt. rights they are being paid to care for. Refusing to help you ... Help the CLIENT to reposition in chair sliding out of... client being injured because CNA FAILURE on facility to properly position/reposition in safe manner Client in chair. It is NOT your Responsibility to Pick mother the client up when sliding down in a chair. Nursinghome staff responsible. I would talk with Director of Facility regarding CNA neglecting safely repositioning for safety your mother in chair. ACHA can be contacted as concern and website of facility has comment place also concerns grievance forms or a letter from you with these concerns written sent to DON and Director of Facility and Parent corp. and Licensing Accreditation Board.
I know yall dont usually like hearing about the Outlaws of life but I too have a handfull of them in my mix here. one is my own son whom is not my own son come to find out, but anyways they have gone as far as to file false crime reports to have us arrested then tried to move in my ex wife and the plan was in motion, take moms meds away send her to hospital due to meds lost, my ex and ex son take over home viola. that is messed up but it almost happened there has been 3 diffferenrt attempts on my life by my own son just for that purpose. anyways dont say it can never happen heck if it can happen to little ole me it can happen to anyone
Sounds like you may have some of these outlaw people in your life like I had, you need to find out who the lawyer is or was that drafted that document and get with him asap. because if someone is doing the flim flam on you it must be corrected like yesterday.
Yes. The only way you can change what POA dictates, is to hire a lawyer specializing in eldercare, and see how they can help. It maybe a case of going before a judge. Document EVERYTHING! Darby
I don't know if you ever got this resolved, but I was thinking that if there was a DPOA or even a guardian that they could deny you access to your mom. However, unless they were hiding something, why would day unless they had some very bad motive? People become monsters where money is involved and if the POA is handling the person's money, they may have their own thing going on, and that may actually involve coercion or some other crime they don't want discovered
Elder people, especially with osteoporosis, can fracture VERY EASILY. A hairline fracture, can become a full blown fracture in NORMAL ACTIVITY. Walking, standing, attempting to stand...video has a way of protecting caregivers...and exposing REAL abusers
i'm constantly updating a question I previously posted. Someone on that thread requested updates as things unfold. Ohio residents dealing with estate issues can very easily learn from my story as things unfold and I update my thread. My thread is about my Alzheimer's dad who suddenly changed his beneficiary on his life insurance policy only three weeks before he died. Scroll all the way to the very last post to my most recent update. Those interested in learning about how things happen in Ohio especially with very unique cases like mine may find that they may be facing something similar. Yes, it's a pretty old thread but with constant new updates as things unfold.
maybe that's a good idea; not sure about questions in my inbox; I get statements that there's been a new answer, that's what got me back here, then realized I'd been here before but got me wondering what's happened, I actually did end up reading all 31 pages, hoping at the end there'd be a real update but knew wouldn't make any sense if I didn't familiarize myself with the story; been a while, obviously and I've had a lot going on myself this year, and of all things particularly this weekend, somewhat relating to all of this. But maybe I'll try to go look at don's, since I don't remember that. Jeannegibbs, don't remember if you're the one who or didn't want to hear about HELOC, reverse mortgages, upkeep, refitting house, etc. but would like to just update a bit; we did end up not getting the HELOC, over quite a bit of objection of hub's but we muddled through, got on a debt mgt. plan, he took a 2nd job, which led to a granddad/gd date night last night, but anyway, seems to be working out; debt term payoff reduced considerably, sometimes he seems okay, other times resentful at the extra hours working but was his choice to do to still have his play money; anyway almost lost first job this past year over a contract but they protested and won, he thinks because of him, I do, too, possibly, but I think because of our situation; if that had happened not sure what would have happened to us but then company got sold anyway so waiting to see what's going to happen with that; had all kinds of insurance issues last year but that got all taken care of but now happened again this year, costs went up along with increased co-pays but got somewhat of a raise to help take care of things, still more college to pay for for youngest, middle one had job issues that ended up helping with but all that seems to be at a point of being taken care of now, mof need to check account to see if last college payment taken out, oldest, who's still in dad's house, turned out gf with all the money putting into it guess got tired of no marriage only just missed the real thing by 3 days left him for his best friend who'd gotten divorced so hard year, friend who'd help bail dad out of car deal he got himself into over grandson got down to final point with situation her husband, who was actually the one who bailed us out with the same type thing that left her in a mess over finally killing himself over that type thing, so used little money dad left - whole situation over him taking care of him but then like she would they kept him up for years before, so which way to look at, anyway helped out of her situation and just today got it back but with personal check so need to get deposited ASAP; hub's uncle's VA appointment's tomorrow, had one Friday, aunt wanted me to come stay with her, they'd decreased her anxiety meds and she had a really hard time last time, but dil came and think stayed with and might tomorrow as well, will see....
Hi jeannegibbs, no I didn't notice it was active for that long. All I know is I get these questions in my inbox daily and assuming that they are all new answers, I looked them over and help where I can. I think if something's going to be active for that long, at least the OP should come back and update everyone. I have one right now about my bio dad and every time I get an update, I always update my post. Perhaps maybe suggesting to the site admin's to go through and delete the ones where there's not been any activity for a certain time and only send new questions or updated old post where the OP updates
Yes, it sounds to me like the POA may very well be shady if they're keeping you away from your mom and it sounds to me like the POA is probably working on her to gain everything when she dies.
Definitely get legal help on this one. Contact the APS and then call your State Bar association and get a lawyer right away who specializes in this specific area
Today is my Birthday and my wish is that I hope that each and everyone of you gets quality time with your loved one today be it seconds, minutes or hours I just hope it's there.
Vegaslady, I suggest if you are not interested in what you read here that you don't stay and read it. Some people reading this do want to have this information, for reasons I will not go into as you have not been following this thread for several months.
ML, I know your Mum is not on a dementia ward, and has been pointed out many times before by others here, it does not mean she does not have dementia! Ok, you are acknowledging further down the page she does, even if it is mild now, sadly it will get worse unless something else happens to take her to join her Maker. I have mild dementia right now, I'm not on a dementia ward BUT I am sadly aware of an increase in it's progression. Sometimes fast, sometimes slow. For the last couple of weeks I've been on a plateau, long may I stay here :~)
Maybe I'm trying to remember; is she still supposed to be getting therapy for her stroke from 10 yrs. ago? somehow I would be surprised but have I missed and/or forgotten that that is the issue here?
Debdaughter Mom had a stroke about 10 years ago that impaired her right side, but she is improving in therapy. She has osteoporosis, mild dementia, and a few ailments .
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Refusing to help you ... Help the CLIENT to reposition in chair sliding out of... client being injured because CNA FAILURE on facility to properly position/reposition in safe manner Client in chair. It is NOT your Responsibility to Pick mother the client up when sliding down in a chair. Nursinghome staff responsible.
I would talk with Director of Facility regarding CNA neglecting safely repositioning for safety your mother in chair.
ACHA can be contacted as concern and website of facility has comment place also concerns grievance forms or a letter from you with these concerns written sent to DON and Director of Facility and Parent corp. and Licensing Accreditation Board.
heck if it can happen to little ole me it can happen to anyone
Document EVERYTHING!
Darby
i'm constantly updating a question I previously posted. Someone on that thread requested updates as things unfold. Ohio residents dealing with estate issues can very easily learn from my story as things unfold and I update my thread. My thread is about my Alzheimer's dad who suddenly changed his beneficiary on his life insurance policy only three weeks before he died. Scroll all the way to the very last post to my most recent update. Those interested in learning about how things happen in Ohio especially with very unique cases like mine may find that they may be facing something similar. Yes, it's a pretty old thread but with constant new updates as things unfold.
Jeannegibbs, don't remember if you're the one who or didn't want to hear about HELOC, reverse mortgages, upkeep, refitting house, etc. but would like to just update a bit; we did end up not getting the HELOC, over quite a bit of objection of hub's but we muddled through, got on a debt mgt. plan, he took a 2nd job, which led to a granddad/gd date night last night, but anyway, seems to be working out; debt term payoff reduced considerably, sometimes he seems okay, other times resentful at the extra hours working but was his choice to do to still have his play money; anyway almost lost first job this past year over a contract but they protested and won, he thinks because of him, I do, too, possibly, but I think because of our situation; if that had happened not sure what would have happened to us but then company got sold anyway so waiting to see what's going to happen with that; had all kinds of insurance issues last year but that got all taken care of but now happened again this year, costs went up along with increased co-pays but got somewhat of a raise to help take care of things, still more college to pay for for youngest, middle one had job issues that ended up helping with but all that seems to be at a point of being taken care of now, mof need to check account to see if last college payment taken out, oldest, who's still in dad's house, turned out gf with all the money putting into it guess got tired of no marriage only just missed the real thing by 3 days left him for his best friend who'd gotten divorced so hard year, friend who'd help bail dad out of car deal he got himself into over grandson got down to final point with situation her husband, who was actually the one who bailed us out with the same type thing that left her in a mess over finally killing himself over that type thing, so used little money dad left - whole situation over him taking care of him but then like she would they kept him up for years before, so which way to look at, anyway helped out of her situation and just today got it back but with personal check so need to get deposited ASAP; hub's uncle's VA appointment's tomorrow, had one Friday, aunt wanted me to come stay with her, they'd decreased her anxiety meds and she had a really hard time last time, but dil came and think stayed with and might tomorrow as well, will see....
Definitely get legal help on this one. Contact the APS and then call your State Bar association and get a lawyer right away who specializes in this specific area
Ok, you are acknowledging further down the page she does, even if it is mild now, sadly it will get worse unless something else happens to take her to join her Maker.
I have mild dementia right now, I'm not on a dementia ward BUT I am sadly aware of an increase in it's progression. Sometimes fast, sometimes slow. For the last couple of weeks I've been on a plateau, long may I stay here :~)