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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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You have not failed, but you do need to seek some help. Feeling like you are responsible just shows that you're wrought and tired. Talk to a social worker/psychologist, family and or friends. People age, they become fragile, imobile, sick. We help them and care for them, but it is not our fault when the deterioration gets too much and they need to go into a care facility. It is not your fault. Feeling guilt doesn't help the situation, it just shows how tired you are and how close to everything you are. Have a rest when you can and don't blame yourself. The experts will tell you if its safe for her to come home, make sure to express your concerns too.
Both the symptoms of “cognitive decline AND becoming a fall risk, can happen over a longer period of time OR OVERNIGHT, and it is often difficult to predict what symptoms you are seeing.
”Guilt” is a useless reaction to problem solving, and it often requires some calm objective reflection to get to a reasonable re-set for both your mother and yourself.
While she is under supervised hospital care, request a screening assessment of her current level of functioning.
What she is saying, and what she wants, may (or may NOT) be relevant to what she NEEDS in order to continue to live safely and as healthfully as possible.
You are NOT, and no one is, able to perform miracles.
LEARN WHATEVER YOU CAN about why she’s falling.
You ARE doing the right thing if you remain calm, as objective as you can, and engaged with the professional input you receive.
Many of us have lived this, and we’re here for you.
It’s not your fault. Elderly people fall with someone standing right next to them. Sometimes they fall when they are using a walker for support too. So, please don’t blame yourself.
You might ask the staff if they feel physical and occupational therapy would help.
In order for her to have rehab services covered in a facility, she will need to be an admitted (not observation status) patient for 3 nights.
Try to get her status changed to admitted.
Then talk to the dishcarge folks about getting her to in-patient rehab. Thereapy can help with stamina, balance, learning to use a walker and other Activities of Daily Living (ADLs).
Emphasize that it would be an "unsafe discharge" to send her home as she will be there alone.
I was thinking the same thing, Barb. Try your very best to get mom admitted.
I used to throw a mini "fit" in the ER with my mother, making them say the words to me : "yes, she's being admitted" just so she could be placed in rehab to get her strength back.
My late husband was a fall risk and fell quite a bit even with me being in the house with him. One cannot be right next to a person 24/7, and even if we could, they still could fall with us right next to them. So no you did not fail your mom. She's obviously having some issues, so the best thing to do is to find out why she is falling and then do what you can do to get her the help she needs. I wish you both the very best.
Medicare only covers inpatient stays greater than 2 days in some cases. Make sure your mom's stay is at least 48 hours or she may be on the hook for part of the cost. Sounds like she is "unsafe" as others have noted.
There’s no way you failed her. Please accept that falls are just the curse of the elderly and will happen no matter what you do. My dad had many nasty falls, some of them when I was literally right next to him, and there was nothing to prevent it from happening. Now is the time for gathering information from doctors and the hospital social worker, find out what they think is the safest plan for your mom, what exactly her diagnosis is, and where they see this going, whether therapy will be useful, and please let them know she will need more help than just you. That’s not you failing, it’s mom’s needs increasing as the natural course over time. I wish you both peace
LynnCat, Welcome to Forum. I was just mentioning to another poster that we have so many new members with questions.
I think while your Mom is hospitalized now its a good time for a thorough examination of the reasons for these falls. Rehab may also be a good idea, as there PT can assess whether this is a matter of weakness and illness or an issue of balance.
You say you live with your Mom, so I know you will already have assessed your home for issues that may cause falls (loose carpet etc). Have you found any reasons for these falls you can identify?
Wishing you luck. Try to see a SW while you are there to discuss discharge planning and issues that worry you regarding homegoing.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
People age, they become fragile, imobile, sick. We help them and care for them, but it is not our fault when the deterioration gets too much and they need to go into a care facility.
It is not your fault. Feeling guilt doesn't help the situation, it just shows how tired you are and how close to everything you are. Have a rest when you can and don't blame yourself.
The experts will tell you if its safe for her to come home, make sure to express your concerns too.
”Guilt” is a useless reaction to problem solving, and it often requires some calm objective reflection to get to a reasonable re-set for both your mother and yourself.
While she is under supervised hospital care, request a screening assessment of her current level of functioning.
What she is saying, and what she wants, may (or may NOT) be relevant to what she NEEDS in order to continue to live safely and as healthfully as possible.
You are NOT, and no one is, able to perform miracles.
LEARN WHATEVER YOU CAN about why she’s falling.
You ARE doing the right thing if you remain calm, as objective as you can, and engaged with the professional input you receive.
Many of us have lived this, and we’re here for you.
You might ask the staff if they feel physical and occupational therapy would help.
Best wishes to you and your mom.
Try to get her status changed to admitted.
Then talk to the dishcarge folks about getting her to in-patient rehab. Thereapy can help with stamina, balance, learning to use a walker and other Activities of Daily Living (ADLs).
Emphasize that it would be an "unsafe discharge" to send her home as she will be there alone.
I used to throw a mini "fit" in the ER with my mother, making them say the words to me : "yes, she's being admitted" just so she could be placed in rehab to get her strength back.
So no you did not fail your mom. She's obviously having some issues, so the best thing to do is to find out why she is falling and then do what you can do to get her the help she needs.
I wish you both the very best.
I think while your Mom is hospitalized now its a good time for a thorough examination of the reasons for these falls. Rehab may also be a good idea, as there PT can assess whether this is a matter of weakness and illness or an issue of balance.
You say you live with your Mom, so I know you will already have assessed your home for issues that may cause falls (loose carpet etc). Have you found any reasons for these falls you can identify?
Wishing you luck. Try to see a SW while you are there to discuss discharge planning and issues that worry you regarding homegoing.