Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Remember that their short-term memory may not permit them to remember what you are doing when the two of you are part way through a task, such as a bath. People have found it effective to keep chatting throughout the task, as the continued connection and reassurance of a soothing tone helps the person with dementia stay calm in a situation they would otherwise find threatening.
************************ Obviously, your husband will need help with bathing & grooming as things progress. Hating to shower and groom is a sign that his dementia is further along than you realize. Watch Teepa Snow videos on YouTube for more detailed instructions on how to handle a dementia patient in the shower, and in general; she's a wonderful teacher on the subject, as well as an expert.
The 36 Hour Day is another useful reference type book to have on hand; it will answer a lot of questions that crop up on a daily basis.
There will be a lot of 'hassles' as DH continues to progress and advance with his dementia, so it's important that you get out of the house and have some respite time. Hire in home caregivers to stay with him when you do leave, and look into Memory Care Assisted Living as a back up if and when it becomes necessary to place him.
Dementia behavior can be difficult & frustrating to deal with, that's for CERTAIN! It's important for you to realize that DH is now limited in what he's capable of doing & remembering to do, & is not intentionally trying to be difficult.
I suggest you read this 33 page booklet which has the best information ever about managing dementia and what to expect with an elder who's been diagnosed with it.
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Jennifer is a nurse who worked for many years as an educator and counsellor for people with dementia and their families, as well as others in caring roles. She addresses the emotional and grief issues in the contexts in which they arise for families living with dementia. The reviews for her books are phenomenal b/c they are written in plain English & very easy to read/understand. Her writings have been VERY helpful for me.
The full copy of her book is available here: https://www.amazon.com/Thoughtful-Dementia-Care-Understanding-Experience/dp/B09WN439CC/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2E7WWE9X5UFXR&keywords=jennifer+ghent+fuller+books&qid=1657468364&sprefix=jennifer+ghent%2Caps%2C631&sr=8-2
From this booklet on the subject of bathing & grooming:
Grooming and bathing are disrupted when the person forgets how and when to do things. They may forget what the steps of washing are. They may forget that they need to wash. They may be unable to remember how much time has elapsed since they last washed or changed their clothes. They may also believe that they are clean and take offence should anyone suggest otherwise. Dealing with such situations in a manner that is kind and jovial, rather than confrontational, is important. One fellow, who needed to help his wife bathe as she was no longer able to do so herself, was puzzled because she was calm and cooperative until he helped her step out of the bathtub, and then she became agitated and wanted to get covered up immediately. As it turned out, as soon as she saw her own reflection in the mirror, she thought there was another person in the bathroom, and she was embarrassed. As you can see, the cause of the distress for a person with dementia is not always readily apparent to the rest of us, who can take intact thought and reasoning for granted.
If a person with dementia is looking at a solid black area, or a solid white area, such as a bathtub, they may perceive a yawning bottomless hole. Putting a colored bath mat down may increase the likelihood that they would be willing to step into the tub. Putting blue food coloring into the water may allow them to see what they are stepping into as well. Generally, with altered depth perception, it becomes challenging to judge how high, deep, long, wide, near or far things are.
If you send clear signals through your tone of voice, facial expression and relaxed and confident attitude, that you mean them no harm, they may trust you to the point where you are able to help them with their personal care. People with dementia become extremely sensitive to the body language of others, as they no longer possess the judgment and insight to understand the situation, so they evaluate the threat posed to themselves by the frown or aggressive stance of the other. It is important to exaggerate your body language communication to let the person with dementia know that you intend them no harm. A smile on your face, a relaxed tone of voice and body stance, a sense of calmness and reassurance, perhaps a hug, all communicate that you mean to help, not harm. If you feel like you’re overdoing the positive body language, you are communicating your intent effectively for a person with dementia.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I found that it was easier for me to get mom to shower when I had an aide provide assistance. Mom was less likely to tell someone else no.
My mom had an awful fear of falling in the shower. The aide had experience and was very patient and compassionate with my mother.
Remember that their short-term memory may not permit them to remember what you are doing when the two of you are part way through a task, such as a bath. People have found it effective to keep chatting throughout the task, as the continued connection and reassurance of a soothing tone helps the person with dementia stay calm in a situation they would otherwise find threatening.
************************
Obviously, your husband will need help with bathing & grooming as things progress. Hating to shower and groom is a sign that his dementia is further along than you realize. Watch Teepa Snow videos on YouTube for more detailed instructions on how to handle a dementia patient in the shower, and in general; she's a wonderful teacher on the subject, as well as an expert.
The 36 Hour Day is another useful reference type book to have on hand; it will answer a lot of questions that crop up on a daily basis.
There will be a lot of 'hassles' as DH continues to progress and advance with his dementia, so it's important that you get out of the house and have some respite time. Hire in home caregivers to stay with him when you do leave, and look into Memory Care Assisted Living as a back up if and when it becomes necessary to place him.
Best of luck to you both.
I suggest you read this 33 page booklet which has the best information ever about managing dementia and what to expect with an elder who's been diagnosed with it.
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Jennifer is a nurse who worked for many years as an educator and counsellor for people with dementia and their families, as well as others in caring roles. She addresses the emotional and grief issues in the contexts in which they arise for families living with dementia. The reviews for her books are phenomenal b/c they are written in plain English & very easy to read/understand. Her writings have been VERY helpful for me.
The full copy of her book is available here:
https://www.amazon.com/Thoughtful-Dementia-Care-Understanding-Experience/dp/B09WN439CC/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2E7WWE9X5UFXR&keywords=jennifer+ghent+fuller+books&qid=1657468364&sprefix=jennifer+ghent%2Caps%2C631&sr=8-2
From this booklet on the subject of bathing & grooming:
Grooming and bathing are disrupted when the person forgets how and when to do things. They may forget what the steps of washing are. They may forget that they need to wash. They may be unable to remember how much time has elapsed since they last washed or changed their clothes. They may also believe that they are clean and take offence should anyone suggest otherwise. Dealing with such situations in a manner that is kind and jovial, rather than confrontational, is important. One fellow, who needed to help his wife bathe as she was no longer able to do so herself, was puzzled because she was calm and cooperative until he helped her step out of the bathtub, and then she became agitated and wanted to get covered up immediately. As it turned out, as soon as she saw her own reflection in the mirror, she thought there was another person in the bathroom, and she was embarrassed. As you can see, the cause of the distress for a person with dementia is not always readily apparent to the rest of us, who can take intact thought and reasoning for granted.
If a person with dementia is looking at a solid black area, or a solid white area, such as a bathtub, they may perceive a yawning bottomless hole. Putting a colored bath mat down may increase the likelihood that they would be willing to step into the tub. Putting blue food coloring into the water may allow them to see what they are stepping into as well. Generally, with altered depth perception, it becomes challenging to judge how high, deep, long, wide, near or far things are.
If you send clear signals through your tone of voice, facial expression and relaxed and confident attitude, that you mean them no harm, they may trust you to the point where you are able to help them with their personal care. People with dementia become extremely sensitive to the body language of others, as they no longer possess the judgment and insight to understand the situation, so they evaluate the threat posed to themselves by the frown or aggressive stance of the other. It is important to exaggerate your body language communication to let the person with dementia know that you intend them no harm. A smile on your face, a relaxed tone of voice and body stance, a sense of calmness and reassurance, perhaps a hug, all communicate that you mean to help, not harm. If you feel like you’re overdoing the positive body language, you are communicating your intent effectively for a person with dementia.
Continued...............