Mom moved back with us in May after brief, unsuccessful, stay at AL
Shes been declining for over a year since she had a fall Sept 2021
in August her Kidney failure reached Level 5, which happened quicker than previous changes. Doc, who I adore, referred Hospice. They’ve been coming weekly since beginning of Sept.
She has now stopped taking care of the dog, rarely changes out of jammies, won’t eat unless I make & serve, sleeps almost 18 hours (off/on). She’s obviously at End of Life stage now, but has been fairly “with it” along this pathway
until this week. She couldn’t recall my Dad’s name (passed in 2015, married 52 years)
then at 6:30 am my husband woke me, dog was barking so he went down to ck. Not in her room, living room or bathroom, Found her outside. She went down porch stairs, 3 cement, rollator in driveway, she’s on her rear end in garage. No idea how she got there. Oh, she had to have used the remote opener on garage door, again no clue how
she doesn’t remember going out, the stairs, nothing. She can barely walk, It’s mind boggling that she even physically could do any of this
Im in her room, hoping she’ll go to sleep, I’m anxious, frightened and concerned. Im gonna call hospice in a few, I’m wondering if it’s time for anxiety meds to help calm her?
lm thiinking it’s time for a hospice facility, or I need an overnight aide/caregiver?
Thoughts? Advice?
Good thoughts appreciated
When my LO entered AL, and quickly moved to MC, there was no safe viable alternative but to keep her in placement, so we quickly moved to Plan B, which included an evaluation by a good geriatric psychiatrist, who prescribed small doses of geriatric safe medications that stabilized her mood, reduced her anxiety level, and allowed her to participate in activities that she enjoyed.
Safety, peace, and comfort, with safety as a priority. You are doing the best you can, but it’s OK to admit that it’s time to allow her care to be done by experts whom you’ve chosen to do the job.
Talk to her doctor and the hospice team, consider all options, be open to co soldering ALL of their suggestions, then act.
I’m betting that you’ll choose a solution that will be the best you can find.
Can you please tell us why you took her out of AL? This info would be very helpful.
I also had a baby monitor. Since I am a light sleeper, I placed it right out of my bedroom door. Mom snoring kept me awake. But, I would be woken up if she was moving around. I live in a split level and Mom was in the old family room, bottom level. She had her own bath and entrance so easier to get her outside. Because of the stairs, I had a babygate at the foot of the stairs so she could not roam the house at night. I had 2 more flights of stairs. Could you place a baby gate at Moms bedroom door?
Be aware if you have Hospice done in a NH or Hospice house, Medicare does not pay for the cost of the facility. Only for the Hospice care. Does Mom seem anxious when she is awake? My Mom started humming which got worse as the days went on so she was medicated.
for those wondering, Assisted Living from12/21-5//22 was a joke. They didn’t respond to emergency wrist button when her BP dropped due to glucose issues. TWICE. They didn’t do her showers for 3 months. She couldn’t work remotes, phones, wouldn’t use her walker, dog wasn’t being taken care of properly. All she did was watch tv and sleep. Once she started missing meals cuz they didn’t remind her, we were done. Mismanagement and safety concerns plus cost did not show any worth
anyway
hospice put her on a small dosage anxiety med to help her sleep at night. No one here really answered my question about Meds, folks here were more concerned why she wasn’t in a facility. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
cuz my ducks are in a row is my answer. My decision are well thought out with logical discussions, research and pro/con conversations with all involved.
so I guess I just trust Hospice recommendations and my own research rather than looking for additional real life experience advice.
We baby proofed house, knob covers, interior door alarms, baby gates, baby monitor. We’ve had no additional issues.
Her end of life progression continues, each day she declines a bit more.
What we find here is that different situations work for different elders. My mother had a great experience with Memory Care Assisted Living and hospice services coming in to see her there. I never could have handled her level of needs at home, but it's awesome that you feel equipped to do so for your mom. I pray that she has a smooth transition when the time comes, and that God helps both of you through the process with mercy and grace.
Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation.
I’m not familiar with various meds and what they would accomplish, I’m looking for guidance on that option and/or overnight care. I’d rather that than NH or hospice inpatient