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Our septuagenarian mother (diagnosed with Alzheimer's last year) is currently eating one gallon of ice cream every 2 to 3 days. How have other families helped restrict / limit intake to reduce her risk of obesity, hyperlipidemia, hyperglycemia, dental caries, etc? It is her one joy in life so we also don't want to take that away from her.

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Dementia and Altzheimers is primarily caused by hyperinsulinemia and associated inflammation. This is directly caused by excess glucose from a diet full of carbohydrates and sugar. It is essentially type 3 diabetes. You should not feel guilty nor wrong for any attempts to provide a dementia/Altzheimers patient with a no sugar, low carb diet. New research is showing that a ketogenic and/or carnivore diet can reverse or slow Altzheimers and dementia, especially when combined with good sleep, exercise and sunlight.
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Anxietynacy Sep 7, 2024
I honestly know very little about the carnivore diet, but I feel like it could be extremely dangerous for anyone. And when I hear about it I get chills.
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With a loved one in end stage dementia who has lost 50lbs he can eat what ever he’ll eat whether a Little Debbie , ice cream, chicken nuggets or his fave frozen coke. In a terminal illness it truly doesn’t make a difference. .. not bs not cholesterol nothing. He loves his treats and due to lack of long term attention and memory he doesn’t know if he just had some or not. As a retired RN we practiced healthy eating and exercise but now we make memories as limited as they are and we just pull out an extra spoon and have alittle together as a family. There was one caregiver a few mo ago who’s dr said her LO was prediabetic… we have seen normals for a healthy person change to be lower making drs prescribe more meds. Just like statin drugs for cholesterol but we failed to realized our brains need fats to be healthy… are we increasing the Alzheimer’s as a result ? The verdict is prob still out . So mine eats what gives him pleasure and for me that is truly a happy moment I will chose to remember. Maybe next time I’ll throw some bananas and a few healthy chopped nuts and whipped cream on it with a cherry on top 😉👍🏻❤️
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Reply to Db2024
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It is her one joy in life.
so without it, no joy? Then let her have her ice cream.
When my father was slowly dying, we tried to keep him healthy. I was filling him full of sprouted green, lentil soup. all in the hope he would recover. He didn't . he loved ice cream. we let him have it rarely because it is so unhealthy. I don't think that it would have made a spot of difference.. only that he would have been happy in some way. Maybe less angry and abusive at least.
I know it is hard, but her life is never going to come back so now, sit with her and have ice cream, find the tasty healthier ones if it makes you feel better but her freedom to choose her life is over now, this is all she can choose.
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Reply to FarFarAway
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We know that it is frustrating. How is her diet otherwise? Is ice cream a substitute for real food? Is some added weight going to affect her mobility? What is her A1C? Does so much ice cream relieve constipation or cause diarrhea? At this point in her life having something that she truly enjoys overcomes most other concerns, but also check for other issues before doing anything else. Portion control might be as simple as filling bowls (like for leftovers and much bigger than ic ecream cups) and only leaving a few where she has access. Try to keep her calm. Never get angry or frustrated with her. Tell her that they are to make it easier for her. Maybe include some special flavors. Don't mention portion control. And if all are gone, before you bring more, apologize and tell her that youll try to do better. We do similar with my wife every day. Good Luck.
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Reply to MikeinTexas
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I am with the group who says “let her eat what she wants”
as long as she isn’t diabetic or has some other health issue where sugar and fat could be a problem.
if she is otherwise healthy then let her have ice cream. If you are concerned about the amount, then maybe try to control the portions. You can buy ice cream bars or portion out the ice cream. She may want more than 1 serving but I believe in the end she will eat Less.
Its very easy to eat a tub of ice cream that’s just staring at you in the freezer. All you need is a spoon and you can go to town and eat it all without thinking.
Let her have it. It what makes her happy and just don’t keep ice cream in half gallons. Portion it out.
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Reply to Monicaj0421
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I can only say do not worry about it. She is getting calories, she is enjoying herself and if you were at the end of your life journey would you want your food intake restricted? It's a hard concept to come to grips with but in the end it will ultimately not matter.
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BurntCaregiver Sep 6, 2024
@LindaSG

Yes, I believe I would want my food restricted unless my checkout time was looming very near.

I know what it's like to have been morbidly obese. With mobility issues this is going to cause a lot more pain and suffering than a little dietary restriction.

I was a homecare worker for 25 years. Let me tell you thin people with mobility issues and incontinence who don't have dementia are hard enough to keep clean and dry. Even with the best and most frequent hygiene care they still get skin breakdown, fungal skin infections, incontinence sores, UTI's, and yeast infections.

Add obesity to the job and the odds of getting these conditions really increase and hygiene care becomes impossible in private residence. Many times size is rhe deciding factor of why a person gets placed in facility care versus being kept in their home.

So yes, I'd rather have calorie restriction and die in my beautiful home then be allowed to stuff myself with ice cream in a nursing home.
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Your concern for your mother’s health is reasonable and admirable- we take care of the people we love. We try to do what’s best for them. Sadly, your mother is at the end of her journey and she is a person who gets to make her own decisions, as long as they don’t hurt anyone else or cause great harm. You have to switch your mindset to understand that loving and caring for her now means letting her live her last days as she wants. That said, perhaps you can buy smaller containers of ice cream so she doesn’t eat the whole carton in one sitting. But it’s all temporary. Mentally, start doing the work of letting her go. And let her enjoy the ride. It isn’t really about the ice cream- it’s about losing your mom - which you can’t control - so you are trying to control what you can. Just hug her and tell her what a great mom she was and make her smile. 😊
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Reply to NadineAnne
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Don't keep ice cream in the house! You can provide individual serving size treats so she still can enjoy her favorite safely
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Reply to JeanLouise
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Plain and simple. Don't allow her to eat a half-gallon of ice cream a day. You can give her ice cream several times a day, just not huge servings that equal a half-gallon a day or near to. She has to eat regular and healthy food as well. Much like with a child you can't let her eat a half gallon of ice cream. The same as you don't let the child eat a bag of candy for dinner.

Start getting her the single-serving individual ice cream cups. They're small servings so if she had five or six a day it wouldn't equal anywhere near the amount she's eating now. Get lower sugar and low-fat varieties along with different kinds of ice cream. Try giving her a couple of Weight Watcher's brand chocolate fudge pops instead. They're low-cal and low sugar. They're also really good.

Don't take her ice cream away from her. Just add some moderation and common sense to the servings.
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Reply to BurntCaregiver
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Allow her to eat what she wants. It brings her comfort. My mom is obsessed with potato chips. They are only here for a short time. Let your mom enjoy!
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Reply to Onlychild2024
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Let her eat what she wants.
If you are really concerned you could switch to a "lower fat, lower sugar" ice cream but I think the fake stuff is worse than the sugar and fats in the real stuff.
You could try freezing containers of yogurt. and give her containers of frozen yogurt.
There is also a product called "YoNannas" and you freeze bananas and put them through this thing and you get a "soft serve consistency" ice cream like product.
the Ninja Ice cream maker product allows you to make smaller portions of "ice cream" and you can make it how you want.
But all that said let her eat what she wants. I think at this point with a diagnosis of Alzheimer's the high LDL and other things you are worried about really are not going to shorten her life and by restricting you are are not going to extend her life.
If she does gain weight and it makes it more difficult for you to safely care for her there is equipment that can make it easier and safer for you and mom.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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I buy the chocolate covered ice cream on a stick from Walmart. They are only 110 calories each, and I keep a small supply in the upstairs freezer for my AD patient to help himself to and enjoy. The rest are stored in a basement freezer. He has to get up from his recliner to get himself one, and he does not ever go down the stairs to the basement when the supply is gone. I found when I kept half gallons of ice cream in the freezer he would fill the bowl to the brim. The smaller serving size of the ice cream on a stick definitely limits the amount he consumes.
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Reply to OldCaregiver121
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I would let her eat what she wants!
My dad w/PDD ate ALOT of ice cream over a period of 4 years after my mom died. He would go through 2 or 3 half gallons every week. Then he stopped…..I am not sure if it was due to the dementia progression, moving him from his home to ours, being fed more nutritious food consistently or he just lost the taste for it. It is hard to understand, but seems par for the course in this dementia journey!! Hope you find answers that help!! Have a blessed day!
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Reply to Bobbie61
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I think I would find options with less sugar content and less fat content, like a mildly sweet ice milk. As MargaretMcKen suggested, limit the quantity available to her. Allow her to indulge in this sweet treat, but when it's gone, she's done.

Can you determine if she is craving sweet, craving the milkfat, or craving ice?
Perhaps there is something else which will satisfy this craving. If she is not eating well during the day, maybe she really is hungry and filling her body's need for calories, and this has become her go-to habit.

Sorry, I don't have any suggestions for substitutes. But you seem to be a smart person and probably have connections, for instance consult with a dietician for ideas. From your name, it looks like you're a doctor? or a nurse?

I think her long-term prognosis is an important factor here. If she has Alzheimer's and her health is declining, how important is it to control her diet and her weight, or is she already in danger of serious complications from this indulgence? You'll have to weigh the benefits and risks to find a reasonable solution for her needs, while letting her have "her one joy in life".
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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My GFs mother has ALZ and she eats very little. But enjoys glass or three of wine and she never drunk before.
So will she become alcoholic or she dies because of it? Maybe, she is close to 90, but healthy otherwise may live another 10 years. Does it matter if alcohol is probably not good for her as she eats so little? Probably, but she enjoys it now!
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Anxietynacy Sep 2, 2024
Id say let her have the wine and enjoy. Just make sure if she gets sick and can't drink to tell the doctors, DTs, can be really bad for the aging
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I looked at a conversion site to see how much a US gallon is in litres - nearly 4 litres. That's almost 8 tubs of Ben & Jerry's ice cream.

I believe that anyone has the right to eat whatever they want, and I think that a person with a life-limiting disease shouldn't be dissuaded from eating even the most unhealthiest of foods.
However, such a high quantity of calorie dense food will cause major problems for both the person with Alzheimer's and whoever is caring for them due to weight related mobility issues.

If possible, try and swap the real stuff for the low sugar, low fat versions of ice-cream. Don't worry about any long-term effects of additives; there really isn't any point at this stage. However, do check for potential short-term ill-effects such as diarrhoea, which was mentioned in another reply.

If your mother will not be satisfied with the fake ice-cream, then you will have to limit your mother's access to ice-cream. This can only be done if you have POA, or if you have control another way.

I wouldn't stop serving ice-cream, but only do so at certain times and be stricter with portion control.
If your mum likes bananas, cooked apples, or tinned pairs, or any other soft fruit, I would serve this with the ice-cream to make it a big treat, but healthier.

If you do not have control over your Mum's food choices, then you need to try and get this as soon as you can.
Wishing you all the best.
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Anxietynacy Sep 2, 2024
Oh yeah, it's a lot of ice cream!
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You Can get ice cream Made with rice Milk Or coconut Milk at Trader Joes or these ice cream sandwiches called Mochi At TJ's - they are Healthy . My Mother towards the end would only eat Yoghurt .
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Igloocar Sep 2, 2024
These options are also usually quite high in calories. Also, as far as I can understand, coconut milk is now not considered to be a healthy option; I don't know about rice milk. Frozen yogurt might be a little better than ice cream if she is OK with eating it.
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Get individual serving cups of ice cream. Limit her intake to after lunch and after dinner. May have to lock freezer to insure she doesn't sneak extra. You then are indulging her preference while protecting her health.
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Reply to Taarna
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I have to agree with everyone here, let her eat what she wants. If you are worried about nutrition you can always make her a milkshake with her favorite ice cream and put some protein powder in it.
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Reply to Jhalldenton
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When I was a teenager I was 5'7" and 130 pounds at my heaviest. I had a healthy diet and exercised a lot with school sports. My Mom called me "fat butt" and allowed my brother to call me "chubs". She's 88 and has gained a lot of weight because all she wants is dessert. I won't play Food Cop with her because as long as she can enjoy something and make some decisions about what to eat or not I figure that's up to her. I secretly derive pleasure now that SHE'S the "fat butt". I'm 63 and I'm heavier now but I'm working on it. If my kids were to play Food Cop or interfere with what I want to eat it would damage our relationship.

I'm assuming you have a good relationship with your Mom and want her to stay alive as long as possible. That's commendable, but focus on other things. Average age of death is 79 in the U.S. - if she's in her 70s now, whatever you do will not extend her lifespan much.
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Reply to IneedPeace
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Basically, when we get into the youngsters trying to control our diet I rebel.
I am 82. If I want to eat an entire bag of Trader Joe's Original Potato Chips OR an ENTIRE box of ice cream sandwiches, that is up to ME.
PUH-LEEZE.
Am I not of an age? To decide WHAT I EAT and when? To decide how much?

Are you now the parent who will dole out the sweets?
Please kill me first.

I have to say, having thought long and hard on this one, having seem the "youngsters" now in their 60s trying to control our diets so we can live another 1/23 decade in misery? Why? What for?

l just ask you.
THINK ABOUT IT.
Please. I beg you. Please.
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Beatty Aug 30, 2024
Agree - but you are independant still Alva! So your biz! No-one elses.

My LO shops, buys, serves own icecream in own home. So her biz too. At home.

However, when out at a regular function where moring tea was served to many, this became a situation that needed 'food policing'. My LO would sit next to the shared biscuit plate & keep eating with no impuse control. There was a young man with TBI that would do same. Staff would never be harsh but would manage this discretely by serving individual portions to these people, then moving the plate out of reach & view of them. Requests for more would need delay & distract tactics.
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What stage is she in? If early stages she may be around still for a while and practically speaking will be much harder to get around or to be handled/assisted physically at a larger weight. Also may contribute to more health problems and doctor appointments for you both to contend with.
My mother and my father-in-law both preferred sweets as they got older. The big issue with my Mom was constipation and trying to get fiber and water down her. She forgot how little she drank.
Let her have the ice cream but maybe try making some shakes with milk or soy or nut or coconut milk added to the ice cream? Also, make some ice cream pops with some chopped frozen fruit added? Could be made with a lowfat yogurt as well. I fool myself with "banana nice cream" and "cherry nice cream"- puree chopped frozen fruit, and add avocados or nut butters for fat, some plain greek yogurt etc... Possibilities are endless, tasty and healthier. Best eaten right after made or frozen in smaller batches to set out and soften before eating. Make a batch and swap out between regular ice cream. Does she like sherbets, sorbets or gelato? Also often lower in calories. How about snow cones with flavored syrup?
They have just publicized that the artificial sweetener erythritol is causing blood clots so I personally would stay away from consumption of the sugar alcohols. Bless you both on this hard journey.
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Reply to Pjdela
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Why worry about your mothers health? She's already terminally ill, unfortunately. With AD and dementia, they love sweets. And ice cream is THE #1 comfort food on earth. Every time there's a crisis in our family, my daughter and I go out and buy ice cream to consume in mass quantities. True story.

In any event, buy pint size tubs of ice cream once a week and call it a day. If she cries for more, either deal with it or buy more.

Fwiw, I used to pray daily for God to take my mother who suffered from dementia. I'd bring her bags of chocolate and cookies at her Memory Care ALF because she loved sweets and had spent her whole life dieting. She ordered ice cream 2x a day, for lunch and dinner dessert. In her old age, she gained about 50 lbs. at least. So I bought her pretty clothes in bigger sizes.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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what were her wishes when younger? Did she say she she wanted to be as healthy as possible? Live as long as possible?
knowing what she wanted for later life might help you with this decision
can you switch it to lower fat, sugar free ice cream as a compro mise?
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Reply to strugglinson
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drbjoefnp, welcome to the forum. As we get older we tend to lose our sense of taste. I noticed that with my own Mom, who was in her 90's, per her grocery list.


My Mom had ice cream, Little Debbies, Hostess, a pie, chocolate chip muffins, anyway you get the picture. Yes, she had other food items on the list but it seemed she lived on sweets because she could still taste the sweetness. She lived to be 98. And, of course, my Dad was more than happy with the deserts :)
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Reply to freqflyer
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This is just me, but I feel that once someone hits age 75, they can pretty much eat, drink, or smoke as much as they want.
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Hothouseflower Aug 29, 2024
Yes that’s when I’m breaking loose 😁
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Idea: In an individual freezer bowl(s), or popsicle containers..I put fruit (your choice) in first and mix with Oikos vanilla 17g protein no sugar yogurt.
This yogurt tastes like cake frosting. So yummy!
You need to let it sit out about 15 minutes for the yogurt to soften before eating.
My husband is diabetic. He loves it.
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Reply to LadyBirdRose
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Not sure where she is with her diagnosis but she could be around for many, many years. The 20lb weight gain would concern me too with all the added medical problems (and the associated discomfort that comes along with it) that you may have to juggle along with the Alzheimer's.

Is she going out still and buying it for herself? Not much you can do except try to counsel her about it.

If someone is enabling her, stop it. There's a few good suggestions here about limiting her without taking it away. She SHOULD be able to enjoy it if she wants. I love ice cream. If I was dying and someone took it away I'd probably throw my diaper against the wall until I got it back.

If she's declining quickly and you believe she's going to pass away relatively soon I'd just let her have it. Hospice will enter the scene eventually and none of the other issues will matter anyway.
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Reply to Sha1911
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Ice cream maker for someone to make her own for her.
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MargaretMcKen Aug 29, 2024
How helpful to advise for another caregiver job!?
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I would substitute the gallon of presumably regular ice cream for low sugar and low fat half gallons or quarts, and include fruit in a sundae style, or incorporate fruit and protein powder into a smoothie or shake. Breyers makes a low carb low-fat option starting at 60 calories a scoop, compared to 340 calories for Ben and Jerry’s. The latter may make you fat; the former has fewer calories than an apple.
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LoopyLoo Aug 29, 2024
…. But be careful with low sugar or substitute sugar ice cream. Some of these artificial sweeteners will cause diarrhea. Like Niagara Falls. Don’t ask how I know.
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