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I have one week left until my fingerprints will be done then it will be official. I am mainly worried because she has discounted rent for a senior. I don’t want it to raise the rent then she will not be able to afford it when I move out. I have been caring for her for over a month now but no one wants to work with her due to her foul language calling them expletives and physical abuse. I’m hoping to find more relief mainly in the day time.

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You're in CA and IHSS is In-Home Supportive Services.

We need some clarifying:

So she's in her own apartment and you have been living there for a month and now will be moving out or back to your original residence? Is she capable of managing her affairs, like banking, paying rent, staying out of trouble?

Has she ever had a medical diagnosis of dementia/memory impairment?

Does your Grandma have a PoA? Is it you? Someone else? If she doesn't have a legal representative, this will be challenging to get her the help she needs, especially if she doesn't cooperate.

The next time she says anything threatening or is physically abusive you need to call 911 and have her Baker Acted. That will hopefully be the beginning of getting her a diagnosis and proper treatment (like medication).
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funkygrandma59 Feb 19, 2024
Geaton this is the same grandma that we both responded to that is waking up screaming from nightmares and hallucinations and where the OP is getting no sleep, and where OP says that grandma has "partial dementia."
Her poor grandma needs way more help than this OP can provide with her dementia worsening.
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Are you planning on moving in to care for her? If you do this, why would you leave her there in the future? Odds are high that she will only need more care and that means you stay or she goes to a facility, negating the rent issue.

You need to speak with her landlord. I live in a state that it is illegal to change someone's rent because they need a live in caregiver, however, all the rules of senior living community apply to the caregiver and will be enforced, typically they watch to make sure the live in isn't a family member trying to get around the rules saying they are a caregiver and bringing chaos to the senior community. I am not saying you would do this, i am telling you what I know about my area and how it works. They do an eviction at that point, of everyone in the home. . So make sure you know and follow the rules for her housing.

Best of luck with this plan, I truly hope it works for both of you.
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Yes, you need to run this by the landlord and if she is on Hud assistance maybe them. If she is getting help with her rent, no one can live with her. They have to have permission.

You also have another post about her Dementia. Your grandmom has full blown Dementia. You should not be giving her OTC drugs. She should be supervised by a Neurologist at least. And given medications only prescribed for those people suffering from Dementia. She needs to be evaluated for what Dementia she has so she gets the right medication. All her symptoms, there is a medication for.

IMO, your grandmother needs to be placed in Memory Care if she has the money or in LTC with Medicaid paying if she doesn't. Wherevare her children in all this? They should be handling at least having her placed. A grandchild should not have to do this.
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