I begged her to go to dr when she was constipated really bad in August. Finally, after waking up in pain, washed of all color and her stomach blown up like she was having triplets, she went to the er. The dr said she would have died if she hadn't gone gone that night! On 8/26 half of her colon died. They had to remove a bunch of intestines cutting her 1970s c section style above belly button down to pubic line. On 8/28 they went in to finish, and they gave her an ileostomy less that 2 inches from her belly button. All was fine until she went to rehab Thursday was 2 weeks ago. The bag started leaking and they let her sit for hours. It leaks and goes right in her wound that still has staples in BTW. Now her stomach looks like red hamburger meat. She left AMA so they wouldn't send supplies or scripts home. I have called ambulance 2x and she says she hurts too bad to go. She cursed out the home health lady. I got her a dr appointment today but we have no car. I'm supposed to load my poop covered mother into someone else's car??? She's hateful to me. She wont use gloves. She's just laying in a pool of poop on the couch. There is a reason I'm not a cna. I am supposed to start work next week, and idk what to do. Can I call adult services on her? She's gonna make us all sick!
Now, your profile tells us that you moved yourself and your children in with mother and that you have always had a bad relationship. You don't mention if you are her POA and you don't mention if or if not she has dementia.I assume she does not or she could not have been signing out AMA, which would constitute an "unsafe discharge".
You cannot stop your mother from returning to her own home if she has no dementia, but you can get yourself and your children out of there, and you had better or Welcome to your new life.
Your mother is, whether demented or mentally ill, definitely not making good decisions right now. She needs to get in and she likely needs SNF placement until she can do ileostomy care or arrangements are made to assist her in home or have placement. She may also need assessment for mental competency.
You can, if you wish, leave with your children and call APS for an adult in danger, and let THEM handle it if you cannot. But you cannot leave if there is not going to be some care for her either through APS that you know of, or from EMT transfer to hospital ER.
The real problem you have given yourself here is that you are currently living with your Mother, and have brought your children into that situation. What your Mom's choices will be will have repercussions on you while you are in HER home.
So far three people have said to call 911. There isn’t any other solution to your dilemma.
I am sorry that the firefighters have been rude. I am sorry that your mom is the way she is.
I am sorry that you are dealing with this situation but the only answer is to call 911. After you call, step aside and allow them to handle it. How could they leave your mom in this mess, LITERALLY!
Pick up the phone now and call. Don’t argue with them or insult them. Simply state the facts by explaining that it is a true emergency.
If you can’t trust your emotions and I realize this is so stressful that it is possible to lose it, then have a neighbor or any other person who can be objective make the initial phone call.
This is extremely frustrating and I sense that you are at your wit’s end! You may be angry or frightened. All I can say is that you need to let go of any emotions that are hindering you from calling 911 or ask someone else to do it for you.
Best wishes to you and your family. Let us know how you make out. We care but want you to do your part in handling this unfortunate situation.
I am so very sorry that you are living in this nightmare! I would call 911 and let them deal with it. Step back and allow them to do their job.
Others will have advice for you. Again, my heart breaks for your pain and I am terribly sorry that you are struggling with all of this.
Wishing you all of the best in this awful situation.
The 911 responders are not required to make your mother go to a hospital if she refuses to go. It sounds like you need to talk to Adult Protective Services and let them know that you cannot be responsible for your mother and let them take over. They may determine that she is capable of making her own decisions, albeit bad ones, or they may take over guardianship. In any case it gets you out of the caregiver role. But your most important thing is to get you children moved out of that house and for you to find another place to live.
sounds like mom should be on hospice.
Hope by now, you decided to get her into ER. With covid going on, might be tough...
prayers to you and family.