Dad passed away Dec 30 last year of melanoma. My Mom hasn’t been bathing regularly or cleaning up after herself or her dog. She is incapable of paying her bills.My Mom has a mortgage and many bills so she can’t afford to live in her house. We are thinking of moving her to a small 1 bedroom apartment. She is 2 months behind on house payments and can’t afford to pay property taxes. His life insurance is being contested so she only has her fixed income. My brother and I both live out of state . Just when I think she is doing ok I find out that she’s been lying to me about her incontinance and keeping up with the house. We are terrified she will ruin the carpet in the apartment and get evicted. What should we do?
Get that house on the market at a price it will sell quickly, hopefully leaving mom a little money.
Check into her getting a portion of your dad's social security.
Find all the food pantries close and start using them. Check out if she qualifies for meals on wheels or food stamps (SNAP)
Have a yard sale to create some instant cash and dispose of excess furnishings that will not fit in her new place.
I am sorry for your loss. I hope that you get mom situationed quickly.
Why is Dads insurance being held up? You may have to get a lawyer involved. Call Office of Aging to get a number for Legal Aid. Yes, check to make sure she applied for Dad's SS. This is the short version, if Dad was bringing in 1500 and Mom 750, her 750 will drop and she will get his 1500.
Like isthisreallyreal said, there maybe HUDD apts near you. They take 1/3 of Moms income for rent. She would be responsible for electric and TV.
I am assuming Mom is on Medicare. Does she have a supplimental. If she is considered low income she maybe able to get Medicaid. If she can, there are other things available when you have it. You may need Homecare, they provide it. I also suggest you get Mom to a doctor for an evaluation. She could have Dementia or depressed after Dads death. Things maybe too overwhelming. Hope you have POAs.
If she's incontinent, can't pay bills, lying, etc. I'd make arrangements for you or another family member to go and stay with her for a couple of days. That enables you to know just how competent she is to live alone and run her her own household. I'd actually view the financial records to see what the truth is. She could be confused about it. Has anyone talked to her doctor about her health? If she's not able to live alone, without assistance, moving her to another place where she's alone, might not solve the problem. Depending on what you find out, I'd get consult with Elder Law attorney and a financial expert to see what her options are for these debts and long term care.
I'm afraid I have rather a lot of questions, but first of all I'm very sorry for your loss. It is a very recent loss, and melanoma is a very mean disease. How are you doing?
Is there anybody near your mother providing her with practical and/or emotional support? It's eight weeks, only, after what must have been a terrible experience, and now all this incredibly stressful admin. I feel for all of you.