I'm worried about my own mental health. Often say the wrong word, have trouble with math, etc. I pass all the tests, so how do you know?
I also have no sense of direction, but I've pretty much always been that way.
My daughter thinks I'm just a ditz or have adult ADHD, but I don't know if she is just trying to make me feel better.
When I read these forums and see just how awful dementia is and the horrible things caregivers go through, I am terrified. I get so paralyzed with fear that I check things I do multiple times. For instance, I will open the dishwasher or washing machine more than once to make sure the detergent compartments are closed. I will have my spouse check simple math for me when making change or figuring out a tip at a restaurant. I feel like I should talk less so I don't say something bizarrely wrong, like getting the wrong month or season. I'm driving myself nuts!
Articles say that if a person is concerned about his/her memory, then that is a sign that the person probably is developing cognitive problems. BTW, I am 67 and do not have a family history of dementia.
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Lack of sleep re pain (join the club) will also mean your mind not running at optimum due to pain and lack of sleep.
Worry about others and anxiety about possible dementia will also play their part in “juggling too many balls” - instead of focusing on the conversation/ task in hand.
Meditation - relaxation therapy plus light exercises for the brain - increase till still enjoyable but as hard as you can - I used to do countdown with my uncle. But there are many other shows for general knowledge etc.
Laughter is always the best medicine - try and get a daily dose along with being kind to yourself too - near permanent pain and lack of sleep mean you deserve some kindness.
if you still find you want medical confirmation then by all means follow the excellent suggestions given by others here.
copy and paste into your browser it’s a table re normal aging versus dementia.
With regard to normal quirks you’ve always had dont count those. For example I can drive down a road 20 times in one direction. But if for some reason I drive down that same road from the other direction - I won’t recognise it - just a weird quirk of mine I have always contended with.
Therapy sounds like it would be a good choice for you. I can't begin to tell you how much it has helped me over the years. A good therapist will help you navigate through things. You sound like you are giving yourself anxiety - been there done that. They will work with you to get to the root of your issues and you will start to feel better probably after a few sessions.
If there are articles out there saying if a person is concerned about their memory, they probably are developing cognitive problems....come on. Who hasn't been concerned about their memory at one point or another? That doesn't mean anything.
Don't worry, speak to someone and voice your fears.
I am now 60. I first began recognizing I was having memory issues in February of 2011. I was having difficulty mastering things that for many years came to me easily. I went and saw my doctor who tried to assure me it was probably not memory issues, but stress of working 60-70 hrs a week, having a special needs child and helping my DW manage the life of our child, and even though I'd been managing sleep apnea effectively through CPAP, that it was stress from these issues.
Five years after talking with the doctors about increasing memory issues I was fired from my last job for failure to meet goals after having been in my line of work for over 37 yrs. I had also watched my maternal uncle and step-father die from ALZ disease one in his late 70's, one in his early 90's. I vowed to myself I'd keep an eye out on things and not be a denier of memory problems. My whole life, I'd been a spitting image and similar personality to my uncle and I knew I didn't want to suffer the way he and my stepfather had suffered. Once I was fired from my job at the age of 56 the doctors took note and ran me through an MRI and Neuropsych exam. Low and behold 4 months later after all testing was completed I was diagnosed one month before my 57th birthday with early onset ALZ. I was right all along.
Once I knew what the problem was I set out to learn more about this disease and I believe the Holy Spirit guided me to find this Forum. I've learned a lot, and made it my mission to share advice I have to offer with others effected by this horrible disease. I encourage anyone who thinks they may have a problem to stand up and strongly advocate for yourself. The biggest mistake I made in going through the diagnosis process was not having my DW go along with me for the Neuropsych exam. The results given to me by the Neuropsych doctor orally, was a different story
than what he put in writing two weeks later. I wish I had her with me but never dreamed it was necessary, nor did the doctor say, I should be accompanied.
We were in the process of setting up Estate Plans, Medical Directives, Pour Over Wills etc. when I received the diagnosis. I had a friend recommend a lawyer that specializes to Social Security Disability who took on my case and 52 days after he filed the paperwork, my first check was in the mail. I hope fellow readers find this useful. I learned so much from this valuable site, I'm glad it's here and thank all for their contributions to Aging Care.
My suggestion would be to check in your local library (or bookstore) for the book you like best on Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Your brain is not falling apart. You can cope with these problems. You have already taken the first big step by admitting you have a problem. This is a challenge you can face; and you have already moved away from denial to action.
Take care.
With prayer and hope.
Working in psychiatry and mental health services for the last 10 years has shown me that people who are already worrying about their state of mental health can go down a "rabbit hole" when trying to self-diagnose and it's just not a nice place to go.
OkieGranny, can you talk to your doctor about this? I agree with many of the comments here. You've been working really hard and maybe life stresses have just worn you out a bit? An assessment for anxiety disorders may prove helpful! :)
I knew that I missed the intellectual stimulation and problem solving aspects. And I missed the bagels on frigid mornings when we gathered in the kitchen to share driving and cold horror stories and munch on bagels before we started work.
That kind of bonding occurs differently during caregiving, but it's still not the same as the camaraderie and commonality of working toward company or firm goals.
I've tried to reframe post caregiving and trust management in those terms, and it's helped, but I never made the connection you did.
Thanks for sharing that insightful observation.
An observation on this thread: I think it's one of the most helpful in a broad sense b/c it raises issues that apparently many of us face, and addresses them in a rational manner. It is comforting to know that I'm not the only one who double and triple checks to make sure the gas is off on the stove, or that the car is in "park" before I get out.
Both of those could be emergency situations; I'm wondering of others who double check if the items of concern are also in the emergency category. Perhaps that's the basic issue, given that we're responsible for others who are vulnerable. It might be more of a mothering or fathering instinct, or the oxytocin function.
It really is a situation of use it or lose it. When I retired from business I found myself having these same difficulties, it was because I was not challenging my brain in ways that kept it on its toes, as it were.
I have found just looking at what day it is and what day of the week was a tremendous help to keep me oriented to reality and then I started doing simple math everyday to keep that part if my brain functioning.
It is so important to challenge ourselves mentally daily to keep all of the connections well lubricated.
I have a dear friend that is 89 and she forgets words and knows that she has a hard time retrieving words, but I am not worried because she knows the right word when you help her. I will worry if she starts saying, no that's not it, when I know it is the word.
She was having some issues and getting pretty bad a couple of months ago and it ended up that she had some nutritional deficiencies that were found through blood work. Now that she is stabilized I have a challenge keeping up with her. She says staying active helps her in all ways, that is the secret of life. Walk!
I pray that you are well and it is something as simple as no use or nutritional deficit. Hugs!
1) Those of us in this forum are "bombarded" with questions about dementia all the time, so we're always reading and thinking about this subject.
2) On occasion I've had lapses of memory or embarrassed myself--but then I recall that this had happened when I was much younger, too. In one incident during my late teens, I was with a small group of other teens which including two who were brother and sister. I was asked by a third person as to who had attended some event, and I started to spout names including that of the sister (as if she weren't in the room) to which her brother asked "you mean my sister here?" I felt quite awkward--it was almost like "the flip side" of forgetting someone's name one has known a long time.
3) I've worried when I make a mistake while typing, such as typing the same word twice, or typing a word other than what I should have typed, and then I look back and wonder how I could have done so. Several people in my family have developed a degree of dementia---but all have been at least 85 at the time, and I'm only 67 so I stopped worrying about it. I believe typing makes it easy to do this, and it probably wouldn't happen during handwriting. However, I seldom write much by hand--my handwriting is rather lousy and I even hate having to sign my name.
My handwriting has always been awful and is getting worse, too.
You forget things? Make notes. You can't remember the right words? Write them down. You can't remember the day, month, year? Welcome to retirement where every day is Saturday because we don't have to go to work.
I can't remember a time when I didn't mess up the year, especially on New Year's Day! The lady at the bank told me that is just so common that they don't worry about the year being wrong on checks at the New Year.
I'm going to be 68 in 2 weeks and I've been just like you for as long as I can remember. I make notes. If I think of a word I want to use I will jot it down to remember it later. Every morning, upon waking, I tell myself what day of the week it is. I now understand why days are "X'd" out on calendars! I don't do that - but at least I now know why it is done. I've learned that my life is now made up of millions of "senior moments" - all tied together. Instead of worrying, thank God for another day to try try try again.
Love you,
linda - another oldie but I'm still a goodie too!
One example of my goofiness is that I asked a teen in our church what she was going to do with her summer. She looked at me funny and said summer is almost over. It was August! My only defense is that she carried her schooling into the summer and had only recently finished for the year, but still, how can I not remember what season it is?
B-12, found in the majority just in animal foods, can only be assimilated in the intestines via the "intrinsic factor" - - of which we have less and less effectivity as we age.
Taking an oral supplement of B12, one that is swallowed and depends upon digestion, is pretty much useless.
Take heart - - there is an easy way to get B12 that is just as effective as a physician's injection: B12 in the sub-lingual form.
For years, the only sub-lingual form available was cyanocobalamin, but more recent research has shown that methylcobalamin, available now (although at a higher cost), is much more biologically active. Don't worry if you can only get the cyano- form, as it is still effective.
Please do not think that it is workable to suck on just any old B12 tablet - - NO, for proper assimilation, the sub-lingual form must be prepared molecularly in the lab.
Sublingual is just what it means too: you don't swallow it with a liquid chaser - - you put the tablet under your tongue and let it dissolve, slowly swallowing saliva as it is produced - - the idea is that the majority of the B-12 is absorbed through the oral mucosa.
My sister, a retired RN, refers to the brain fog and forgetfulness as "anemia brain."
My sense of direction is zilch ironically too and always has been. I’m a southpaw and have a number of other issues medically.
If you worry or are depressed that also affects your memory - so the best thing you can do is laugh at those odd glitches. For example I could not remember the word cauliflower the other day and had to say it’s like broccoli but white! 🤣🤣 shop assistant thought I was joking since I was stood by the darn things!
Do crosswords, try thinking of mnemonics for things - I never could remember a lady’s name - then learnt to think Man In A boat and can remember Manina now! Or ‘Ave A Card O for avocado - psoriasis I never could say properly till I broke it down - I say psoriasis but think Sore Eye A Sis
i got bad re gas fire - would go and check it then wonder if turned light out..... ended up saying I’m checking fire ... I’m turning light out. That resolved then got same issue with handbrake. I’d go back to check. In the end one day I decided I always checked and always the hand brake was ok so I left it. Came back - hadn’t put handbrake on! But car not gone anywhere so stopped worrying
The very things you worry about are probably what your family find endearing about you! Stop worrying and enjoy life - it’s short
I'm trying to get into a habit of making time to laugh, even if it's at something silly, vulgar or childish, figuring there is probably a reason why it has been called "the best medicine". (Thanks for YouTube!)
Tothill and Earlybird make good points on worrying and stress. I've found that to be a major undercurrent of mental confusion, especially if the worrying involves multiple subjects, literally too many for one person to handle at one time.
"Trying to do the things I hate and/or fear is quite a challenge."
I think that's a factor in what I've been thinking about for some time. We're in a position for which we literally have no preparation, and are faced with challenges that often do not have solutions.
In some ways we're like hikers trying to climb mountains w/o climbing gear, trying to figure out our paths and moves as we go alone. And to complicate these ventures, we're dealing with our parents' or other family individuals' health, and lives.
That's an awesome challenge, and one that I think our generation doesn't have all the preparation, and certainly not the financial support, that we need. So we struggle along as best as we can.
One of the changes I found most notable was the difference from a paid job. We have responsibilities, support for them, job obligations are defined, and we can either work within parameters or adapt to new ones, with the firm/company's support.
That access, support and confidence of accomplishment don't always exist in caregiving. Sometimes I felt as I was moving forward with blinders on, b/c of the lack of information and support.
So, many of us are in uncharted territory. That's enough to cause anxiety in and of itself, let alone adding in the responsibility for someone who's aging, has health problems, mobility problems, or more.
The other aspect that's missing from these jobs we have as caregivers is the knowledge of a job well done. There are some here who had confidence in themselves and felt they did their best. I envy them, b/c I think many of us had anxiety over whether or not we're able to do that. I second guessed myself a lot, and still do, and it leads to indecision, on many levels.
Summarizing, I think we're in situations where reinforcement can be minimal if it exists at all. We question our actions. We don't build up confidence, and in fact I think it's slips away. The negativity takes its toll. And we lack the benefit if not emotional reinforcement of a job well done.
Add to that possible sibling hostility, and perhaps one of the biggest factors in life today, the friction, turmoil, hostility and violence that's risen in society here as well as in other countries.
This is NOT a happy time for our planet's residents. And now we're going through procedures that don't happen regularly, and which create a lot of tension and anxiety about the short and long term direction of the country.
The amount of data we have to absorb has exploded. It's no wonder we can't think clearly.
What is temper?
Angry temper is easy ,you are wrong A easy way to neutralize this is to say they are not wrong ,they are their own average.
Fearful or self doubt,self blame,self disgust is what most people deal with.
some times we get stuck on making decisions.Or blame ourselves for past mistermeaners,haha All these things are average.A easy way to settle inner strife is to ask ,what would another do if dealt this conflict ?
temper begets temper.remember the last tiff with the spouse?The simple way is for one to give up being right This is no easy path take my word on it.lol
When temper is around between spouses they separate and are no longer a group You know what that feeling is like and its not pleasant.
So what can we do to return toa peaceful relationship?
Dr.Low says while we may be in temper we can wear the mask.Temper has a lot of feeling but little force.
I get mad at events relationship problems etc.But while I may be stuing inside I come out of and say I better clear this temper so I dont get worse off.
Dr.Low has come up with "spots"to use for us to stop the cycle of temper and return to peace Knowing all this wont help much you have to use it daily
While the world around is stormy clouds and trouble we can keep our inner peace .
Every morning when I awake my fears and apprehensions are there.But I know that simply getting up and starting the day will clear my mind of strife.
The antidote is to do the things you fear and hate to do.
You course you have to avoid expressing temper,
he also said he had angry temper often
Im a follower since 1994 and even 10 years into PD im good
No meds except a small sinemt for PD at 72
A hundred years ago when I was in my 20s (and knew nothing of dementia and Alzheimer's), I had a period when I would write simple words, like "the" and wrote it "teh". It was terrifying.
I went to a neurologist and she ran a bunch of tests then asked what my life was life. I told her of the stress and the workload (I was in the military). She told me I was fine but I had too much running around in my brain (my words). I learned to calm down, even refusing to participate in whining sessions on duty. In a matter of months I was fine. Since then, if things like this start happening, I recognize it and work to slow my life down. That helps a lot.
Have you been to your family doctor for a complete lab workup recently?
About 10 years ago in my mid 40's I was having memory issues, doing odd things, like forgetting I was cooking dinner, completely forgetting conversations. I was terrified. When I spoke with my doctor, he assured me that he worries about those who are not aware that they are forgetting and their family drags them in. He did a full lab work up and it turned out I was B12 anemic.
If you have always been bad with direction, then don't worry about that, it is not going to magically get better now.
Start with your doctor, if you are passing the memory tests in the office, then they need to look for a medical reason. And I can attest to the fact that the more I worried about it the worse my memory was.
The way I view it, our brain is like hundred of filing cabinets where we have stored information all of our life. Now those filing cabinets are full, so it takes longer to find the right thing we needed.... and sometimes what we need has been misfiled so we remember it two days later, usually at midnight :P
My hobby was politics but I have found in the past three years that filing cabinet has exploded so all the info is now scattered. I am better off not watching the news.
As for double checking things, that is a bit of OCD, which I have. As my primary doctor had told me, if it doesn't have a major impact on your life, don't worry about it. It's like being absent minded.
Now a days I can't answer more than a couple things on Jeopardy, so instead I watch Cash Cab where I get 75% of the answers correct. That makes me feel good.
Anywho, welcome to the club :)
I do think I have ADD. Not drastic but a little. Stress will screw with ur head too.