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my partner suffers from serious neuropathy that prevents walking without assistance…while they go to pt, they do not aggressively continue exercises on their own. Consequently, they become very depressed, subject to repeated falls among other things. I find that I become irritated, and less patient with them when these things happen. I feel bad about that, and want to learn how to be more patient with their situation.

It sounds as if your partner is cognizant so maybe the conversations could go like this...
I know you could do more to help yourself. You are at risk of getting seriously hurt if you fall. And if I am helping you I could get hurt as well. You need to make sure you are always using your walker. If you fall I can not help you up without risking hurting you or myself so I will call 911 (or the non emergency number) for a LIFT ASSIST. I will do this each time you fall.

and maybe another conversation like this.....
I know you get depressed with what you are going through. I think you need to talk to your doctor about medications that might help with the depression. It is possible that if you feel better about yourself you may feel better about following through with your PT and that can help make you feel better as well and maybe the medications could be for just a little while.



I understand losing patience if the person you are losing patience with is not doing what they can to help themselves or you.
And a conversation for YOU for YOUR doctor.
Doc, you know what I'm dealing with maybe I need to talk to someone about my feelings and learn how to better deal with things. Do you have a suggestion for a therapist I might talk to?
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Grandma1954
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Neuropathy is not curable or significantly changed with physical therapy, make no mistake. Your partner is doing nothing wrong, and is suffering greatly from this affliction, so getting impatient with him isn't to either one of your benefits! The way to be more patient is to realize that neuropathy is nerve damage. The only thing that helped my mother a lot was Cymbalta antidepressants which, for some reason, work beautifully on neuropathy. Have your partner speak with their doctor about the pros and cons of this medication which would also address their depression.

Most people who suffer from severe neuropathy wind up in a wheelchair after enough falls, so realize the seriousness of the condition. It's not easy for either of you to deal with.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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You don't say how old your partner is? Age makes a difference in how we respond.

Have you tried doing the exercises with them?
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Reply to JoAnn29
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I can see why you would lose your patience in this situation. My mom would do as little as possible and declined more quickly due to that. Very annoying.

Talk to your partner about the situation. Find out if they can tell you any of the whys of why they don't try to help themself. Regardless of the answer (or lack thereof), you need to emotionally distance yourself from it a tiny bit. Accept the fact that this is the way it is and that they have chosen their path. Accept that they will continue to fall. There is nothing you can do to prevent it, besides the basics of doing things like removing throw rugs, etc. My mom is in the falling stage and fell 3 times in 2 months, last one ending with a broken foot and 5 weeks in rehab. I fully expect more falls and injuries in the near future. It's just the way it goes at this stage and I'm just resigned to it and will just deal with what comes along.

Best of luck.
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Reply to againx100
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Logan, my mom's doing the same, there comes a point in there aging years that PT just doesn't work. My mom 88 had in house PT this winter, and she is going backwards again. I was considering seeing if she can get more, but I think most likely after PT is over she is just going to go backwards after it's done, and I'm going to cause myself more needless headaches.

As far as patients maybe you tube, your husband's physical issues, it may help you to understand what he is going through.

If your husband has any dementia, Google Teepa Snow, shes awesome.

And most importantly, get help, and get breaks, and try to clear your head on those breaks.

Or maybe it's time for AL.

Best of luck to you
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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Neuropathy isn't, sadly, going to be much helped by balance exercises. That's the truth. So I think you can let go of pressing for that.

What testing has been done for other conditions? Is there any workup suggesting a Parkinson's, Lewy's or other problem may be going on here. This sounds like neuropathy with balance issues.

Falls are inevitabe. I am not certain here what is afoot with you, and you may be worrying regarding future, ability to keep partner safe, and etc.

If you are unable to curb your input and feel it is abusive in any way I would see a cognitive therapist to learn some insight and some tricks to use for yourself in this very trying time.
Wishing you the best.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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