My mother in the last 6 months has lost more than 30 lbs. Her mobility has decreased significantly, and in the last 10 days, can not move around by herself, she shuffles when walking. She cries a lot. Sleeps all night, and most of the day. Recently has nausea a good part of the day and is barely eating. She has some difficulty swallowing and gags when drinking. My dad is her primary caregiver and is at his wits end what to do with/for her.
Significant rapid weight loss, difficulty swallowing and persistent nausea: your mother's doctor needs to be told about these important clinical signs. The best way to make sure that happens is to take her yourself, I agree, although ideally with your father there too since he is her primary caregiver. If you're not able to attend the appointment, put your concerns in writing or on email and make sure the information reaches the doctor in advance.
This is urgent, do it as soon as you can. Even if it turns out to be bad news, your mother could still benefit hugely from effective symptom relief, so don't wait.
If your mom is having difficulty swallowing, especially liquids, she's going to get dehydrated very quickly. Is it hot in Montana this time of year?
Dehydration can be deadly in the elderly. That's why I would take her to the ER. Once she's rehydrated, they can figure out the rest.
But - here's another question - why is Dad "at wit's end'? She needs a medical evaluation, does he think he is supposed to solve all those problems himself without one, or that she is just willfully misbehaving? I guess I'm a little worried why he would have let it go on 6 months without medical attention. It might be that it is time for you to take on a more active role, that mom and dad need help making good decisions. It is a scary shift in responsibiilty for you, but that's part of the ball game here on AgingCare. Sorry this is happening and hope there are answers and things that can be done.
On a general point - though potentially relevant here - The Daily Telegraph carried a feature yesterday highlighting the important point that coronary failure *in women* is often overlooked because females can present with very different symptoms from normal - including nausea and indigestion, vomiting, shortness of breath, and back or jaw pain. Something to rule out, I hope, rather than one more thing to worry about.
If all physical reasons for her symptoms have been ruled out, I'd ask her doctor for a psych consult. Depression can cause a number of physical symptoms, such as headache, backache, nausea, trouble swallowing, dizziness, sleep disorder, feeling sick, crying, etc. My mom went through this and meds for depression and anxiety made a tremendous difference.
An urgent visit to her Dr is in order before you start thinking of funeral arrangements.
Make a list of all medical conditions past and present and an out line of family history, include any surgeries and approximate dates.
Have Dad keep a food diary for a few days so the Dr can see exactly what she is able to eat. He will also need to know if she has diarrhea or constipation and if there is any rectal bleeding (fresh blood or black tarry stools) Also a list of medications and any OTC supplements and herbals. This is very serious and she will probably need a lot of investigations to figure out exactly is wrong with her. 77 is not old these days so don't be put off with the "It's her age" answer. Once you have a diagnosis you Mom and dad can decide on what treatment if any she wants or can tolerate. Keep us in the loop everyone's experiences are helpful to others.
I can't imagine what your Mom has been going through the past six months. Wasn't anyone paying any attention? No wonder she is crying.
I feel badly for your mother; I'm guessing the hospital will keep her for multiple workups to find the source of her discomfort and problems.
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