Hi, new here. I am an RN, single and lived in a beautiful mountain area. I have moved to suburbia (don't like it as I am a big outdoor person) to care for my elderly mother. I still have my home in the mtns. which needs major repairs and I am caring for mom 24/7. She has always been critical of me and made me feel bad in many ways thru the years. As much as I miss my home, I am OK being here as she needs the care. But, when I mentioned that I would need financial help for my mortgage, etc. and just money for things like my car fuel, upkeep, etc. never mind just some extra for me, she balked at $500/wk. My mom can easily afford this but thinks it is WAY too much.
Is the amount I asked for too much?? She'd pay a lot more for an aide or companion. I don't want to be rich (evidently) but be able to have a little spending money for me. I feel hurt. I have already saved her life by holding some of the meds the MDs discharged her on which would have dropped her BP to 0 if given as prescribed. I don't want an award, just for her to appreciate my value and that I care for her enough to give up my life and she should care for me in this way.
"I have moved to suburbia (don't like it as I am a big outdoor person) to care for my elderly mother."
and
"I still have my home in the mtns..."
OP only wants enough to cover expenses and some extra to hang onto/fix her own home (but she should get more $ and less lip.)
Your entire self image is based on a woman that can't even love.
You deserve to have a home that is NOT filled with a pity party, complaining and running you into the ground. The old saying "Misery loves company." Was created by a person living with a person like this female you call mom.
You tried, it is costing you more then she could ever pay you. You say she refuses, well, you can refuse to be her scratching post and go live your life. No one has the right to abuse you, NO ONE. Please tell your family that they need to step up and take some responsibility because you have served your time and you are being released on (set date) and she either gets help from all of them or you contact APS and tell them that she is a vulnerable senior and you can no longer care safely for her. There is no guilt in laying down a load that is to heavy. Don't believe that caring for you and your future is anything but wise and correct.
You see from what you have posted that your mom doesn't appreciate anything, don't expect to be different than every other wonderful thing she has or had in her life. I could have jumped through flaming hoops for my dad and he would have complained that the heat was to hard on him, so I decided that since everything I did was wrong that I would save him the misery of dealing with my sorry, useless, unacceptable, never good enough self and put him in AL. Worked out great, I didn't have to be reminded multiple times a day how useless I was and he didn't have to see the fruit of his loins and be reminded that he helped create such a worthless person. I know this is not true about you or me, I am trying to get you to see how much power you give her by letting her treat you poorly and sticking around for more. Please refuse to let her take anymore joy and peace from you.
You can do this! Hugs!