I sent her money for the cremation and she hold told me he wanted his ashes scattered by the lake where we grew up and his mom worked. My step-sister has the ashes and a couple years later, I still don't have a copy of the death certificate. I asked her again not too long ago but still nothing. I really would like to take care of my dad's ashes so he can be buried in the same cemetery where my brother is (for free). They were both in the Army. I'd still scatter a few and would like to get a piece of jewelry made like I did with my mom. Any suggestions? I am way out West but next year my 50th class reunion will be in the place where he wants them scattered. I would just have to go get them from her.
Getting the ashes you will have to see your s-sister when you are in town. If she refuses or says that she does not have them then you can take that matter up with an attorney just know it will cost you.
Or if you want them sooner, send her a letter asking that they be sent to you if there is no response you could have an attorney draft a letter.
Just curious is there a possibility that she never picked them up from the Funeral Home? If she did not get them the Funeral Home has them. Might be worth calling and asking if they were ever picked up.
You have asked your step sister to cooperate with you and she hasn’t complied with your request.
I have no idea what anyone on this forum could suggest to you to help in thinking matter.
The only thing that I can think of is to show up at her house. Since you live far away this is inconvenient for you.
I certainly wish you luck in attaining your father’s ashes. Why can’t she send them to you? Did she give you a reason why she hasn’t given you his ashes?
Bad mojo man, bad mojo.
You are left with your precious memories of the love you two had for one another.
As to the death certificate, that is freely available for a very small fee from the county records office.
If you suspect you are the beneficiary of a Trust, that won't be published, but if this woman did have to file probate, that is a public record you can check on; it is filed with the courts.
If you suspect there was a trust that listed you as a beneficiary do consider a lawyer letter to this gal asking if you are a beneficiary of will or trust in the estate. That will settle it and keep you out of one another's hair.
I sure wish you well, and am very sorry for your loss.
I would not have sent her the money, I would have sent it to the funeral home doing the cremation. Plus, Dad did not have money to bury himself? Not even a life insurance policy? My ex remained on a shelf at the Funeral home for over 2 yrs because his sister did not pay.
How long would they have kept your ex’s ashes? Is there a point in time when they dispose of them?
I wonder how often this happens, where the ashes are not picked up by a family member or friend.
I picked up my brother’s ashes on the day that we had his graveside service