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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
That depends on what she is saying or doing to hurt you. If she is being mean and spiteful I don't see any reason to allow her to get away with it just because she has dementia. If she has dementia you can't argue with her or convince her what she believes is wrong, but you don't have to be a doormat either. "Mom, it really hurts my feelings when you say/do that, I'm going to go now and come back when you are in a better mood". Then go.
Is it possible that what is happening is that your mom is agitated? Talk to her doctor, she may need meds to calm her. Or, if you have access to a geriatric psychiatrist, they can sometimes do wonders with meds.
The thing to rem0? Your mom's brain is broken. She is no longer reasoning in the same reality that you and I are.
Oh, never let on good grief, if they know it hurts you it gets worse. freqflyer is on the right track, toss the comment back. "Yes, and when I am gone you will be so much better off" Clutch your chest and wince for added effect.
1) Confrontation in the sense of trying to convince Mom she is wrong or shouldn't say those things is useless, and may only make matters worse. 2) Confrontation in the sense of acknowledging your own feelings and temporarily leaving the scene can help protect you and is worthwhile. Don't expect it to "teach" your mom anything. She has a broken brain. 3) If this behavior is unusual for Mom (she hasn't always been like this) and she seems anxious or agitated, some medication can be really helpful.
Hugs to you. It is extremely hard to make the sacrifices we do as caregivers, and then to be insulted on top of it is outrageous! My mantra was "This isn't my loved one talking, it is the disease." Repeat as needed!
BTW, all of our advice is based on the fact your mom has dementia. Tough Love might be appropriate in other circumstances, but not when dementia is involved.
I see from your profile that your Mom has Alzheimer's/Dementia.... thus my answer would be "no" you do not confront her. Please note your Mom's words are from the fact that her brain isn't working correctly, and confront her won't make sense to her.
If your Mom is saying things like "you are so mean", just reply back "Yes, Mom, I know I am mean". That would make you feel better. It's called therapeutic fibbing.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
The thing to rem0? Your mom's brain is broken. She is no longer reasoning in the same reality that you and I are.
1) Confrontation in the sense of trying to convince Mom she is wrong or shouldn't say those things is useless, and may only make matters worse.
2) Confrontation in the sense of acknowledging your own feelings and temporarily leaving the scene can help protect you and is worthwhile. Don't expect it to "teach" your mom anything. She has a broken brain.
3) If this behavior is unusual for Mom (she hasn't always been like this) and she seems anxious or agitated, some medication can be really helpful.
Hugs to you. It is extremely hard to make the sacrifices we do as caregivers, and then to be insulted on top of it is outrageous! My mantra was "This isn't my loved one talking, it is the disease." Repeat as needed!
If your Mom is saying things like "you are so mean", just reply back "Yes, Mom, I know I am mean". That would make you feel better. It's called therapeutic fibbing.