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I manage the VA benefits for my mother. Because of her dementia, I am the fiduciary for her money and I set that up with the bank. Only I can write checks on the account. We have listed her name and address and then another line that lists me as the fiduciary so I can write checks for her personal items at the store. I can write her a check for cash if she needs money to get her hair cut or eat out. I cannot write a check to a family member, so no one else can use her money. I only pay her bills with the money and I make notations on every check as to what it is being paid for. I simplified her bills, so I only have to pay a few things with checks every month. It's not been difficult since I got it set up. Someone from the VA had to come out to interview me to make sure I would manage the money wisely and they did a credit check to make sure I wasn't a terrible money manager. My mom trusts me because if I spent all of her money, I would be the one left having to pay for everything out of my pocket anyway, so I manage her money very, very carefully.
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It was against the law for you to pay someone to assist you with a VA application. I offered to pay the financial service, and he told me that he could go to jail.
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It's also my understanding that assisting someone to complete and file a VA application is not legal. I was told this by an attorney with whom I used to work, who left the firm to become involved with preparing VA applications in conjunction with financial planners who could then examine a potential applicant's portfolio and make recommendations for change, presumably ones which would require financial management.
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I would ask for help at the nearest VFW post. Often those vets are very good at untangling red tape.
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I would appreciate knowing how long ago some of you applied for benefits, because we (from Tucson, Arizona) applied for my Dad's long term care VA benefits about 18 months ago, and were told a year ago that even though he is 92 and a WWII vet, we might as well go for Medicaid approval because the VA system would never get to him on their list before he died! So we applied for Medicaid and dropped the VA application. Is there hope for reactivating it or is it too late? I had a financial manager at the law firm handling this at the time, so I don't know the details past what I was told by her.
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Joannes, check the asset levels for your area. It might be that your father's assets exceed the maximum allowed by the VA for Vets in your area and the likelihood of getting benefits is low anyway. That's our situation. It's a waste of time for us to apply.

And remember that the VA has been under a lot of pressure because of the way applications have been handled, and some Vets have in fact ied while waiting for treatment. It wouldn't hurt to reactivate the VA app, but I'd go for Medicaid as a more likely source for payment, assuming that your father meets its qualification standards as well.
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I found my local veterans service center to be MOST helpful! Even if you don't have all of the necessary paperwork filled out (yes, it's kind of complicated, but not undoable), have them file a letter of intent to claim for you. That gives you a year to get all of your paperwork in, but any pay once you get it will be retroactive to the date you filed the letter. We filed about 3 months ago, and we just got word that our application was received and they're working on it. Had to get more paperwork in, so not sure how long it will be, but I was surprised to hear from them so soon…I expected 6-12 months from what everyone else says. I think if you have all your paperwork done ahead of time and send it all in at once, they will probably process you faster because they don't have to file it in suspense pending receipt of all the etc.'s.
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GardenArtist, that may have been the issue...the assets...But we had already spent over $75000 of his money paying privately for dementia care. He IS now qualified for Medicaid and all remaining assets are in Mom's name only as her half of the trust. But mainly hers is the house and the one car left plus perhaps $10,000 total in cash that we are paying bills with. It all goes fast and it's probably good that Dad's dementia is so bad, as he would have a fit that all he worked for and saved is about gone. At 88 and 92, they are simply outliving their assets. I understand that Mom is eligible for VA assist too, but spouses come at the end of the line after everyone else....so likely she will also end up on Medicaid in the end. Then Medicaid gets the house. Getting old is depressing and one lesson all the older people should learn is that they shouldn't go without doing things they want to do...vacations, trips etc....to save for an inheritance for their kids, because their health will eat up all that money anyhow. I kept telling my parents to go do things and not worry about having so much 'saved' up. There was only me left, and as a retired RN, I am pretty OK with my husband and I and the kids grown....but OH MY, it goes fast with dementia treatments.
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There are Veteran's Service Centers that operate independently of the VA. They helped me fill out and understand the A&A benefits. The link here is for the Riverside County, CA office. I include it because they can direct you to the office in your area (assuming you are elsewhere). Good luck!
http://veteranservices.co.riverside.ca.us/opencms/Meet_Staff/
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It took about three months to get my mother's benefits. The free financial consultant included a cover letter with the application stating that due to my mother's age 94 she be put on the fast track. They did, and it is a true blessing. You have to have copies of everything--marriage certificates and the original separation of service letter/form.
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