She's 91, in ALF, has pretty much giving up on living and has taken to sleeping. A LOT. Like she was still in bed at 4pm today. In a way I don't blame her, if I was miserable and couldn't do anything I wouldn't want to get up either.
If the staff tries to get her up it may take 4 of them, and she'll kick start to kick.
Yes, we've seen docs, she's on depression meds., etc. I have a more practical concern.
She overflows her Depends at night. Winds up with wet clothes, bedding. Can't be good for her skin to lay in that.
Is there an alternative to a diaper, that will help keep her dry?
She also needs regular adult diapers , not pull up type Depends .
Alf is no longer a high enough level of care for Mom .
My dad talked to me so at length about being exhausted with life. And he admitted he had a lucky and a wonderful life. My Mom and my Dad's love story the greatest outside Romeo and Juliet (and who knew what a life of family would have wrought THEM) I ever knew.
But at mid 90s he said he just wanted the last long nap. He was so very tired. He didn't want to be messed with. Just wanted to be allowed to go to peace.
Do try Hospice. They will know the best way to keep skin intact and to protect her, to suggest what will work best. I am so sorry. This is tough to see, but sometimes we just long for peace and an end to the long journey when we can no longer play it backward the other way, getting younger by the day.
Good luck. I hope you will have hospice care for the end.
I would consider the Purewick System. Look it up online. I believe that with the not wanting to move at all this may work for your Mom.
I would also consider Hospice now.
You mother is done with it. She wishes to go to the peace of death. I would allow her to do so without worrying now about food and mobility. This is the case with many elders. It is difficult for the young to understand. But it isn't unusual at all.
Discuss Hospice with her doc and make a decision for that or for palliative care. I wish you the very best. This is tragic to see, but it is where we all get to inevitably if we live long enough.