Mom with dementia suddenly violent. Can they kick her out of Memory Care?
Today I got a call from the Memory Care saying that my mother had "put her hands" on another resident and that they needed to notify me because an incident report needed to be filed and they wanted me to speak to my mother about not putting hands on anyone again. Since this was so out of character for her I immediately went to the home to talk to her and the aids that are taking care of her. I found out that what had actually happened was much worse than it sounded. Another resident who has been coming into my mother's room uninvited and found sleeping in her bed or going through her stuff had again come into my mother's room. I had told her previously when this happens she need to immediately go get the staff. She says they never do anything to stop this. Today it happens that Mom was in using her bathroom and the woman walked into her room. Mom told her to leave and the woman got very belligerent and swore at Mom. Apparently Mom had enough and "showed" this woman that she was not going to put up with her anymore. The aids had to stop her from throttling the woman. My question is can they say that because my mother is showing a violent tendency that she can no longer live there? Years ago when we tried to place my Dad no nursing home would take him because he would loose his temper and clock people. Fortunately he was eligible for the VA. He had dementia and Parkinson's. Mom has never reacted this way before and most everyone talks about how sweet she is. But I do see her getting worse with the dementia and fear this may be a new aspect that we may be looking at. I did ask if they could please try to keep this woman away from her as I do see just being in her presence agitates her. The woman's family are real bullies so I'm fearful they may try something themselves.
4 Answers
Popular Questions
Related Questions
- Can a patient who has Dementia and UTI's exhibit aggressive behavior and hallucinations?
- My mom has gone from sweet to "Hell on Wheels" in 2 days. Any suggestions?
- Mom has been displaying aggressive behavior when I suggest something or ask a question. Is this normal for Alzheimer's/dementia and what should I do?
- What are you experiences with crying and combativeness?
1) The other resident who apparently has dementia or cognitive problems and has NO BOUNDARIES and no ability to identify what is and is NOT hers.
2) How your Mom responded to the other resident being in your Mom's room.
The Memory Care staff and administration have to deal with BOTH ISSUES. They need to develop tactics that prevent or limit the other resident's ability to enter other residents' rooms without their knowledge or approval. And they need to develop tactics to assist your Mom in not using physical force to attempt to remove the other resident from your Mom's room.
This is not an easy situation. Some MCU allow residents to "wander" into other residents' rooms or sleep in other residents' beds or wear other residents' clothes without any reprimand or attempt to alter that resident's actions. You need to talk with the MCU Nurse Manager, the Social Service Director and the Administrator and tell them that the actions of the other resident are upsetting your Mom and that they need to find some way to change the other resident's behavior and to find some way to restrict the other resident from entering your Mom's room and prevent the other resident from sleeping on your Mom's bed ASAP.
I personally think it's great that your mom stood up for herself, they pay for their rooms, they should be able to feel like it's their space.
Your mother should not have to leave the facility for something that is not her fault. When my mother left her room, she would close her door and that did work to deter other residents from entering her room. She was on their radar because she showed combative tendencies, but not in a bad way. They just kept an “extra” eye on her.