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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I acknowledge and authorize
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I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
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I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
My wife is at home with Hospice coming out. She has lung cancer, her leg has turn black, she has not eaten nothing in 30 days nor BM in 30 days, and other things going on how long can she go?
I am so sorry to hear this. Have you asked the people with Hospice how long they think she will last? If I remember correctly, the body can last 40 days without food before going into a starvation mode. We can't live anywhere near that length of time, however, without water.
Benn, I'm so sorry for you and your wife. It sounds like the end is near (within days). It is amazing how long someone can survive without food.
By any chance, is she waiting for a family member or friend to arrive at your house? That is not unusual for a dying patient to "wait" to see or hear from someone close, then pass.
If I were you, I would spend her last days making her as comfortable as possible. Reassure her that you are there and love her. Holding hands can be comforting. Sometimes, soft music and soft lighting can be calming. I know how hard it is, as I was a hospice nurse.
Oh, Benn, I am so sorry you have to go through this. Have you told your wife it's ok for her to go? Be sure you tell her that. During my mom's last day, I played music she loved, talked to her, held her hand, sang to her and told her what a great mom she'd been. I'm sure your wife would like similar soothing words and music if she likes music. It's so hard, I know. {{{Hugs}}}
benn, Do you believe in the afterlife (Heaven or another existence)?
I believe that, at our death, we will join our loved ones. There will be a temporary absence when one leaves before the other but Heaven is for eternity. I believe God meant us to be together always. The hard part is that, during the separation, we can't communicate with them. That's where trust comes in. Trust that your wife's soul will be well taken care of in your brief separation.
I pray for God's loving comfort to help you let her go, then may He surround you with His love during this difficult time.
I can see your pain. I wish there was something else I could say to make you feel better. (((Big hugs))) to you.
Don't be afraid of the pain Benn. Cry it out. This may be the hardest thing you've ever done. But believe me, it's also the most beautiful. Relax and let her time come on her time table. You are one hell of a great husband!
Benn2234 My thoughts and prayers are with you. Thank you for your post and the loving devotion to your wife. May God grant you and your wife His Peace.
I believe in telling someone it's okay if they go on. Assure her that you will be okay and that you love her and you will see her again. Also, sometimes I've seen that someone will wait until their loved ones are not with them before they go. Just some thoughts.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I'm so sorry for you and your wife. It sounds like the end is near (within days). It is amazing how long someone can survive without food.
By any chance, is she waiting for a family member or friend to arrive at your house? That is not unusual for a dying patient to "wait" to see or hear from someone close, then pass.
If I were you, I would spend her last days making her as comfortable as possible. Reassure her that you are there and love her. Holding hands can be comforting. Sometimes, soft music and soft lighting can be calming. I know how hard it is, as I was a hospice nurse.
God bless you both at this difficult time.
Do you believe in the afterlife (Heaven or another existence)?
I believe that, at our death, we will join our loved ones. There will be a temporary absence when one leaves before the other but Heaven is for eternity. I believe God meant us to be together always. The hard part is that, during the separation, we can't communicate with them. That's where trust comes in. Trust that your wife's soul will be well taken care of in your brief separation.
I pray for God's loving comfort to help you let her go, then may He surround you with His love during this difficult time.
I can see your pain. I wish there was something else I could say to make you feel better. (((Big hugs))) to you.