Follow
Share

Is it wise to bring her to the house while in The middle of cleaning?? What if she sees the garbage pile outside.. All her knick knacks are being boxed up, and her princess house crystals,boxes and boxes full.. Books up the @$$ that she hasn't read.. overwhelming big pile of messes in every room...

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
No don't bring her to the house, that would cause stress and anguish for all of you for no benefit.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

No definitely do not bring her. She is a hoarder and her reaction to it won't be gratitude, it will be rage and distress. Don't even show her pictures of it. You can tell her a therapeutic fib, like you're only doing what the [ city, HOA, Dept of Health, etc ] has ordered you to do, but try not to even dwell on the topic at all. Redirect or distract the conversation. Hoarding is a mental disorder that requires therapy to overcome. Nothing about it is about hygiene, cleanliness, order or reason/logic.

The friend should be hiring a company that specializes in cleaning up hoards and paying for it out of their Mother's funds.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

As other have said, absolutely not. I just wanted to weigh in with my support because I am currently cleaning out my mother's hoarder house. It is an absolutely monumental and overwhelming task. If my mother were here she would agonize over every item, even if ruined.

Since his mom is in AL maybe you could decorate her room with a few favorite pieces and give her some books, quilts, etc.

The goal is to empty - I donated books to our library book sale, personal care items to senior center, holiday items to church for upcoming holiday sales, and lots to Goodwill and other charities. I'm sure a lot could be sold if there was time to research items' values and advertise. But time is money, and overall selling hasn't paid off much with all the legwork.

I have had a lot of help, 2 x 30 yard dumpsters (in addition to 5+ we have had in the past), a huge estate sale, and it still looks like a completely overpacked house - just no longer a junk heap. I wish your friend and you the best.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

There is literally no possible positive outcomes to bringing her. None.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

NO!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

No
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

No, I would not advise bringing her back into the home while her home is being cleaned. Horders usually have an anxiety disorder/compulsion to hoard. It becomes overwhelming for them to see others moving/handling their hoard. And seeing most of her things outside in piles of trash would NOT be healthy for her to see. I would just assure her that her valued possessions are being cared for and boxed up carefully.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

No, No NO!

Every single thing she sees, she will want. Hoarders have no sense of something that's truly usable and valuable and junk.

My mom kept 50+ years worth of Publisher's Clearing House envelopes, thinking that when she won, she'd have to prove who she was.

That's the tip of the iceberg.

She'll be mad when she does go back and see an empty house--so maybe don't ever take her back.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

NO!!!!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I guess u got the point by now, No.

I would have an estate sale of her good stuff and furniture. For my MIL POA had one. He hired a woman to get everything set up. She took 30% of the proceeds and $300 to get the house cleaned for sale. My SIL and I cleaned out the trash. DH cleaned out magazines she hoarded. He did 20va bundle and the took up a carspace. I cleaned out the frig, expired stuff and her pantry of outdated food and spices. Straightened up the cabinets.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter