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Angry, abusive, wants to leave, loss of independence.

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There is a period of adjustment to living in any new environment; especially a NH. My mother felt more secure and at home when pictures from home were on the walls, favorite bedspread; soft blanket, etc. and other items to make the room homey. She reacted the same as your mother has and this is quite common. But, the NH of today are not the ones of years ago. There were many activities to take part in if my mother wanted to and religious services held in the common area.

After becoming acquainted with all they have to offer and with the staff, it does get better. I do agree with not visiting too much as she needs to adjust without you being the object of her frustrations. Take care.
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Let her settle in. Sometimes they ask you to limit your visits for the first few weeks so she can acclimate to the new surroundings. If you are there every day she will throw tantrums and demand to leave and not focus on her new place and new acquaintances. It takes time.
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Don't stand around just to take abuse, certainly. Keep checking in with the staff, take their advice, take the time to plan a schedule for visiting that suits you once she's had a chance to settle in. Hope it gets better very quickly.
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