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My grandmother wants to move to a better facility. She is of sound mind, has no memory loss diagnoses and is still in control of all her faculties. She knows the day, date and year. She feels she is being mistreated where she is. She wants to move to a different facility where she will hopefully be better cared for and treated better. This facility she is in now has been under investigation for harming their patients and has very low inspection reports. Honestly, it's the worst in the area. Can her POA stop her from choosing a different nursing home and moving to the facility of her choice?

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I agree that a competent principal can act on their own behalf in changing facilities or designating a replacement POA.

The existing POA can likewise resign and return all responsibilities to a competent principal.

So if the existing arrangement has been handling your grandmother’s affairs well, she may want to consider how best to get the existing POA to accept any change as a good idea before one of them finds it necessary to “fire” the other.

I can only speculate as to why changing facilities would be problematic. Is your grandmother already on Medicaid LTC and do both facilities easily accept Medicaid?

Serving as POA can be a lot of work and is too often unappreciated by a parent who would prefer to be independent, whether or not that is actually possible.
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OP:
If she’s really of sound mind, she can FREELY leave. She doesn’t need POA’s approval. And you don’t need POA’s approval.

You can help get her out. Find another facility, if you want to help. Since she’s of sound mind, she has full access to her own money. If you want, help her set up her money so she pays a new facility.

If she has dementia (but it’s only mild), she’ll still be considered mentally competent. You can help her revoke the old POA, and make you POA, so you can help more easily, also in the future.
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Frebrowser Jul 2023
I am concerned that there is no real money to manage if she is on LTC Medicaid after being in the nursing home for 3 years.

If the better facilities are reluctant to accept new residents that can’t private pay for a while, it might explain the claim that “she can not leave this place or she will lose the place to live”
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If your grandmother is of sound mind, and not judged or diagnosed incompetent under the law she can assign another POA in the stead of the current one. Does she not know that?

So grandmother needs to inform her POA what you told us she feels, and that she would like to leave her current place and try another one. The POA can help your grandmother visit and investigate other places.

A POA is OBLIGATED under the law to follow the instructions of the Principal who assigned them as POA. It is only when a Principal becomes mentally incapacitated that he/she can no longer make his/her own decisions.
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No, she can’t be stopped. She is of sound mind and can do as she wants.
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Some of the issues you mentioned relate to family not visiting.

Many issues relate to your Grandmother's hearing impairement.

Moving location will not fix or change the issue of non-vsiiting family or hearing.

But much can be done.

Has your Grandmother complained about her food choices?
If so, I would ask to assist her to pre-complete her menus for the week when you visit. Kitchen staff should habe the week's menu. Many places also have a visual menu.

Bringing Grandmother a small whiteboard, pen & eraser may help her communicate with staff & residents. Does she lip read well? Are staff still wearing face masks? (That can be hard).

I would locate a local Hearing Society Service & call up for their advice.
Maybe they have tips & tools that may help her? (Just as the Vision Society has talking clocks & magnifying glasses etc).

I certainly inderstand wanting the best care for your much loved Grandmother!

Unless you can work together with the POA your hands may be tied in moving - the POA may see you as complaining & interfering, not part of solutions..?

But by listening to Grandmother, finding out what is important to her, seeing what can be done to improve those things - you will become her best Advocate.

This will help her.
It will make you feel useful.
Maybe even change your dynamic with thr POA. Show you are not enemies, but on the same team.
Team G'ma ❤️
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why would her poa want to stop her?


That said, no they cannot.
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frustrated33 Jul 2023
I wonder how a person would get a private room made medically necessary? Grandma has just very recently lost her hearing and her vision is not completely gone. She sees right directly in front of her. Couldn't she get a private room deemed medically necessary if that is how she has been living which would be the normal living conditions she is used to.?
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It doesn't sound like she needs a designated POA at this time, if she's of sound mind. So she should do what she chooses with her resources .
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Has your Grandmother explained why she feels she is being mistreated?

Does she have specific examples?
Issues you can take to management to address?







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Eg Is it lack of personal care assistance? Or lack of activities? Rude staff? Substandard food?

"my aunt has put grandma in a nursing home going on 3 years ago".

People don't usually move into nursing homes if they are of sound mind, capable body & still independant. What was your understanding of why Grandma moved in?

If there is a nicer place she has heard of & can afford, could she independantly arrange a tour? If not, if she needs help to do that then it reasonable her POA is involved.
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anonymous1732518 Jul 2023
Your 5th paragraph, what about ones who need rehab?
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If she is of sound mind why is there a POA that has assumed the role?
If she is of sound mind she can do what she wishes.
Side note if the POA has jumped the gun and taken control already I would probably change POA, I would at least have my attorney send a letter informing the over eager POA to back off.
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I think there is more going on here than we know. Perhaps frustrated 33 isn't privy to all the information, either.

If your mother was only close to one of her children, then why did she choose to move away from that child?

If grandmother is in full possession of her mental faculties, then why and how did aunt move her to a nursing home?

OP, what did you give up to move to OK? Do you work? Where do you live? I hope you aren't sacrificing your life there to sit with your grandmother in the NH every day?
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frustrated33 Jul 2023
Grandma wanted to be closer to her other kids and their families but none of them visited her when she lived in the senior apartments or the assisted living place. Grandma told me that my aunt picked her up one day from my other aunts house-she was living with her then-told her to pack a bag and took her to this nursing home and told her that it was her home now. She does have all her faculties so not sure about that and my mom will not tell me that.
I have been disabled this year is 20 years so no i do not work. I moved me and my rv up here and go see grandma as much as i can. Which is like 3-4 times a week til my truck broke down now I can only go when I find someone to take me. I live 20 miles from her. she does have a white board that is how i communicate with her.
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