I am scared . He is in a nursing home for his care, they are on lockdown because of Covid 19 . He is depressed and just wants to come home and die. My heart is broken. What makes it harder is I am in Florida , he and my siblings live in Pennsylvania. And two of my three siblings need to "grow up" a bit and stop being selfish. They focus on the money , how much things cost, (which I know is important) but my brother does not want to help, my middle sister barely helps, my oldest has very broad shoulders and is caring the weight of everything. I help as much as I can but I live in Florida and I am battling some of my own health issues.
We have a meeting tomorrow to discuss my father's continued care and they tell me he qualifies for Hospice. I am scared this is the end, he refuses and further transfusions.
You say dad is depressed. Is that being treated?
I think the isolation and restrictions going on right now are especially depressing for elders in rehab centers and nursing homes.
Please ask for his depression to be evaluated and treated when you meet tomorrow.
I'd like to share a Teepa Snow video that I found very helpful
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNJxq4J5kYY
Does he have a living will? Does he expect to be kept alive with extreme measures or prefer to let nature take it's course?
Is he competent to now decide to not do anymore transfusions? If he's competent, I think he's allowed to make that decision.
I agree with comment on finding out WHY is he anemic? Instead of keeping on doing transfusions, why is it happening? Perhaps there is a less invasive treatment that can help keep his numbers up.
Going home to die is something many people say they want, but I'm not sure if it's always a good idea. Is there someone that is able to take care of him if he goes home on hospice?
79 isn't wicked old but he does appear to have a lot of issues and it might be valid for him just to be done with it all. Sorry.
I also believe that we as loved ones should honor that.
It is clear that Dad is accepting the idea of death and that he wants a say in how that plays out for him. Instead of trying to talk him into continuing treatment maybe you all could tell him you will support him with love, if that is his choice. Ask him how he wants to spend his days and assure him you will do what you can to help him.
I hope this does not offend.