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Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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This can mean a decline. The belligerence, is it preceded by a task that he now finds frustrating or more difficult to do? If so this might be the way he can communicate his frustration. It can be a sign of other medical conditions as well. A UTI is one of the easiest things to check for. It can be that a small stroke has caused damage to a particular area of his brain. This is something that you should contact his doctors office about. If the belligerence becomes violent then you need to protect yourself first. Leave the room. (If it is safe for him and for you to do so) Call 911 if necessary. Tell the dispatcher the situation. Explain that the person has dementia and you need him to be transported to the hospital. there are medications that can help with the anxiety,
I can relate. My 89 year old dad is becoming like this (has pancreatic cancer and possible dementia). It’s heartbreaking and very stressful, I cry a lot. I just spoke with a good friend of mine, who’s a nurse and she told me this 1) this can be normal, as your loved one is no longer the same person, their cognitive brain function may be affected 2) though it’s hard try very hard to not take their verbal abuse personally, they don’t mean it 3) ignore them and when they are belligerent walk away, distract, deflect the argument. Do your best to not engage in it, it takes two to argue so let them talk and walk away 3) if they show sign if confusion bring them to ER most of all take care of yourself and know you are doing your best
This could mean that he has taken another step down in his dementia journey. It does happen in some cases where the person with dementia gets meaner. It could be his response to knowing that he is progressing and that's the only way he knows how to express himself, so the important thing for you to remember is to stay calm, and try and be nice and sweet, as often people with dementia, tend to mirror our moods and attitudes. If we stay nice and friendly, they most likely will too. I of course had to learn that the hard way with my husband, and hard as it was sometimes, it made my life much easier if I didn't respond to his negativity, with my own negativity. You may want to give that a try and see if that doesn't help. And if it doesn't as with most steps down in dementia, this too will pass, and you will be on to the next. You also must start doing some fun things for yourself, and not just the essentials. If that means hiring some outside help, so you can get away for a few hours every week, then do it. You're worth it. That too will help with your attitude and give you more strength and patience for the journey, as it it not an easy one. God bless you.
Thanks for this advice!! I am still learning—the hard way—how to deal with it. Being an outspoken person I often made the mistake of replying to his retorts and insults, now I fake it with sweetness and just ignore him. Nothing in life prepares you for this so it’s a steep learn it curve with lots of frustration! So grateful for this website and the kind people
Has he been checked for a UTI? Drastic mood changes, delirium, and even hallucinations can all be caused by an untreated UTI in the elderly. That’s the first thing I would rule out in a trip to his doctor. Regardless, the doctor should be made aware of this sudden change.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
The belligerence, is it preceded by a task that he now finds frustrating or more difficult to do? If so this might be the way he can communicate his frustration.
It can be a sign of other medical conditions as well. A UTI is one of the easiest things to check for.
It can be that a small stroke has caused damage to a particular area of his brain.
This is something that you should contact his doctors office about.
If the belligerence becomes violent then you need to protect yourself first.
Leave the room. (If it is safe for him and for you to do so)
Call 911 if necessary. Tell the dispatcher the situation. Explain that the person has dementia and you need him to be transported to the hospital.
there are medications that can help with the anxiety,
most of all take care of yourself and know you are doing your best
You may want to give that a try and see if that doesn't help. And if it doesn't as with most steps down in dementia, this too will pass, and you will be on to the next.
You also must start doing some fun things for yourself, and not just the essentials. If that means hiring some outside help, so you can get away for a few hours every week, then do it. You're worth it. That too will help with your attitude and give you more strength and patience for the journey, as it it not an easy one. God bless you.