She is a widow of a WW II veteran. After having RA for all of her adult life, she does have some nerve damage, physical disfigurement, severely compromised joints and still active inflammation that make everyday living very difficult in terms of mobility. She does utilize a walker. However, she has not gotten to the point yet that she needs a daily caregiver, or to be in an assisted living facility. Would she be able to qualify for assistance from the VA?
Aid & Assistance
http://www.benefits.va.gov/pension/aid_attendance_housebound.asp
Survivors or "Death" Pension
http://www.benefits.va.gov/pension/spousepen.asp
http://www.benefits.va.gov/pension/spousepencalc.asp
Meanwhile, since your dad was a WWII vet, if he died of a condition that can be related back to his time in service, your mom may be eligible for Dependency Indemnity Compensation. Gaining this benefit will require a disability claim on the behalf of your dad. You might want to mention this to the DAV when you call. Her benefits could increase in other ways if your dad died of a "service connected" condition.
If you need help, contact one of the many Veterans Service Organizations like DAV, American Legion, Veterans of Foreign Wars, etc. I've used a couple including DAV. Most who have experience with a county veterans rep have found their experience to be pretty lacking.
You MUST get professional help in obtaining the benefit. This benefit can make all of the difference in choices your mother makes concerning her care for the rest of her life. Professional help by a VA Accredited Attorney costs around $800.00.Go to http://www.va.gov/ogc/apps/accreditation/ and search for an attorney by you. A consultation is usually free. They will only take on your case if they are fairly certain you will qualify for the benefit.
Why not seek private care-giving help on a part-time basis in the meantime ?