I'm having trouble turning my brain off and sleeping. Any advice?
I’ve really had it now with times during the month my grandma (with dementia) will scream in the middle of the night, bang on the walls and call for help. I can’t go back to bed because I’m so wound up. She’ll do this a few times a week then it will stop and it will be back to normal for a while. She’s quiet and sleeping is great BUT I’m still having trouble sleeping because I’m anticipating and fearing that I’m going to get woken. So, I keep waking up in the middle of the night between 1-5am. I wake up multiple times and can’t go back to sleep. I get more frustrated because it’s like my mind is playing tricks on me. I just want to freaking sleep again. I’m trying taking magnesium, meditations, ear plugs, sleep music but still my body wakes up for no reason and it’s adding more sleep anxiety because every night I’m just like please god let this be the night I get a full sleep. It’s been almost a week exact since I’ve had a peaceful restless sleep. Does anyone else struggle with? How can it be easier please I really could use some support and help?
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I still do wake up during the night sometimes and do have Zolpidem that I can take 1/2 a pill if I cannot get back to sleep.
Hope this helps
Most sleeping tablets are addictive, and also stop working after a while. I became addicted myself, and it was quite unpleasant getting ‘clean’ – like jet lag for a fortnight. Now I have a limit of 3 nights in a row, followed by a couple of nights break even if things are difficult.
There are different types of drugs. Here the mildest are available without prescription and are based on antihistamines, like hay fever drugs, which make about 80% of people drowsy (not everyone). The effect wears off after a few nights in a row. Second, if I wake in the night, a half tablet of paracetamol (acetaminophen) helps me to go back to sleep, I don’t really know why. It works for DH too. Third, there are the true temazapan type sleeping tablets which are the ones to be careful about. An elderly friend said that eating something small helped him – his theory was that it gave the body something to concentrate on. Perhaps that’s why the paracetamol works.
To relax your brain, I tell myself a story from a book that I know well. It helps to take my mind off my worries. Georgette Heyer’s Regency Romances work well for me.
It’s important to be careful with drugs, though hospitals and some care facilities use them quite regularly. But they do help. Best wishes, Margaret
Zolpidem (Intermezzo) or a 1/2 of a 5 mg zolpidem, or a 1/3 of a 10 mg tablet, taken with a sip of water, will get you back to sleep. That's my advice. No reason to reinvent the wheel when there is a practical miracle rx.
I'm sorry Im unable to offer you any help, just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in how you're brain reacts to such an experience.
My husband finds Valerian Root helpful. It's got a strong odor but, definitely relaxes him & he can sleep thru the night.
I went through it with my son. He used to call all hours and sign me up for things on the computer that would randomly call me at all hours of the night. I had to change my phone number and not give it to him. But that was after I developed severe insomnia. I would go 3 nights in a row with 0 minutes of sleep, then sleep 4 hours, then a few days again... I ended up having a mental breakdown. Don't risk your health, please!
Now I take sleeping meds and use an app called Better Sleep. I listen to sleep sounds, and on rough nights put on a meditation or a story. It's neat having your phone read you a bedtime story!
I'm in favor of the above instead of pills, but pills sometimes are necessary. I also found that once my body begins waking up at the same time every night such as you describe, I take melatonin or a sleep aid (choose your fav, OTC or script) for one night to "reset" my body. But if take them all the time, I have an even harder time falling asleep because now my body seems to have become dependent on them - thus a wean off period and one or two sleepless nights are guaranteed.
Finally - being Catholic, in order to occupy my mind back to the - can't think of two things at once - I recite the rosary prayers until I fall asleep.
I'm not sure any of this helps. But prayers!
1 - Start by talking with your grandma's doctor. She definitely is having sleep disturbances and needs some medications to help her relax and stay asleep. It would be worth it to have her evaluated and treated by a psychiatrist - preferably geriatric psychiatrist - who can prescribe medications that work well for the older generations.
2 - See a counsellor and/or psychiatrist to deal with your anxiety. You are "anticipating" a rough night of broken sleep so you in essence wake up and "wait" for the disturbance. It really is a new sleep habit you have created. So getting Gram to sleep through the night is the start, then creating new habits for yourself to help ease back to sleep. A psychiatrist can prescribe medications to help you sleep better while you deal with the other issues.
Once there's a solution for her to sleep consistently, then your sleep problem will resolve on its own.
-Talk to your doctor about using Trazadone.
-Lavendar fragrance under your pillow.
-CDC tips (https://www.cdc.gov/sleep/about_sleep/sleep_hygiene.html)
-https://lavenderbythebay.com/blogs/lavender-by-the-bay/lavender-and-sleep
Perhaps grandma needs to be placed in a care facility that operates 24/7?
Haven’t tried it yet, but it sounds promising!
I started taking melatonin, only 3 mg, I can always wake up if I need to, and don't seem to be groggy in the morning. If you try it you may need to play with the dosage until you find the right amount for you.
We as caregivers are only as good as we are, IF we take care of ourselves.
Another thing I find very helpful brings my Christian beliefs into play. If this is not you, I am sure you can find a similar substitution that works for you. When I can't sleep it is because of all the random thoughts racing in and out keeping me from relaxing. Praying never worked because every time I would pray for myself or someone else, my mind would then begin racing down all the rabbit holes of the issue for which I am trying to pray... causing more anxiety. Instead I begin singing hymns in my head which seems to block out the random thoughts. When praying my own words doesn't seem to help, I have found I can sing the Lord's prayer in my head and the anxiety seems to begin to melt away. There is something about singing songs I've known for many years that calms my mind and heart. I think it is because the words come naturally and without a lot of thought and if I forget them, a few la-la-la's work just the same. Also singing the 23rd Psalm has been good but mostly simple hymns. Sometimes it isn't even Christian music but just humming classical music in my head with no words! It is all about blocking out the random thoughts with something calming that helps me drift off to sleep. The random thoughts only build anxiety for me.
The last resort was accepting a prescription for me to help with the high level of anxiety I experienced early in the pandemic when I learned if my husband went to the ER I could not be there, knowing most people could not understand his speech. I resisted because of the concern that he would have a bad fall if I was in a deep sleep and not hear him getting out of bed... then being hospitalized without me there to advocate for him. My geriatrician finally convinced me she could prescribe something very mild at a low dose and I agreed and has helped.