We have to keep our vehicles locked, our friends have to also. Which is not a big deal. If we don’t my mother will get in the car and take things, mess with the knobs, thank god she has never messed with the brake. She used to drive of course, but no longer can. The problem we are experiencing is she won’t stop yanking on the car handle when the door is locked. She has yanked so hard that she has broken the passenger side door handle of my sister’s brand new car. Sometimes when that does nothing she gets really mad and will hit the car, hard. We tell her over and over don’t touch the cars leave them alone but she won’t stop. Any suggestions how to deal with this quirky thing? I take her everywhere I go, everyday so it’s not that she wants to go anywhere.
Install locks on the doors to outside, high up where she cannot reach them. Or install key locks and hide the keys. She needs close supervision at all times so shes not playing in the chemicals under the sink or eating the scented soap. My mother would use Fabreeze to get stains out of clothing. They lose sight of what's going on entirely, and chaos ensues with a brain that's malfunctioning.
If you cannot keep her indoors, then she needs placement in a locked Memory Care Assisted Living facility for her own safety.
It is not as simple as with a child you say" we don't touch other people's things" and eventually they learn. With dementia that is not going to happen.
In a shopping center you walk so that you are closer to the cars so she is less likely to grab a door handle.
With the weather getting colder maybe mittens will make it more difficult for her to grab a door handle and if she hits a car with mittens on there is less of a chance she will cause damage.
You might want to talk to her doctor about her anger.
Hitting an inanimate object is one thing but getting mad at you or another family member and hitting someone is a whole 'nuther thing.
And it might be time that she stays home with a caregiver if you have to go out. At some point it becomes either dangerous for you or the loved one to go out either there is a chance of a slip and or fall, an angry outburst or them wandering away when you turn your back for just a moment.
Have you considered that she would do better in a facility where there wouldn’t be the confusion and frustration of continually seeing cars?
This has to be so hard for you knowing that you cannot leave her alone. So, you take her everywhere that you go. You see this as an outing for her. She is seeing it as frustrating.
After she is placed she will have regulated activities that are appropriate for her.
You can visit her as often as you like.
Wishing you all the best during this difficult time.