My mother certainly imprinted her values... having problems throwing out some coffee.
When my mother moved in with me over 4 years ago, some luggage from a set came along and was stored in the top of her closet. We didn't need the large or small roller bags until this summer when Mom spent 10 days with her sister. When I opened the small bag there were 2 cans of coffee in it. Mom needed to store some things in "hidden" places because as my father's vascular dementia worsened, he would go into the pantry and throw things away (because he thought there was too much) or tell my mother she didn't need any grocery money that month because there was so much food in the pantry and freezer. Before his dementia, Dad has never said anything about how Mom managed the kitchen and afterwards he couldn't understand Mom purchased most grocery basics on sale or that a freezer is always full in late fall with the food put up over the summer. Mom stopped growing gardens at age 78 but we still purchased produce from local farms to can and freeze. There's nothing like the taste of vine ripen strawberries or corn gathered and frozen the same day.
The best used by date on that coffee is 2 years in the past and logically I should just pitch that $20 of coffee right? As Mom (oldest daughter raised during the Depression) taught me, I hate "wasting" anything and particularly groceries. Those coffee cans have been sitting in my kitchen now for over a month and I found myself searching online this morning for how long coffee can last in the unopened can...
Anyone else have similar issues? Or am I a special nut case?
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My mother was terrified of being poor again. She would come to tears telling my brothers and me stories of what it was like - growing up poor during the 1930’s.
As a result, my mom - both my parents really - were frugal. My mom - beyond frugal. I always said my mom didn’t just pinch pennies- she made them scream.
You know how you take a bottle of shampoo or lotion and turn it upside down to get the last little bit? HA! That was for amateurs. My mother had a sturdy pair of scissors and she would cut the bottles in half - then she would use a tiny little rubber spatula and scrape away until every last drop was gone. Mom could get an extra week out of just about anything!
Im not as bad as that but I’d wager I can get more toothpaste out of a tube than most folks - that’s for sure! And, I do turn my bottles upside down but I draw the line at cutting them open.
I do adhere to food expiration dates, however. Rainman has a really sensitive tummy and I’ve had one too many cases of food poisoning to mess around with that.
I have read that “Use By” and “Best By” mean exactly that. So, I’d imagine that the coffee won’t kill you if you decide to drink it - it just probably won’t taste very good.
I also refuse to use anything after "Use By" or "Best By". Sig Other is always asking me to do the "sniff test" on lettuce, good grief can't he smell that the lettuce needs to be discarded.... [sigh].
TNtechie, find another use for that old coffee instead of drinking it. Like putting the ground coffee into your garden. Or use as an air fresher.
It is a best before date, not a spoiled after date. It is unlikely the coffee would go rancid, but it may have lost flavour. When we had a 90th birthday party for Dad earlier this year, I found an upopened tin of coffee. It was bought in 2015. I needed coffee for the party. I used it, added a bit extra per pot and a smidge of cinnamon it was fine.
How long would it take you to use up the two cans? If you will not use it up by the end of the year, ask a local church if they can use it, or a soup kitchen.
Here the food bank will take food with a best before date within the last 2 years.
I think in the case of the coffee there may be more to it because it is a powerful connection to your parents, and at some deep level letting go of the coffee is letting go of a physical connection to the past. If you're not ready then just set it aside until you are. Or just open it and give it a try, all you have to lose is a pot of coffee, right?
I have two first aid kits in my bathroom cabinet.
[which reminds me: Daughter 1, a couple of years back, came downstairs and demanded "WHY is there an IV giving set in the bathroom cupboard?" I remembered that Mother had travelled to Namibia at some point and travellers at the time were advised to take sterile equipment with them for fear of poor practices in certain countries. We must have kept it... in case].
Anyway, so that one was duly returned to a safe clinical disposal unit at D1's hospital; but the first aid kits are still there. I do not travel. I wouldn't go out of the house if I could avoid it, to be honest. And besides they must be museum pieces by now - they've probably got gutta percha and gentian violet in them.
But. But.
Oh nuts to it I'll go and throw them away!
The coffee's probably fine, just not something to serve to your dinner guests.
I don't think the worms would mind that your coffee is 2 years old.
I experience a similar issue, and I make no apologies for it. "Things" often develop special meaning, and also can connect us not only to our family, here or gone, but also to special times.
Thumbing through a women's clothing catalogue yesterday, I had a "deja vu" moment when I saw a yellow dress with designs (I don't remember which now). Suddenly I envisioned myself as a toddler, wearing whatever was a kind of jumper - pants with a bib. I don't know if that's what the material actually resembled, but it created a real flashback moment. So, obviously, I clipped that photo from the catalogue and saved it.
Tap shoes and ballet slippers have the same effect. I flash back to a lovely old Victorian house, to a room with wooden floors where we changed to get ready for class.
Items can be associated with such intriguing and comforting memories. I'll keep them as long as the memories appear and are inspiring, and comforting.
As I'm going through my father's possessions, I came across a letter my mother wrote when I was one month old. It was so overwhelmingly emotional and inspirational that I was in tears by the time I finished reading it. I'll never part with it.
I'm hoping to find Dad's parachute; I remember it as being a yellowish orange silk, when last I saw it some decades ago. Hopefully it's still hiding in some of the boxes I'll be going through.
There will come a time when it naturally will feel right to discard items, even old coffee. I think, especially given the turmoil these days, that we all need something to comfort us, and if your mother's coffee can do that, save it.
While downsizing, I found it liberating to just throw out an unwanted, random can, jar, frozen item, etc. and not feel guilty.
https://www.google.com/search?
Uses for old coffee
q=us3s+for+old+coffee&oq=us3s+for+old+coffee&aqs=chrome..69i57j0l3.6755j0j8&client=tablet-android-samsung&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8
If they are sealed, the cans intact with no rust or bulging tops then my guess is the coffee is still good. Only way to tell is open a can and smell it. If it smells like coffee use it. If it smells rancid or "off" then compost it.
By the way the dates are NOT expiration dates but "use by", "best by", "freshest by" . Pretty much the ONLY food that is required to be pulled from a grocery shelf on the date is baby formula.
Saving and using items is frugal - a laudable trait.
Saving things until they go bad or create chaos is hoarding - a problem that needs to be curbed.
As I write this, I am going through books and donating the ones I never read. So, you can see that saving versus hoarding is something we all deal with.
My late husband had vascular dementia and could only see the food at front of frig and pantry for some reason. Strange things happen as we age--I'm sure I must be exhibiting early signs of Alzheimer's myself as I carry one copy of late onset gene--and it is now late!
NiNice to have a store and storage room! When I had to downsize I SPENT money renting a trailer to take stuff to Goodwill. No charity would pick up clothes or shoes, no one had free time for their truck available before my closing. I wasted a lot of valuable time trying to get resale shops, estate sales, and even charities to help. So I ended up moving it to another state and renting 2 storage units...10×20 each. My helpers would have to drive 7 hours round trip to help me now, so not an option.
My Grandfather started losing his sight. Since it was gradual, he didn't see..or maybe didn't look...mold on food in containers in the fridge. Eventually the frig was moldy! They didn't entertain anymore. Any guests we served, not allowed to help in the kitchen, etc. They kept getting bad cases of the Intestinal Flu...it was good poisoning. Grandma had to be hospitalized twice.
Please heed these cautionary tales.
This is funny because I still have to put aside thoughts before I toss things that my grandmother religiously recycled...and she could find a use for about everything. I now use coffee cans and dirty zip lock bags to put scraps of food or bones in, freeze them, and then put in the trash on garbage day. No smell and no flies around the garbage cans. And dogs don't smell it before it's picked up either.
We found that canned foods with a Best By date were usually good for at least another 6-7 years! Cans with a small dent in the sides were ok IF the dent didn't extend to the rim. Rice has virtually no expiration date and can be frozen to keep weevils and moths out of it. Pasta also will last months past a Best By date. Again, it needs to be sealed and checked for bugs. Meats are harder to check. Freezer burn can ruin the taste but, it can be trimmed off. Fat will go rancid even frozen. I use a vacumn sealer and I have meats from 2016 that are as good as the day I bought them. Fresh vegies can be perked up with ice water. Mold on cheese can be cut away and stale bread is perfect for toasting. Home canned goods will show a lot of bubbles and rust on the lids when they are bad as will store bought cans. So home canned foods last for 6 - 7 years also.
The coffee should still be good.
Such values are common amongst people who grew up during the Depression and WWII, also those who grew up 'dirt poor'. This leads to hoarding and food poisoning all to often, especially with age or illness.
You are ahead of the game as thou have identified your demon and recognize it as beyond the norm. You also know where you got that thinking from.
So, if possible, don't trash it. Coffee grounds are great for gardens. If you personally can't use it for composting or around plants, donate it to someone who can.
As a general rule, start donating to various organizations. Ones your Mom may have a connection to might be best to start.
See if you can find a neighbor, group, or organization that composted. They can take a lot and will know to toss things like canned goods that might have lead leaches from the seal, or botulism.
Nicer things can go to a resale shop...like dress clothes, old costumes, holiday decor, etc.
Next level is Goodwill, Salvation Army, Church Mission, etc.
The advantage is two fold. It is not being wasted! You are sharing it with those in greater need...being your brothers keeper. It is being put to good use...and if it goes to resale you get $ for it, charity a tax deduction. (Odds are she no longer benefits from itemizing, but she is likely unaware. Also you can donate in the name of someone who would benefit.)
Next Charities or Food Banks will sort out items that are unsafe. They generally have guidelines on how long the shelf life is beyond the Use By Expiration, or Best By Dates. This takes the safety issue out of your hands.
Start small...the bag with Coffee. Gradually make it part of the routine.
Organize the cupboards as space opens up and move things to the front...like the stores do. Also the extra air space in the frig & freezer will allow better air circulation, using less electricity. It will also allow her space to take advantage of sales, fresh food from farm stands, or the bumper crop from neighbors gardens. I never grow zucchini or tomatoes because there is always someone giving away their extras so they won't spoil.
You will start to feel better as you reduce, reuse and share. As you make this a habit, you will not have so much expired food, etc.
If you have to move or downsize, you will be glad you have done this. It will save a lot of work and money. Remember your time is valuable!
I keep some just-past-prime canned foods if they’re vacuum-sealed. I just cleaned out my freezer to get rid of a few freezerburned/old items, but frozen veggies last a long time.
The coffee is probably good. Next time you’re ready to start a new can, open one of your mom’s and take a sniff. If it’s rancid, it should smell rancid. If it’s not, stick it in the freezer and use as needed. You can give the other can to a food bank.
You've heard that expression that "we all become our parents" at some point...