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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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I think 'right' & 'wrong' fly out the window when we're dealing with dementia and delirium in elders, frankly. I've considered doing this myself a few times when my mother gets insistent on talking to one of her deceased siblings on the phone and demanding to know why they've 'abandoned' her. It's a terrible situation, really, and a Catch-22 for us AND for them. I haven't pretended to be her sister as yet, and have no plans to, but who knows what will happen down the road? The goal with dementia patients is to keep them happy and content at all costs. So if you think acting the part of a deceased family member will make your loved one happy, try it. To say it's 'not right' to do this is silly, in my opinion, b/c there is no more logic once dementia sets in!! A broken brain is at work now and we're desperately trying to give them a little bit of happiness here and there!
Good luck, whatever you decide to do! Asking an internet forum of people means you'll get all sorts of answers. Do what YOU think is best under the circumstances you're faced with.
When the end goal is securing peace, safety, and comfort for a victim of lost reality testing, it could be helpful temporary/interim solution for both caregiver and person in care.
Not in my book. I don't think it is right to lie to elders, even those who are confused. I would simply repeat that you are sorry that the person has died. From my long experience watching patients these things seldom work out well when the lies come into it. Not a moral judgement, but a practical one.
I don’t know that there is a right or wrong here. It’s not something I’d encourage, I’d fear the person with dementia catching on somehow and feeling loss and deception. Maybe a quick, momentary chat and then deflect, but overall I don’t think it wise
I would redirect or come up with an excuse. "Mom can't get to the phone right now" "Dad went to work" "Dad had to take the car in for service" "Mom went to the store." "Billy is in school right now"
Use an excuse based upon the age of the person they want to talk to..but not the age they were but the age of when they are in your loved ones mind. Telling them "Billy is in school right now" will not help if in their mind Billy is 40 years old. It will work on the days when in their mind Billy is 12.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Good luck, whatever you decide to do! Asking an internet forum of people means you'll get all sorts of answers. Do what YOU think is best under the circumstances you're faced with.
When the end goal is securing peace, safety, and comfort for a victim of lost reality testing, it could be helpful temporary/interim solution for both caregiver and person in care.
I always liked this story.
https://medium.com/@SoldiersWhisper/he-needed-his-soldier-son-8f9bb20c88a
"Mom can't get to the phone right now"
"Dad went to work"
"Dad had to take the car in for service"
"Mom went to the store."
"Billy is in school right now"
Use an excuse based upon the age of the person they want to talk to..but not the age they were but the age of when they are in your loved ones mind. Telling them "Billy is in school right now" will not help if in their mind Billy is 40 years old. It will work on the days when in their mind Billy is 12.