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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
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My wife wants to have sex with me. We haven't touched each other that way for over 3 years. She's not able to move around to much so I don't know if she'd be comfortable. I'm not sure what to do at this point.
I don't see where Jack is saying he's 'not interested', just that he is not sure what to do at this point.
I would just try kissing her intimately. Let things go from there, with no expectations for an end result. Just allow the intimacy to return to BOTH of your lives. Lie next to her and cuddle her, kiss her, and take things very very slowly. You may both feel like taking things further, and then you can let nature take its course. If not, try again at another time. But at least you'll have invited closeness back into your lives and that's a GOOD thing, even if it doesn't end up with sexual intercourse.
You say in your profile anxiety and "other". Does your wife have Dementia? If she does, this turns a lot of caregivers off. Illnesses in themselves do. Caregiver is tired and last thing they are thinking about is sex. And what kind of partner will you be if really not interested. Is it the actual act she wants or just closeness.
A Dementia seems to heighten the sex response. But there is nothing wrong in not wanting to engage in it. I wouldn't be interested either.
You sound like you might be younger than most on this forum. I’m in my 30s. My husband became sick about 6 years ago, and it was hard for me to be intimate with him after becoming his caregiver. However, I recognized it as one way to show love and have a connection with him.
There are many ways to be intimate that are sexual, but aren’t actually sex. Kissing, laying together, massage, hand jobs for either, etc. Maybe you can figure out something that would work for both of you.
I kind of think sex is a two way street. You both have to "want it". So I would talk with her to tell her that you have kind of "lost it" over the two or three years and just no longer feel even cuddly. That you are sorry and care for her, but somehow all the rest has just "gone away" with time. It isn't something that you desire. Not everything can be made right and perfect in relationships. Speak with your MD or she can speak with hers. Consider couples counseling; some who specialize in this work give exercises that start you out slow. You know, handholding 101. Like learning to "date" again. I think after all is tried, you may come out still scratching your head. Not everything can be fixed, sadly. Couples do often differ in needs, and find an agreed upon way be be, if not happy as teens in love again, then at least companionably content.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I would just try kissing her intimately. Let things go from there, with no expectations for an end result. Just allow the intimacy to return to BOTH of your lives. Lie next to her and cuddle her, kiss her, and take things very very slowly. You may both feel like taking things further, and then you can let nature take its course. If not, try again at another time. But at least you'll have invited closeness back into your lives and that's a GOOD thing, even if it doesn't end up with sexual intercourse.
Good luck!
A Dementia seems to heighten the sex response. But there is nothing wrong in not wanting to engage in it. I wouldn't be interested either.
There are many ways to be intimate that are sexual, but aren’t actually sex. Kissing, laying together, massage, hand jobs for either, etc. Maybe you can figure out something that would work for both of you.
Good luck.
Not everything can be made right and perfect in relationships. Speak with your MD or she can speak with hers. Consider couples counseling; some who specialize in this work give exercises that start you out slow. You know, handholding 101. Like learning to "date" again.
I think after all is tried, you may come out still scratching your head. Not everything can be fixed, sadly. Couples do often differ in needs, and find an agreed upon way be be, if not happy as teens in love again, then at least companionably content.