Moms is in late stages of ALZ but still highly functioning in many areas, she just got a new roommate who is an invalid and has full-time aides; this lady moans, spit across the room, hits and screams 24/7. My mom is normally all smiles and happy go lucky. Not any more; she's crying daily, she doesn't understand all the noise, isn't getting any sleep and is a stark contrast to who she was the day before this lady moved in. I understand there's an adjustment period but is this normal procedure to 1. have a patient share a room with someone at the other end of the spectrum? 2. have a patient requiring 24/7 aides to share a room with my mom? and shouldn't they be paying 2/3 of the rent then since there's 3 people in the room 24/7? I understand the lady needs care but, I feel like it's to my mom's detriment; I had her at my house 8 hours yesterday and she didn't want to go back to the MCF. My mom has never done this before. Any suggestions on how to address this?
I would like to shout-out to Leolonnie1, Riverdale, WorriedInCali, Llamalover47 and others for calling out some insensitive and unrelatable comments that were left on this post. All your support is greatly appreciated, especially in challenging times. For the record, I do read all the comments and realize that some while unfortunate, will not be positive, supportive or even helpful and do for the most part I simply disregard them as the trash they are. Who needs the negativity? Nobody I know! Thank You Again to all of your Support! FloridaGirl6
Dont leave her there, that is abuse! Would you want to be there?
PS When you take her home hire girls with the money the NH was getting to sit with your mom to give you a break. Also the state will help too.
Also if your dad was a vet the vet admin will help pay for in home care, on yop of what the state helps you with....i like adult day centers too.
Dont ask me my opinion of nursing homes or my comment will be deleted by the mods!
And who are these girls? Perfectly suitable ones who happen to be just the right able bodied caretakers that are simply waiting to be hired. Are you aware that often many caretakers who are hired for home care do not necessarily always work out and it can be a process. And finally the state will help out. Just like that. Call up the state and say I need help for my mother who is now home from a NH. Please send me money ASAP. It must be great to live in your world of magical thinking!!
Good luck!
You should have went to administration & requested a room change...the other woman should have private room since she’s disturbing your mother. If it’s memory care, & she’s violent & abusive, they probably will suggest taking her to psych hospital for medication adjustment...& I bet they don’t take her back...that facility can’t handle her & they most likely made her getting private aides as an ultimatum for staying....but how long will private aides take abuse?
My mother’s abusive, too & it’s managed w medication. When she was in SNF, there were others there like her...
good luck & hugs 🤗
She was moved the following day, and has an absolutely wonderful roommate now.
Sounds mean but I think they should put someone who’s hard of hearing in rooms with those that make a lot of moaning noise etc.
I would tell no one, you gave them a chance to fix their wrong. Now you call in the authorities that can get this fixed. Oh and don't accept mom being moved as a solution. She is entitled to a safe environment and they have knowingly and willingly taken that away from her.
They can't deny knowing that she was a problem, she came with fulltime aides. That says it all.
Stand your ground and protect your mom and her rights. Be nice and smile when you are dealing with them, but keep them on the path of a move and not at some unknown future time.
while she was standing by the Xmas tree. No injuries but now feared Joan. Assuming adjustment still in progress, Joan reached over table and ripped up my sister's art work, her passion. After sending a "water on stone" (nice) EM to owner, his manager(lovely, sincere) called me immediately. They were well aware of Joan's behavior and Joan's family was dragging their feet with getting Joan evaluated. (No surprise!) The "office visit" became a "skype visit from her room with Valium given hours before visit.(new RX). BTW- I asked the manager
if they knew why Joan left her prior facility. "We didn't ask." BTW, other residents also feel fear... per family members. Skype and Valium? Bizarre!
I am sorry this is happening. First, file a complaint with the facility. The social worker there should be able to consult with you. Second, contact the regional Ombudsmsan that represents the location where the facility is located. This person can assist with advocating and providing information. Third, you can always contact the department of health in the state the facility is located.
If this was my family member, I would ask that the new roommate be moved to a different room. If they do not assist, I would look for another facility.
If you initiate the process, you can have the situation changed for the better as soon as feasible.
If you initiate the process, you can have the situation changed for the better as soon as feasible.
If you initiate the process, you can have the situation changed for the better as soon as feasible.
My grandmother's insurance would only do nursing home care post-rehab after breaking her hip. Mentally she was very much intact (but very anxious, which she'd been her whole life). At first, she had a pleasant roommate with the same situation, mentally fine but needing some care before going home. They kept each other company. Alas, roommate went home after a few weeks, and a new one was brought in.
All day and night, this woman talked. She never. stopped. talking. And it was pretty much the same thing on a loop, in a flat tone: "This is my room... in case you didn't know, this is my room....you're in my room.... I'm going to call Bill (her deceased husband) and tell him you're in my room.... this is my room...". It was enough to make us insane while just visiting and grandma's hands were shaky from nerves. My mother had to get the director to switch her out.
If she “just” got the troublesome new roommate it will probably serve you to document EVERYTHING in a notebook (or on your phone?).
Report a “potential” concern about your mother’s discomfort to nurse/floor admin./social services- find out who is responsible for your mother’s floor.
Try as much as you can to state the problems WITHOUT becoming emotional about your poor mother’s plight. Your case is much stronger by saying what you (and staff) can observe and describe the two other people doing rather than describe what it’s doing to your mother, at least initially.
Be “water on stone”, politely and quietly but firmly. If necessary describe how comfortable/contented/happy your mother was before the newcomerS arrived.
If you’re told that the staff is “working on a solution” as if there’s a timeframe.
Only ONCE in 5 1/2 years did I have to write a detailed letter about this kind of problem, copies to floor admin and facility admin, and the problem WAS solved.
You are a good daughter, and your mother’s comfort IS your business and IS important.