My mom is in semi independent living and 88 diagnosed with beginnings of dementia. Before she moved there she turned the house over to my niece and nephew and it was legally put into their names. She wants to move back and swears she never gave her house up. I told her she can't because it isn't hers and besides she needs to be in a safer place due to falls. She becomes very belligerent with me threatens to sue us all and that we forged her signature. I am very stressed out dealing with all this. Any recommendations?
A goal with dementia is to keep the LO calm since they are less and less able to bring themselves into this state of mind due to the diminishing ability to use reason and logic. Instead of have Groundhog Day everytime she asks, try giving her a brief answer, like, "Your doctor says you can return when you can perform all your ADLs so you can be safe" and then immediately redirect the conversation. If she follows up on this response tell her you'll call the doctor tomorrow (if she requests this). Then of course, you don't do this. Keep redirecting the conversation. We do this with my 87-yr old MIL in LTC and she can't get mad at us since it's the "doctor" who makes the decision (even though she's bedridden and hasn't walked on her own in years, she insists she can. We say, "Great! Show the doctor tomorrow that you can walk, and do all the other required activities." She acts miffed but it diffuses the situation.
If there are any activities in your LO's facility, accompany her to one so that she's occupied during your visit, then leave before the activity ends so her mind doesn't have the chance to focus on the house.
If it was given away, as others had mentioned, there will be a major roadblock for when the time comes that your Mother may need to depend on Medicaid [which is different from Medicare] to pay for her stay at a facility.
Curious, who's idea was it to sell or give away the house?
You should definitely consult with an attorney.
If she couldn't live alone, she probably didn't have the mental capacity to give her house away.